Captain Bubbles

I’ve been working on a new Health app. I wired up a local AI model that will generate original compliments or insults depending on what you log or don’t log. The only instruction is to “be as unhinged as possible”. The results might be bringing me too much joy / incentivizing the wrong behavior.

Look. I know #MarchMadness is all the rage, but I’m tired. Can we try March Sanity for a bit? Change it up. Keep it fresh.

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but… For every one asshole who just wants to watch the world burn, there are a thousand nerds who just want to share their bliss with you.

This is a big one folks! After years of hard work, we’re finally almost ready to launch our newest project: a social media app for bird watchers and geese enthusiasts. Get ready for HonkedIn!

I am beginning to think orange man bad

Cancelled my Disney+ Subscription for @jimmykimmel.com. Wasn’t going to re-enroll until I saw Jimmy’s face on my TV. Now, maybe I just won’t? Who the hell is making decisions over there? www.theverge.com/news/783489/...

Forgive me for working blue, but “Department of War” is pretty much the all time winner for compensatory small dick energy.

@reckless.bsky.social www.theverge.com/news/694877/... Does this change the annual @theverge.com printer recommendation?

@vox.com Get your shit together and make a deal with @voxmediaunion.bsky.social. You’re burning reputation by the day.

I’ve been saying this for years: only way anything this dude does makes any sense is drugs. Copious amounts of drugs.

The question of whether non-avian dinosaurs had penises remains unresolved.

OFFICIAL STATEMENT: If the Department of Justice forces Google to sell Chrome, I, Captain Bubbles of the East Blue, will buy it. I have a couple fresh Benjamins in my wallet and everything.

Shocked I haven’t heard them called “Schrödinger’s Tariffs”.

You can totally see how this mf bankrupted a casino.

@reckless.bsky.social is the hero we need right now.

World on fire, economy collapsing, I sit in my bunker and mutter to myself, "Nintendo Switch 2. Nintendo Switch 2. Nintendo Switch 2."

Keeping the neighborhood guessing with my new "Kids need all three parents" bumper sticker

Good morning from San Francisco

I, too, find that stealing being illegal hurts my ability to compete with China.

White people say the darnedest things.

I think we as a nation are, finally, ready to talk about Bruno.

@reckless.bsky.social Apple vs DALL-E3 “Zebra of many colors with anatomical incorrectness that represents how I’m feeling right now”

The best use of AI would be replacing Donald Trump with Patrick Stewart in Home Alone 2. And everything else.

It’s 11am on a Saturday. I have received 43 work emails this morning. Y’all need to fucking chill.

@mkbhd.com @davidimel.com @andrewmanganelli.bsky.social Can I get y’all’s Spotify Wrapped playlists? If the music on the channel is any indication, I’m expecting real bangers.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but… There are thousands of randomly generated license plates in the world with “W.A.P.” on them.