Bumfuzzled

Prime & I went and did our civic duty yesterday. Does it feel like our little blue votes make a difference here? Nope. Did it feel good NOT voting for Marsha Blackburn? Fuuuuuuck yes it did.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

Just me watching The Goddess Boys make a Maple Butter Pecan Double Chocolate Caramel Creamy Biscoff crushed ice Milkshake in order to regulate my nervous system.

I found out yesterday that my parents apparently met some dude at their church who was looking for a place to stay for a few weeks while he was apt hunting in the area & they were like “you can stay with us!” And he ended up living in their basement for 3 years. Wtf

I really like to crochet and I’ve made a lot of stuff. I’m realllllllllly not good at making hats.

Me

I was just standing in my kitchen calling Alexa “Alaska” for like 5 minutes and was very confused as to why she wouldn’t respond to me. Hello, I’m apparently elderly.

I have to say that I thoroughly enjoy Lawrence Chaney’s absolute horror on Fashion Photo Ru View every time a Queen has those clear shoe straps on. Love👏it👏

It’s gotten to the point that 1 in every 5 ads on my Instagram feed are “are you tired of being constantly upset & burnt out? You should get an autism assessment” Like, yes, I get it. But also…stop it.

Like….what is happening? wtf

Vote early, Tennessee 🗳️ 🔔 🇺🇸 (H/T @indivisible.org )

I like to slowly…sensually peel & eat string cheese while making sustained eye contact with the dog. Sometimes I’ll throw in a little “gosh I just have sooo much string cheese. I wish there was someone I could share this with…” as I continue to shove all of the cheese in my mouth & not share any.

I grew up in New England and every Chinese restaurant i went to had a Pu Pu Platter on the menu. But recently I realized that outside of New England, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Pu Pu Platter on a menu ever….are they a regional thing?

I got a new mattress topper and gave the old one to the dog. I think he likes it.

holy shit!! artists!!! you guys!! pinlite.app someone made a pinterest facade site that just strips away all the dumb bullshit and gives you only the images this is AMAAZINNNGGGG. Not to mention the web 1.0 grey and blue link vibe lol

Today was burrito day and Chipotle did me DIRTY!!! These are the only things I eat at you, Chipotle! How could you BETRAY me like this!!?

In my head, I pronounce “Albuquerque” as “Alber quway-quway”

The Amazon shopping profile on me is like “is this an elderly person with boring habits? Probably”

Moth 🔦 first picture in my October series!

I have never been so brutally called out in my life

Kamala, this needs to stop. I’m a married man.

Anti-Prime Day starts…NOW! 🥳 Today through midnight on 10/7, enjoy free shipping site-wide, all while supporting local, independent bookstores.

I am really horrible at writing reviews for items that I have purchased, even when I am emailed and asked to write a review. It fills me with guilt.

i can feel the spookiness in the air

I think I would be a really horrible super villain, but I could totally rock a dramatically flowing cloak. Evil deeds? No. Spinning around menacingly in an oversized chair while petting a fluffy cat? Yes, absolutely. Shaking my fist angrily at the sky while being foiled? I’m a natural.

I need to find a small business that’s LGBTQIA+/POC/Woman owned that makes really good wax melts that won’t break the bank, and I need suggestions. #waxmelts #smallbusiness #womanowned #queerowned #pocowned #lgbtqia #transowned

I need a haircut. My sideburns are so long I can see them in my peripheral vision.

We’ve been watching the “Wonka’s the Golden Ticket” reality show on Netflix. It’s decent fun, the set is amazing, and it’s cool that it has no host, but the AI generated voice of Gene Wilder is a little jarring and genuinely creepy.

Listen TikTock, I don’t need these little passive aggressive notes. Sometimes mine & my husband’s algorithms overlap & we know what we like. Get all the way off my back.

Me on my way to the kitchen for a little snacky snack.

Yeah that tracks.

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

I wish caffeine made me feel alert and energized or whatever it is that people get from it. It does nothing for me. If I have too much It makes me feel like my arms are going to fall off. #jealous

“We come from a family of insufferable know-it-alls but those of us with self awareness know how to control that tendency.” (A member of my family said this & while I think I am relatively self aware, I’ve only been so for like 3 years so I still count myself among the insufferable)

What are two sentences I’d use to describe the dog? “Barely holding it together” -and- “Going through it.”

The lift cylinder on my computer chair is dying, but luckily my manager didn’t notice that, over the course of our video call, I was ever so slowly sinking lower and lower in the frame.

You ever get that garlic bread from the grocery store bakery that’s like a fresh loaf that they split down the middle and smear in a metric ton of garlic butter & it comes in a foil bag that you bake it in? That shit is top tier.

Does anyone else know what I mean when I say “brown, Mexican, tiger blanket”? (Well, I had a tiger and my sister had a kitten cause…gender roles). But those were the fucking best. I miss those.

Okay. I’m here for this.

Me waiting patiently for my husband to respond to my very important text messages.

I mean, even if we could get 10% of the "Better Start To Give A Shit" part of the piece to vote, we might have a great chance to #FlipTheHouseAndSenateBlue

Is anyone else disappointed that he is “alive” and actually showed up to work?

#Poetry #Painting #IrishmansDaughter The Irishman's Daughter If I ever have girls they'll be feared by weak men. But to everyone else they'll be a consistent friend. They'll never lack meaning. - Daragh Fleming 🎨 Alister Graham

Me: “hi sales rep, I have the following questions: - should this be this or that? - does this need ABC or XYZ? - can you clarify if the customer needs 123 or 456? Rep: “yes please” Me: 😑

The visionary costume and fashion designer was known as the "Sultan of Sequins" for his eye-catching celebrity looks. n.pr/3SNUvcl

I feel very seen.

My sister enjoys getting texts from me.

Just to feed into the capitalist monster a bit more in an effort to distract myself from ::points to everything in general:: all this. I’ve added a gingerbread tree to my already-too-big ceramic tree collection. It actually came out to be cheaper than if I got a blank tree & painted it myself.