CakeOrGlory

When Ubers detect an invader they clamber onto it and open and close their doors in unison to generate lethal heats of up to 46C

Yet another job we'd really rather Hillary had done.

Disregard previous tweet. I just walked past two twelve-ish lads extremely white kids swaggering out of Sainsbury's eating sweets declaring in a loud Jamaican accent YA FOOD TASTE GOOD MON and suddenly it's the nineties again.

There's something profoundly tiring about the endless stream of articles about the story of how someone you've never heard of got so unbelievably famous. Welcome to culture: you're not in it.

La la la la la la la saliva #eurovision

Spinning round in circles and then playing the violin? That's a flex. #eurovision

Quite enjoying Italy's sudden misery of Ziggy Pop and One Beatle. #eurovision

I love Muppet Christmas Carol, and end up watching it every year. But I think it says a lot that they thought rocking up and interrupting Miss Piggy's Christmas dinner preparations with two dozen more people and a turkey far too big for the oven would be a happy ending.

I hear Andor is really good. Although I'm more excited for the spinoffs, Ifelse and Foreach().

Watching my niece play video games makes me feel old. It's a furious, dizzying whirlwind of optimal attacks, slide-cancelling and weapon switching that just makes me want to play Half-Life 2, alone, on medium. WHY DO YOU LIKE THESE GAMES? IT'S TOO LOUD,YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR THE WORDS. GET OFF MY LAWN.