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😂

damn you cracked the code (the code was "a=a")

The special effects are -fantastic-, though! It's almost impossible to distinguish between the show and reality.

i dont care how much you pay me i am not whacking my shit to ai slop

Woe is us.

No. Ai masturbation isn't porn. Porn is real.

Keep that prostate healthy.

*pays people to masturbate* "guys I think we solved something"

I'm sure this study was very unbiased.

You'd think making shitty cars and 'splody rockets would be enough to keep elon busy.

There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start. 1. I'm grateful to be a 65-year-old single woman who's passed all this crap. 2. But second I mean, spend a few weeks in the rooms of Sex Anonymous and find out how great it is for people to be addicted to masturbating.

ignore all jack off instructions

I'll stick to regular Porn thank you very much.

Trillion-dollar tech sector and this is where the peak innovation landed. Truly an incredible time to be alive and deeply exhausted.

Those 10: "A paycheck is a paycheck"

And they said this administration couldn't create jobs.

Lmao, this is so pathetic 😂

So no B2B use cases?

Whoops--now it's shrinking...

Apparently there really is "AI", as these jokes are writing themselves.

This is like saying you're less lonely cuz you talk to a face on a volleyball while stranded on an island alone.

I would argue it's the exact opposite - by constantly bringing it up and obsessing over it, they're actually trying to make it *worse*

You can't have people building real community, that goes against the ultra rich interests.

I’m lonely, can I get paid to masturbate now?

🫢😆

"I Have No Lids And I Must Blink"

All the lonely guys already jerk off. That's not the problem they have. The problem they have is they're sad little dickheads afraid to talk to other human beings.

Does the JO in JOI stand for jerk off?

idk if anyone can top the dystopian spybot company being named palantir but a porno company naming their ai "Jack Off Instructions" is deffo in the running

So ‘male loneliness’ is just being horny with no outlet?!? That’s just being a teenager?

Masturbation is not a technological breakthrough.

The only thing naked the incels of yesteryear could masturbate to was the naked light bulb swinging from their mom's basement ceiling.

So dirty mags, a vibrator, or a porn movie is out of the question? Masturbation is a symptom of being human. Loneliness isn't that simple a topic, regardless of what aids might be used.

Umm, you could do that without AI and just give them girlie mags.

I know I’ve been saying “fuck AI” a lot, but this isn’t what I meant

Imagine starting an entire company just to cover for your wife looking at your search history.

This article is garbage because it doesn't even begin to explore how well this implementation of AI plays boardgames. www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhJW...

are you fucking kidding me

I’d like to see the job posting for this one, indeed!

They seem well in hands to me

What the fuck, Ai???

No way they called it Joi AI that’s peak

It's ALWAYS about their dick. Give me a break.😫

Uhh

What happened to “pick up a guitar” lol

Another bad day to be literate.

The metaphors write themselves.

And at the time I thought naming her JOI was a little TOO on the nose.

Probably, but Blu Ray had greater storage capacity, higher quality video and higher quality audio. I started with HD DVD, because it was already dead and the movies were dirt cheap. Almost 20 ears later, i ripped them all to my NAS and sold my HD-DVD drive for about the same amount as I bought it.

Porn drives technology.

Porn drives technology.

Right. But —- “it will improve healthcare and cure diseases!!!” 😳🤦‍♀️🤬

I'm not sure that's true. But every media technology ever invented was, quite soon after its creation, turned to the creation of pornography. One of the first motion-picture films was of young girls in nighties having a pillow fight. Pretty racy stuff for the 1890s.

Besides this not really helping loneliness, I'm more baffled I just read the sentence "hired to masturbate" interesting times to be in.

Jerking off to a fake human is going to make men less lonely? JFC.

$20 is $20 lol

Therapy would probably be more efficacious.

The Craigslist ad for this gig must have been insane. “Uh we got 30k applicants.. I don’t want to interview any of them— They can work remote right??“

Cooked beyond words

100% electronic.

Acoustic masturbation

“AI or having an actual partner? Hmmm…tough choice. Well I don’t feel like listening to what another person has to say or getting to know someone who might expand my horizons so I’m just gonna have a video game character “get naked” then tell me how big my D is and how irresistible I am” Lmao 🤡

Sorry - to be CLEAR! I had to know what AI suggests for FEMALE loneliness! phrase your question clearly. I once got the reply "PA. piranha fishing!! Am crushed by AI's answer to "do evil people have bad near death experiences, compared to good ones? NO.

you could have not written this story then i wouldn't have read this post.

No. No it can't. Not only do a lot of these need to learn how to act, we also need a rebirth of third places where people can just hang out and interact with strangers. You may find people you like there. Only human interaction will solve a loneliness problem.

Tech bros are just nasty.

Sample not randomly selected. Tiny sample size of 10. No control group. Outcome variable based on biased self-reports, not cognitive tests. The article points some of these out, but the whole point of this “study” was to get you to write articles like this to advertise their product, which you did.

Jesus Christ just get a dog you sick fvcks

I also think that for many men, our sex drives and our drive for love and friendhip are on completely different axes... so jerking off with an AI partner would likely solve a more primal issue and leave "loneliness" on the yet-to-be-solved list.

I think AI Chatbots (in any form) can only exacerbate loneliness for people of any gender... Anyone who has ever found themselves in an absurd argument with Copilot or Claude can tell you that. You come to find that you are arguing in a conversation of your own design + some corporate limitations.

The incels who create this AI certainly do.

Yep. "Male loneliness epidemic" = "Men might not get away with rape, and have to put in some minimal level of effort to get a partner".

Using the AI, I was feeling a little lonely. Then more lonely. Then VERY lonely. Then suddenly I lost my loneliness.

The ones who are actually people? No. Humans are almost always lonely.

I swear they think of friendship differently too.

Don’t believe so.

Similar to romance genre being dominated by female writers written for predominantly female audience. Might have a better understanding of what an audience of their own gender wants.

It's "Her" minus the cool post-scarcity LA apartments, transit, and dense urbanism.

You mean, people got paid for this too?

They'd have the same results watching porn. They're by themselves, rubbing one out.....and still lonely. All that changed was what they were watching. If you're male, and lonely, LOG OFF AND GO OUTSIDE. Go to Starbucks. There are actual people there and you can talk to them!

Great point

Having some admit it do be like that sometimes really helped me.

they were really just looking for someone to talk to about what it's like to jack off with an AI companion

The amount of money spent on this should have just been allocated towards therapy.

Not acting like abusive assholes might be worth a shot, too.

Riding into town for a poke and game of cards used to cure male loneliness.

Which Dark Mirror season is it now?

In some perverse way, I think that is how most religions started

Tech bros reinvent porn.

God this is fucking sad

Excuse me, is this The Onion?

🤣🤣🤣

Wanking to the 2026 equivalent of a tamagotchi isn't going solve male loneliness. Sounds like it's aimed at Silicon Valley where the weirdos who get up at 4am to sun their balls, eat Huel or whatever and compete to work latest can now have AI wank-time for a brief productivity boost.

Oh yeah! I remember reading this in Private Eye. It's a funny old world...

If the subjects are paying for it, it’s not a trial of any kind. And not on Sundays? Why? It’s just another bit of AI bollocks to push sex chatbots.

Considering the environmental damage from data centers, this is just insanely insane.