Ashlie Weeks, Esq.--"Mo"

The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.

It's is my nickname since I was an infant.

Have a great day y'all I mean like a great one considering

I cannot stop laughing I need not plank today

I am always told I have a very firm and confident handshake but I'm upping the ante and now shaking hands like this because I'm extra.

I was walking MACHETIE and he pointed out this fence is a metaphor for how safe our country is rn under this admin. Yes he knows what a metaphor is & how to spell it unlike so many governing our lives. And he's a dog. Who knows more. Than creatures running this country.

Good. Do not stop.

Had a virtual meeting to close out the work day and MACHETIE came into the office and he's huge so everyone saw him and the meeting stopped so everyone could talk to him and give him compliments and talk about what a big handsome boi he is

HOLY SH*T THE LEVEL OF CORRUPTION AROUND THEM AND CHEATING VOTING I MEAN HOLY SH*T

"Being hated by idiots is the price you pay for not being one of them." - Nietzsche

I got in a fight with an extension cord Me: I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED cord:

We need Chris Hanson to catch a predator throughout the alt right

I know it's been a hot minute since I posted one of my fit checks getting in the way of Machetie's selfie but I am the tall one in the white shirt

À small child at the bank asked if she could touch my "chubby" hair lol. It's huge and long and curly and I felt like Manny from Ice Age who has fat hair according to Sid the sloth lol. @johnleguizamo.bsky.social

Jack Smith should be at the top of the list for AG under the next Democratic president if he indeed would accept the nomination.

DO NOT VOTE INDEPENDENT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY FFS

lol my bad a typo. Can confirm. We in fact have 4.

All 3 living past presidents should sit together for an interview and condemn together vehemently every aspect of this administration and what is happening in this county. It is their duty. You never escape the responsibility of President of the United States.

Î am trying to understand why Bush W is silent on the Epstein Files when he was the one who expanded ICÉs powers to hunt American pedophiles who go overseas to rape children & bring them back to the US to face our justice system bc of it broader bandwidth. His silence is truly pathetic.

Bestie is having her room measured for a closet design and her cat is supervising. His name is Tito but I call him Neutron. I don't think any mistakes will be made with this kind of supervision.

Ok so I didn't shank anyone today but somebody almost got a roundhouse to the noggin whilst I was wearing stilettos I allowed a side hug but he tried to kiss me

MACHETIE is a gentleman. I raised a chivalrous man who allows me all the latitude to annoy him silly. He lurvs his mommy.

It's almost time to trim your pitbulls again

Friend: Mo why do you insist on having a box spring with a mattress on a platform bed Me: bc my leap angle is greater from the bed to the bathroom in the middle of the night & the monsters under the bed can't reach that high F:... M:... F:... M: such a ridiculous question tbh

It's a frequent reaction to things I say

Hey pedos running the government why don't y'all just use a balloon for a press secretary this time honestly we don't care at this point here I found one for y'all on wayfair

When the plumber was here he asked who my decorator is and I said yours truly & he said but you're a lawyer & I said I can do anything my friend. He wants to hire me to decorate his apartment & his developer friend needs a new stager so he's sending me his way too. Cool beans huh?

I do not have one of these

I have my moments

I had a paper cut last longer than this gal's job

Friend: he Mo how r u M: I am soaked n the blood & secretion of the demons Bael, Beelzebub & Astaroth as they cloak this country n hell's shadow destroying human life & waking all evils from all corners of the world F: ... M: u? F: i got a new sweater i know u love fashion M: cool beans lemme see

Don't wear your hair n a ponytail when walking @ night, have a code word w bartenders when you feel unsafe w your date, don't go 2 the bathroom alone, adjust your car key between your fingers (or a pen if it's a key fob), keep a rape whistle, have a friend on FaceTime when male workers r n your home

"Willow" is streaming. You're welcome.

Timeline cleanse: Tiny Dog big spooning app. 1/3 of his baby brother

White Chicks remains funny every time I watch it

I've passed more than 1 state bar exam on the first shot. I did not go to China to do that because we cannot take state bar exams in China. She may as well have said Saturn. I am dumber having read this. Excuse me while I go do some calculus or read Socrates to revitalize my brain cells.

I am saying this w my chest while putting my back into it: the DNC is a disaster & Dems need a revamp but it's possible they could win HOWEVER don't get all cozy & fight like hell. F*ck polls & pundits. DO THE WORK. Dems for the love of all things holy get your sh*t 2gether. I hope this was loud.

Seed of Chucky speaks in a void again

Galactically speaking these creatures are the dumbest. I don't even need to visit other galaxies to confirm this.

Hey for all critters mi casa es tu casa

This creature need not dress up for Halloween.

Yall Î am getting this for MACHETIE then taking him for a walk down a super busy sidewalk I'll make sure to film it; he is the color of a lion

I sold 2 end tables & b4 the new ones arrive the decor is on the floor. I took a nap & got up & went n2 the room & saw a turtle on the floor and approached it slowly so as not to scare it sure he was confused. I was trying 2 rescue him. It was the decorative plate from the table. Not a turtle.

It's been pouring rain all day so the pups didn't get a walk so my dumb butt decided to rile up the apex predator by wrestling now there's a lion going berserk in the house He is a handsome devil tho

Me when someone says they don't know what side to vote for in the midterms

I wish a politician not MAGA would let me run their social media with no rules and no constraints and no oversight and just let the Mo sparkle reign down and the dark humor run supreme.

If my dog saw me get shot the harm to him would be limitless let alone a child to its human parent. Accountability shall come. Please, folks, take notes and do not give up.

Last night I ate some peanut crackers and painted my kitchen island and cabinets until 2 am. Now I don't want y'all to get all jelly just bc it's super lit here every evening.

Up there with the Nolan Ryan of sandwich hurling