Enough Of That Now

"Choose Denmark. Choose bacon and Lurpak. Choose Sandi Toksvig and Hans Christian Andersen. Choose a strong welfare state, hygge and a stroll through Tivoli Gardens..."

Does anyone else miss the old times, when policy used to get announced in Parliament rather than on 4chan For Business Wankers?

If he's so scared of jail, maybe he shouldn't have done crimes?

They're routinely viewed as America's leading political family in modern history, but I'm struggling to name anything a Kennedy achieved that wasn't infidelity, manslaughter and being in league with the mafia

"But dad..." "Shut up and eat your turd in a bap, cost me a fiver that did"

Do uni students just sit around listening to operas and discussing sociology these days, or are UC teams just made up of massive nerds with no social life?

Amol will ask the teams a slightly easier question if they pay him £999 a month. #UniversityChallenge

Might do some fraud, get someone to grass me up and split the money

If I'm playing as the car in Monopoly, am I still allowed to land on Oxford Street? Has @london.gov.uk thought through the implications here?

Me and the regular group who like my posts

Shatner and Takei take one step closer to owning the 1:1 scale Enterprise sat in a hangar at Edwards Air Force Base

Ombudsman - a Buddhist marijuana dealer

Will appeals against fines for not using headphones have to go to the Earbudsman?

This result is going to make Mark Zuckerberg cry, so if someone close to him with a pair of Meta Nonce Goggles ™️ could video it without his consent and put it online that would be great, thanks

Trump in the morning when someone asks about Bolsonaro

Finally, 52:48 stops being the cursed ratio

Congratulations to Flavio Bolsonaro on following in his father's phlegm-speckled footsteps

Serbia and Brazil both giving authoritarian asshats the finger?

72.36% of the votes counted Lula - 51% Bolsonaro - 49%

"Dazzle, tell me what the three best features of my daughter are?" Somewhere at social services, an alarm should be going off

I can only assume the "what major threat is the government hiding from us?" types have been living in a cave on Mars with their fingers in their ears

John Peel's now been dead for longer than all the girls he used to get blowjobs from in the TOTP studios had been alive Incredible double standard gets applied to indie nonce DJs compared to pop ones

A Bolsonaro getting involved in election rigging?

Lots of rubbish swirling around the pitch at the Stadium of Light But enough about the two teams

If I was trying to humblebrag about playing "big arenas", I wouldn't give away that there were only 300 people in attendance

A month ago, Sir Jim Ratcliffe lectured the Prime Minister, telling him he should run Britain in the same way he runs Manchester United

Just bring the England cricket team home, before it humiliates itself any further

Gary Neville bemoaning United not spending more in the summer Mate, you're getting hammered at home by a club whose record signing cost £31 million. The size of your chequebook isn't always the answer You'd think he'd have learned you can't buy success at Salford City

England's persistence with picking strapping public school chaps who can't bowl coming back to bite them

Tap

In 2011, Amol Rajan published his first book, Twirlymen: The Unlikely History of Cricket's Greatest Spin Bowlers Clearly, that was the trigger for the decline of civilisation

Thoughts and prayers with Ryanair and Easyjet passengers whose flights home have been cancelled You may as well make a new life wherever they've stranded you

This is one of the larger left-of-center Facebook pages, and I do feel like a few years ago, left-of-center people on social media with large audiences were not using terms like “goyslop”?

“A distinctively British approach to artificial intelligence”

We have the same cooker in the kitchen as was there when we bought the house in 1995 Never needed so much as a single engineer out to it

“A distinctively British approach to artificial intelligence”

“He’s got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened up a Cheesecake Factory” — Obama

Wow Tabby Stoecker Just, wow #Strictly

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God, the constant arselicking of Delta for doing even the most basic things is vomit inducing #Strictly

An entire 20 seconds of that routine where they were completely out of sync, but we'll just overlook that shall we? Fuck me, this is so rigged #Strictly

Shirl has such the hots for Will Best, doesn't she? Damp seat time #Strictly

Chelsea's cavalcade of comedy keepers continues with Mike "thrown in the dee" Penders

Hoping when Graham does his Couple's Choice it's heelwork to music with a border collie #Strictly

“A distinctively British approach to artificial intelligence”

Chelsea making Spurs look good here

Out for a walk this morning, before the weather turned to cack. Unexpected meadow pipit and made a new friend