Overdraft Kings

I love fall weather, but it sucks when you make the wrong call on the jacket when you take your kid to daycare. Doubly so if you don't have a backup jacket

Congrats to Lula on overcoming Mark Zuckerberg and Donald Trump to defeat Hospital Pervert Jr., even as his opposition literally blocked off roads and turned off bus service during election day. Fascists are scary but they are always, 100% of the time, ultimately gigantic fucking losers.

Well my Mom fucked up watching my kid today. Told her the kid liked My Neighbor Totoro and she mixed it up and put on Paprika. Probably not gonna be able to fix this before she gets into preschool

Preparing for my role as Custer by doing my skedaddling warmups

Coworker helped someone with a dispute for X Money already this is gonna be awesome

I quit smoking today and how are all of your voices so insanely annoying?! Holy fuck my God do you hear yourself champ.?

Until outlets can confirm I'm still convinced that Masaaki Yuasa's Mind Game theme park will be announced in Q4

I love 2 separate ideas of this rolling out: 1. Nobody who made, printed, or put up this sign has ever made or ate a breakfast burrito 2. Everyone involved has had breakfast burritos, but they exclusively eat them chipmunk style

I want this to hold out, but being born, raised, and living in Arkansas our people have a strong urge to choke at the finish line on anything. That being said the messaging of coming from a family that lost their farm resonates a hell of a lot better than a well to do family in Yell County

Turns out you're supposed to be jerking it palm down. Guess this is what I get for not having a dad around

Feverishly waiting for the report where an ICE agent electrocutes their balls while trying to grab someone

Reminded of the time I was taken to Bartlesville, OK against my better judgment and I got excited for exactly 12 seconds

Must've ran out of FMLA time right?

Summertime is great because you get more hours with your hip flask full of DayQuil before you have to switch to the wine bag full of NyQuil

The pediatrician who suggested we keep a warm compress over our 2 year old's eye is fucking hilarious Yeah that's working out amazingly well

Deploying my work's active shooter training but it's against the sun

Gotta get these bad boys into Norwegian hands #worldcup

As always

I have a deep seated frustration that there are lots of very talented people putting out content that I just literally can't afford right now. I want to contribute to like 4 different Patreon's and I just can't, mainly bc of my health insurance payments

This raises an important issue: what is the cost per kilowatt hour of Jesus' crucifixion?

Gonna work on terms for my kid that aren't just: developmentally rad as hell

Lately I’ve been in an indie team making stop-motion animation. It’s just 4 of us (animator, writer, voice actor, sound designer). The show’s called The Tiny Angry Witch. It’s all basically hand made. No AI. It’s tiring, but we love what we do. So, anyway, here’s a Witch making rude noises:

I'm 95% sure that my employer is AI coding full time now bc customer alerts just keep breaking, or programs that didn't have bugs a month ago now have error messages that aren't documented for fixes

Being in Arkansas everyone talks a good game about the outdoors and hiking, but 80% of us don't need to be out here. Too many people fall off of cliffs/bluffs every year to be calling ourselves the Natural State. Natural causes maybe

You mean to tell me the guy hogging the Icee machine was ALSO the guy who didn't wash his hands in the bathroom? Shocked. Shocked I tell ya

Custom Robo on the GameCube was 10/10 and the series as a whole needs more entries

Apparently when your kid throws her sock from her chair to the driver's seat at full speed you're not supposed to say, 'She popped one from the chamber of her Kennedy Killer.' Lesson learned

Whoever at my job decided the corporate feel good articles needed to be written by ChatGPT can go stand in traffic. This shit is unbearable even by corporate propaganda standards

Show this to anyone who asks what the Council of Nicea was about. Which comes up every day I'm sure.

My boss sent an X-ray showing her kid's broken arm, and for no reason the letters RJD were on it and my brain read it as Robert Jowney Dunior. I'm extremely tired

Coke polluted rivers being monitored under a "broken stream" policy

God this alligator must've been fuckin' sick

What an inverted experience. He converted and decided to write a book about it. I was raised Catholic and I drink DayQuil from the bottle like it's in a flask. No books yet either

Agreed, and my tangential thought from this is the selection of keto products has exploded in the last 5 years. I remember in 2018-19 when I was eating keto I had to make everything I ate bc nothing really catered to it. Now they have Rebel ice cream and keto bread in stores. Insane

Musk trying to get the cybertruck used as technical, but finding out it does better as a starter log

The thrill of a breakfast diner is all about what they're out of. Like okay you're out of cinnamon rolls I get that, but holy shit you're out of eggs?? Are the eggs just that good or are you managed by me?

Calderon yelling at me, the lighting guy for Life is a Dream

Unstoppable force/Immovable object moment

I think you all need to see this

There is no high quite like a nice old lady saying to me "You've lost weight." Definitively, not asking a question. Just stating the fact. It's awesome

The fun thing about psoriasis on your eyelids is you don't know if it's the medical ointment or the rubbing that is making you go blind. Could have also been the rock that weed eater decided to biblically toss into my eye who can say

Big day for me and my bimbo ICBM fetish