chayalauer.bsky.social

26 Sept 2025

Replying to @pymundgenealogy.com

For the gazillionth time: any argument consisting of “the other side isn’t real” has zero chance of resulting in peace and only exists justify bad treatment and fuel extremist positions. Yes, this applies to everyone.

I have a ton of issues with the Foreign Ministry statement on Lander, which I’ve discussed in other posts. But I don’t have a problem saying that Lander travelled to a foreign country, because that’s exactly what he did. I want to discuss this more, so let’s me tell my story: 1/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

It’s telling that the Israel Foreign Ministry is saying Brad Lander, a proud and vocal Jewish person, traveled to a “foreign country.” When Israel wants the moral high ground of saying it speaks for all the Jews, it is all of our homeland. When we ask it to be better, it’s a foreign country to us.

that we aren’t American. They didn’t really understand how we don’t freeze to death, or that summers are hot. They’ve been alarmed at the antisemitism we face and imagine constant threat. Some have spoken about wanting to move, but not knowing where they could immigrate. So...I shake my head 16/

at a lot of what I read. The communities may both be Jewish, we may have strong bonds of kinship, friendship or history, but we aren’t the same. It doesn’t honor either one to pretend that we are. We have different experiences and concerns. They can’t speak for me, I can’t speak for them.

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

and Ethiopia while walking in Jerusalem. People in Toronto don’t talk to strangers in the street and ask personal questions. Or there was the time that we were standing in line silently at a bus stop, as Torontonians do, while everyone around us started a discussion/argument about our t-shirts. 14/

I’m about to visit again. I want to see our family and friends, for the first time since 7/10, and catch up on how things are going. I love them, but I don’t for a moment think that I can speak for them or over them. There are basic things that they don’t know about Canada. We had to explain 15/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

service, dealing with bureaucracy, speaking volume, etc. It’s not a question of better or worse, it’s just stuff that is different that you don’t even realize would be different until you experience it. I remember how I was confused when I realized my husband’s grandmother was speaking Arabic 12/

to her kids, how I didn’t recognize any of the food, how some of the basic stuff that I associated with being Jewish in my family of origin was different. And then I would tell stories to my family back in Toronto and suddenly realize that they made no sense, like how we met Jews from Moldova 13/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

So, even from a place of love, closeness and support, they will often tell us “you don’t understand” as they describe some problem to us. Even when my husband is being very Jewish and Zionist, they’ve seen him as naive and tell us about problems we’ve never considered, let alone encountered. 10/

There are times that makes them MORE critical of their government. There’s also just basic cultural stuff that different. We speak different languages, although we know enough of each other’s to communicate. There are different norms re child rearing, interacting with strangers, customer 11/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

from immigration and multiculturalism. His saw it from a country that would actively take in Jews and not have a scenario where neighbors would turn on them overnight. Our main concern has been living as a 1% minority, so being alert to antisemitism and securing rights and relationships 8/

has been my family’s constant preoccupation. Especially coming from Montreal, there was a distrust of nationalism and a constant “is it time to leave?”. The Israeli cousins had different issues. Wars. Terrorism. Schisms that threatened to tear their society apart. Economic challenges. 9/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

My husband and I attended my family reunion years ago. I noticed his eyes tearing up as we got to a display of family photos from the 1930s. As it suddenly hit me, I told him it was okay, the family was all in Montreal when those photos were taken so nobody was killed. To him, photos of Jews 6/

in the 1930s were inevitably followed by “and only 1 survived the Holocaust”. So, the over-stories for our families were different. Mine was saved by a place taking in everyone from Europe. His couldn’t come here, but those who survived were saved by Israel rescuing them. My family saw safety 7/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

We don’t have that with Israel. Our cousins can vote or run for office there or attend weekly protests. We can’t. Canada literally saved my family, and together with the U.S. the open-door immigration policy until the 1920s for Europeans saved the community. I’m grateful for that. I also know 4/

that most of those who didn’t leave before the doors to immigration slammed shut were killed. Canada saved my family, but wouldn’t save them. My in-laws ended up in Israel, because it wasn’t safe to stay in the countries where they were born and Israel was the place that took them in. 5/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

in Israel every few years since 1989. I’ve become very close to his family in Israel. But it is because of that closeness that I recognize my background and my life are different. Being close doesn’t mean being the same. My kids are all in professional programs at university. 2/

Unlike their Israeli cousins, they didn’t serve in the army. That alone is a huge difference, for both them and us. We vote here and get involved in Canadian politics and government. Obviously, no single voter can control everything and we don’t always get what we want, but we have some impact. 3/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

We are a Jewish bi-cultural family. My great-grandparents were Fiddler on the Roof Jews, all of whom fled Eastern Europe for Canada between 1903 and 1910. My husband’s parents fled to Israel as young children, from Poland and Iraq, and came to Canada in the 1960s. We’ve visited his large family 1/

nytimes.comWhen Idaho Banned Abortion, OB-GYNs Fled. The Doctors Who Stayed Are Cracking.From childbirth to miscarriages, women’s health care in the state has become increasingly dangerous.

Another utterly predictable effect of punitive abortion laws. We said that this would happen, the warnings were ignored. Those laws aren’t about safeguarding life, they are at best a demand for the state to enforce beliefs about life beginning at conception.

Jessica Valenti@jessicavalenti.bsky.social

You should read every word of this piece. www.nytimes.com/2026/10/20/m...

pbs.orgMan gets life for raping 9-year-old who sought abortionA man who confessed to raping and impregnating a 9-year-old Ohio girl has been sentenced to life in prison in a case that became a national flashpoint on abortion rights because the girl had to travel...

Just remembered the case of the 10 yr old pregnant rape victim who couldn’t get an abortion in Ohio and had to travel to Indiana. www.pbs.org/newshour/amp... That’s what Operations Rescue wanted. Forced pregnancy and birth for children, who will forever be smeared if they dare report their abuse.

Jane Coaston@janecoaston.bsky.social

Remember, this is the BEST POSSIBLE VERSION of the story Acton's estranged mother can give. (and the source is... telling www.operationrescue.org/ohio-health-...)

Operation Rescue decided to fight abortion by (checks notes) attacking a victim of child sexual abuse with a video of her estranged mother taking the side of the child molester. It’s the opposite of valuing life, and shows their true motivation.

Jane Coaston@janecoaston.bsky.social

Remember, this is the BEST POSSIBLE VERSION of the story Acton's estranged mother can give. (and the source is... telling www.operationrescue.org/ohio-health-...)

complains that her 12 yr old daughter’s outfit at court wasn’t “age appropriate“. Again, this woman thought it was appropriate to leave her daughter with a man previous accused of child sexual abuse and to take his side when her daughter disclosed. But the child must be blamed and discredited. 4/

THIS is why I don’t trust folks who declare that they would kill PDFiles and want to go after Those People. If you can’t identify obvious risks and protect kids when the abuser is close to you and has power, your empty declarations mean nothing and you just care about authority.

Jane Coaston@janecoaston.bsky.social

Remember, this is the BEST POSSIBLE VERSION of the story Acton's estranged mother can give. (and the source is... telling www.operationrescue.org/ohio-health-...)

As a child protection lawyer who has had too many cases like this, it’s beyond disgusting and openly enables child sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter if the estranged mother has a degree in psychology. That doesn’t qualify her to assess her daughter. 2/

The woman admits that there was a previous complaint of child sexual abuse against her husband from his daughter. That wasn’t enough for her to avoid exposing her daughter to him. Then when her daughter disclosed, she still sided with the abuser. She has to somehow slur the victim, so she 3/

jta.orgIsraeli think tank: Israel’s policies are making life harder for Jews abroad - Jewish Telegraphic AgencyJewish leaders told researchers that the conflict is fueling antisemitism, dividing their communities and weakening their ability to advocate for Israel.

1. Israel’s concern for diaspora Jewish communities basically consists of enabling them to flee to Israel. 2. Israel’s politicians don’t answer to diaspora Jews, who neither vote nor pay taxes to Israel, and don’t really care what they think. Why would they? 1/

Joel S.@joelhs.bsky.social

Israeli think tanks are out here saying things that the ADL would call you antisemitic for saying in the United States. www.jta.org/2026/10/18/i...

3. If Jew haters think that diaspora Jews have some sort of magic power over Israel’s actions, they are ignorant and divorced from reality. Their brain damage is not my responsibility. 4. As a Canadian Jew, I hold my own government responsible for my safety. Netanyahu isn’t my prime minister. 2/

I know this sounds blunt, but it’s true. Different communities have different interests and perspectives. Yes, there are some family, ancestral, religious or cultural ties between us. But I constantly see a sort of blindness to the idea that one community doesn’t answer to the other.

@nexusproject.bsky.social

Great response! It also brilliantly captures part of what I have found so upsetting about constant demands that random Jews disavow “Zionism” and excusing of violence against us.

Abdul El-Sayed@abdulelsayed.bsky.social

This is Tommy. Tommy had a question about my allegiances. Listen to the end to hear about his.

chayalauer.bsky.social reposted

The Nexus Project

We are horrified by this plot and relieved no one was hurt. We stand with Hindu and Indian Americans. No one should fear being murdered at prayer. The white supremacist behind it targeted Jews and Black people too, as often happens. Showing up for others is how we protect ourselves.

cnn.comTeen accused of plotting mass shooting at Chicago-area Hindu temple | CNNPolice in a Chicago suburb announced Wednesday that they had thwarted a potential mass shooting, arresting a 19-year-old man who they said may have planned to target a Hindu place of worship.

Attention language geeks: Are there languages other than Yiddish that have a word to describe the relationship that the parents of each spouse have with each other? I talk about my mechutunim because it’s a word instead of a whole sentence.

Happy belated ”it’s a Canadian statutory holiday after a month of Jewish holidays where I hosted dinner for 60 people and then got invited to a zillion homes, Girl2 and I celebrated our birthdays, we enjoyed a day in the country seeing fall colours and why would I do yet another big dinner at home?”

Bonus point for: 4. Claim that “the biased mainstream media won’t report this”. 5. Claim of who is to blame, before it is actually determined.

KateLynne@bigideakate.bsky.social

How to spot an untrue social media post. 1. It always start with who it happened to: a reliable friend, their sister-in-law’s cousin’s neighbor, etc 2. It never gives the town or state it happened in so you can’t google it to check out the claim. 3. It ends with a of warning to “watch out for”.

PSA: I wish everyone could be mindful that Cornell discussions are going to be hard and bring up feelings for a lot of women, who may not have disclosed anything, and how you react may show that you are safe or further traumatize them. Also, not disclosing to unsafe folks is a valid choice.

#abortion #fetalrights #law #Canada My kid and I were discussing this Supreme Court of Canada case from 1999, which denied a child the right to sue its mother for prenatal injuries. Worthwhile reading for the rejection of “fetal protection”, but also a weird case because it meant no insurance. 1/

Apparently the law school class has been vigorously debating it, and split totally along gender lines. I think it makes for interesting read to see a different approach from the U.S.

19thnews.orgTierra Walker died after she couldn’t get an abortion. Her family is suing Ken PaxtonThe case, filed Tuesday, argues that Texas’ near-total abortion ban violates the state and U.S. Constitutions, which “prohibit state actors from killing their citizens.”

16 Sept

Once more: narrow exceptions for the life of the mother don’t actually work. In medicine, the point is that you don’t want things to get so bad that someone’s life is at immediate risk, because you might not be able to save them at that point.

Shefali Luthra@shefali.bsky.social

Big news: The family of Tierra Walker, who died after she couldn't get an abortion, is suing a slate of Texas actors in state court, including AG Ken Paxton. They say the state ban is unconstitutional. This is the first suit of its kind. 19thnews.org/2026/09/texa...

chayalauer.bsky.social reposted

Amadi Lovelace

@amaditalks.bsky.social

15 Sept

More people need to embrace "I don't know enough to speak about this topic properly and I don't have the time to learn enough about it to do so" when it's the truth.

14 Sept

Nobody chooses where they are born or who their parents are. Countries like Canada and the US have laws against discrimination on the basis of national origin for a reason. Don't like what a foreign government is doing? Fine. You still can't discriminate against people here, who came from there. 1/

14 Sept

I find it utterly horrifying that this idea, which should be foundational in a multi-ethnic liberal democracy, is so easily ignored by people who should know better. If you say that rights only exist except if you are really mad and think you are right, then rights don't really exist. 2/

14 Sept

Along the same lines: imposing an extra burden, where everyone from a certain background has to jump through hoops because they are assumed to be an evil threat until proven otherwise? Also harmful and illegal! There's no *except for people from countries I really hate.

10 Sept

Don River.

Isaac (proud small hat wearer) Gantwerk Mayer@isaacgantwerkmayer.bsky.social

RT with your home river: the san diego river

9 Sept

Logging off until after the holidays, so Shana Tova in advance. In addition to hosting 60 people over 2 nights, my FIL took a turn for the worse and I got a “help, my dad fell and mom can’t lift him” call from husband today, so I dealt with that. Also have urgent work stuff due today.