Brian Transplant

Growing up is constantly telling yourself "Just keep scrolling, dude. You don't need to have a take on that."

Everybody's talkin' bout Pop Muzik

My dude Bryan got robbed.

I interviewed Wil Wheaton who was campaigning for Hillary Clinton who was Obama's SOS So... three?

"Hey, Honest Abe. When you were in the middle of the Civil--" "So I finish one of these sweet fizzy waters, and I can just walk up to that machine and refill my cup for free?!"

"Dude, how'd you get Tom Morello to come to your party?" "I post a lot of Rage bait."

AI-generated restaurant posters are like what food would look like in the Backrooms.

I think Michelangelo wears enough orange to count.

Colonel: "Bobby, use your Soliton Radar to sneak past the guards. We need to find out what FOXHOUND plans to do with Metal Gear." Bobby: "Are you sure I'm qualified for this?"

Overrated: Avatar. It's a pretty movie with not much going on plot-wise. Underrated: Event Horizon does a lot in a short runtime. Great cast, fantastic acting, wonderful mix of practical and digital effects.

For sale: Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars Never a-wuh-oh-oh'ed

For sale: Checkered Vans Never skanked

For sale: Doc Martens Never sulked

Sirius XM 1st Wave is playing the unfortunate rap breakdown from "Rapture" by Blondie again. It's about as bad as when Joe Strummer tried to rap. But not quite as bad as Dee Dee Ramone rapping.

Sony's post-disc PlayStation plan moving forward.

Arcee

The Crowbocop

Sponge Cake

Let's give a big "boo" to The Pokemon Company for a second year straight without Trick or Trade cards. People's faces lit up when I handed them a little pack of Pokemon cards. Even some parents were like "Dude, can I get a pack, too?" And yes! Yes, they could. But apparently not after 2024.

Handing out trick-or-treats like "You! I want to give you a Payday bar! I want to give you a Payday bar! I want to give you a Payday bar! Day bar! Day bar!"

Catbite Me Bambi #Ska @bitemebambi.bsky.social @catbiteband.bsky.social

Me talking to my cat: "The results are in. I'm afraid you have tested positive for being a cat."

Batman Returns for Tax Purposes

I'm not getting into the whole "fake goth vs. real goth" debate, except to say this: None of the people on either side have made their arguments through enough layers of reverb and delay for me to consider any of them "real" goths.

Kentucky Route Zero Dawn

Guitar Heroes of Might and Magic

Good Riddance.

Ruin a book by adding a word: The Divine Prop Comedy

I like how WotC doesn't write lore for the Universes Beyond or Secret Lair stuff. It just exists. "Jace died and transferred his spark to Tam, while Lathliss and Ob Nixilis continued spreading discord. Also Egon Spengler, Starscream, Tifa Lockhart, and Hatsune Miku were there for some reason."

After a few weeks of working at the FLGS with the local alternative rock station playing nonstop, I can say this: I'd be just fine if I never had to hear Sublime's horrible trustafarian anthems ever again.

More totally real Magic: The Gathering Secret Lair 2007-28 leaks. 🚀Critters 🥣Monster Cereals 🍇Fruit of the Loom 🦖Dinosaucers 🏙️Hercules in New York 👻Filmation's Ghost Busters 🍅Attack of the Killer Tomatoes 🧤The OJ Simpson trial 🛸Plan 9 From Outer Space 🫟That time RoboCop shot a dude in the dick

DuckTales from the Crypt

I'm always baffled when the pizza tracker takes forever in the "review" phase. Is Dave Meltzer working there? Anthony Fantano?

Bee Movie 43

Going to see Primetime. The ticket doesn't have a row or number. It just reads "a seat right over there."

It's literally impossible for me to own less "boy wizard" stuff, or to have any less engagement with the brand. The only time I see it mentioned is when someone tells me to stop engaging with it. But I never started engaging with it in the first place.

Corporate wants you to find the difference between this picture and this picture.

Journalists in movies: "I will get to the bottom of this story, even it I have to break several laws and ruin my personal life!" Real journalism: "Editor says I need to submit at least six things a day. I'll just rewrite the police report and move onto the next story."

Leon / The Professional

"You do not understand. Shredder did not kidnap me. I'm into this."

Izzet Guildgate?! I don't know. You tell me! Wocka wocka!

September 30th October 1st

"Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya, Hank!"

Wait. There's a little tiny short story on the back of every box of Dragon Shield card sleeves? Is there lore? Is there like a Dragon Shield wiki, chronicling all of the characters and their goings-on?

Look. There's only three Dots I'm cool with: 1. The Warner Sister 2. The candy 3. .hack

The new Meta Mascot looks like a Fall Guys that was left in the fridge too long.

"Wicked Clownz 4 Lyfe"