the lost city of cheldorado

Buddy comedy about Bolsonaro & Netanyahu being roommates in Cheltenham after fleeing to America.

Arab men with eyeliner are peak.

Donald Trump getting high with his bestie Jeffrey Epstein: "Jeffe, I'm freakin' out. I wanna be president. But they say you gotta kiss a lot of babies. I've never kissed a baby. You gotta help me figure this out!" "Donnie, chill. Igotchu. When have I ever let you down?"

The moment a youtuber compares a nation's spending on pensions & retirements to the US as if they are fucking up by spending more than us, I downvote every video of theirs that comes across my feed. Raise the retirement age? Fuck you.

Hold up. Why does it look like Tanner McKee is taking shots of fireball on the sideline?

They are showing cowboys superbowl highlights during an Eagles home game. You can't convince me that the NFL doesn't hate Philadelphia. I sincerely believe they do.

Don't ever bitch about Jason Kelce being in a few commercials. Its an Eagles home game being called by Aikman, a former Cowboy, with constant shots of Irvin, former cowboy, dancing around with the owner of the cowboys. This has been football my entire life. Shove the Kelces down America's throat.

Bsky, what do you store your HRT in? Jalen Hurts metal lunchbox loaded with needles lmao

Saying the Birds should trade Barkley & start Pierce the rest of the year based on playing Dallas is an AI brained take.

Jerry Jones protested against desegregation. If he's on my screen he better look like he just saw a black girl reading a book.

Arch Manning would be the perfect replacement for Dak.

Coop having a down year means we don't have to pretend he doesn't have the most boring off field personality ever anymore.

Fuck you, Troy Aikman. Keep talking shit.

Saquon Barkley's lil bounce before he gallops is adorable & makes me smile.

Jazz saxophonist anthem? Is it too late to change my pick to Philadelphia

Sirianni to McKee during the pregame: "I read the pamphlets you've been leaving on my desk. Tonight, you're Joseph Smith & the receivers are the gold plates. Can you find those gold plates for us tonight, Tanner?" "You do that & after the game we'll all put milk in our Gatorade to celebrate."

The first level of hell is using a phone without a pop socket.

Lmfao

Bluesky has eight kinds of users

Nicki Minaj as press secretary would be the funniest thing ever. Pls let this rumor be true. The next 2 years are going to be the dumbest in American history.

Joining ABC's TGIF lineup this fall: Depressed or Constipated? A new gameshow for people over the age of 30!

Handing out mini bags of fritos to kids on Halloween & telling them fritos are made from the paws of unloved puppies. "Don't believe me? Smell your dogs paws when you get home" *cackling as the door closes behind me*

Noticed in my teens that everyone who went to the cheesecake factory was from the kind of family that looked down on mine. So I've never gone to one. I forgot they existed until yesterday. Realizing a lot of my life long decisions are based purely on vibes. No trace of rational thought here.

A monster that eats bones & pisses jello.

Imagine sitting here with a dapper fella & an SUV with blue headlights is stuck at a red light across from it

Peak male fashion.

Getting proposed to with a diamond would be devastating. Diamonds are the landlord eggshell white paint of the stone world. Give me Alexandrite or some deep green stone.

This website forces me to be aware of liberty biberty.

this is crazy I miss being bored so much lol

The Philadelphia Eagles have won 2 superbowls.

Until this moment I thought Ethan Klein & Ezra Klein were the same person.

I love pirate sites that show how many people are currently watching a show. 1,200 people are watching the new JoJos right now? Who says monoculture is dead?

For Halloween I'm gonna be someone's mom that was slutty in the 80s but exclusively for keytar players. Gonna wear a necklace of random keytar buttons. If anyone asks I'll point at one, name an obscure keytarist, bite my lip, & wink.

Extreme birders call themselves chasers. In the first minute some guy from Michigan says he's from the chaser community.

There's a cybertruck with jersey plates parked outside. Holy fucking shit it looks stupid.

Spoke with someone named Goddess today & another person named Innocent. There's an above 0% chance I died & am currently in the spirit world. It feels exactly like the living one but there's signs for those willing to see the.

"It was everything that I dreamed of and more." LeBron James reflects on the home crowd’s energy through the highs and lows of the Sixers’ comeback win.

You couldn't pay me to step foot in Texas. If the worst day of your life happens there, the state will kill you because that's what Jesus would do. Evidence be damned.

I love seeing the mutuals this euphoric.

The Hurts mural in my neighborhood got some love

The Amy Acton situation is one of my worst fears. Every time I feel ambitious, my mind is flooded with visions of this happening to me. Seeing Vivek eat shit would be cathartic.

Oh no! Jared Kushner & Saudi Arabia won't be making the new Mass Effect or Dragon Age. Surely they would have ushered in a golden age to both franchises!

I have zero text conversations but 2-3 multiple hour phone calls a week. Life hasn't turned out the way I expected it.

In Hyrule, twinks add dorf at the end of their name. Upon twink death, they shed the dorf.

Guy that pronounces it Cheeses Teak.

No one worth listening to has ever uttered the phrase, "my views haven't changed."