Amanda the Great

Okay so we have a number now: the Onion is officially 6 months ahead of reality.

A few years ago I went to a pig sanctuary and most of the pigs were stoned from eating green acorns. This one, Wilbur, couldn’t stand up and was too big to lift, so the staff had to leave him in this bush and wait for him to sober up.

Once again, Grim Reaper, WRONG 80 YEAR OLD

Thrilled by how many events this year coincide with the high holidays.

Where am I supposed to forcibly project my intrusive thoughts though huh.

I desperately want a Japanese-style cross back apron. Like... It's hard to express how much I NEED this right now.

JFC what did Joanne do this time? I've seen three unrelated posts referencing those books. (I don't actually need/want to know. Trans women are women, trans men are men, transphobes suck.)

I'm listening to Tatsuya Ishii's "River" on loop, in case anyone was wondering about my current mental state.

I'm really fucking tired.

Experiencing my regular anger at people who dislike tofu.

Anyone wanna make a blood pact?

THREAD. A collection of photographs of excellent sheep I have met on walks. You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.

Actually I came up with one.

lol

My semi-regular Columbus Day message: Columbus wasn’t called crazy because he thought the world was round. That had been known for 1000 years. He was called crazy because he thought it was so small he could reach India by going west. And they were right! He was a delusional fool! But lucky.

There's been fairly significant highs and lows over the last two days and I am so very fucking tired.

I had the weirdest dream about the end of the world, punctuated by occasionally waking up with a stabbing tension headache, so I'm excited for how today will flesh out.

I keep forgetting I'm wearing a bra so I guess this new one is a win?

Accidentally took a five mile walk yesterday and a four hour nap today. I am vast I contain multitudes etc.

So what did Vikings really look like? TV/movies tell us they looked like dollar-store biker gangs, wearing black leather, covered in dirt and allergic to colours... but in reality... they looked like 1970s pop singers. Seriously, thread time.🧵 Photo: Roberto Fortuna

feeling cute while killing all your coworkers like

Even The Onion would struggle to come up with a headline and story as ridiculous as this.

If I never again need to hear someone unironically deride something as "woke," ya'll

Trans youth are loved and valued.

Lander: "It's just gross, racist bigotry. Meanwhile he's running an optimistic, upbeat campaign for a NY where everybody belongs, and I feel proud as the highest-ranking Jewish elected official in NYC to be supporting somebody who would be the first Muslim mayor—what could be more NYC than that?"