Casey Jarman

I can't imagine buying a house in a city I hated. This dude bought an entire fuckin NBA team. Billionaires, man... they really are a problem.

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t

Coaly D, has been stolen by the actual Trump administration. My prized creation, Coaly D, is the head of the radicoal.us Kids Club. "Coaly" is the admin's new mascot. The dumbest shit I could make up in five minutes to annoy friends is now an official AI art propaganda character. USA! USA!

"Kash, I need you to really troll Portland. Really do something that devastates their morale." "Oh I am on it, sir. I am going to take down their untouchable golden boy: that's right, I am arresting Universally Beloved sports coach... CHAUNCEY BILLUPS. The City of Roses will be a CITY OF TEARS!"

Anybody who uses the word "retribution" with a straight face is living in a Taken film, not a human-being type existence.

Finding myself sentimental for a time when I would overhear Portland REI bros sharing their very own bad sports takes over beers or coffees, instead of social media's bad sports takes. "We got Dame AND the players we traded him for, so it's really a win."

Now we take you live to Blazers Trade HQ.

This NBA Draft coverage by ESPN is utterly indistinguishable from The Hunger Games.

I ordered 120 blank cards and envelopes (from Michael's!) with the intent to send everyone on my birthday calendar a hand-drawn card this year. One down! I had just as much fun drawing on the back of the envelope as I did making the card.