Chuck Gamble (USCndaATL)

Report: New York Mayor Zohran Mandami announced he will impose Sangria Law. All New Yorkers will be forced to go to brunch on Sundays and drink fruity wines and eat Belgian waffles.

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social A Diner in Youngstown has become a hard place to find Dem voters, but over a bowl of oatmeal, you can hear rumbles of how Ukraine bombing Russia is the reason why diesel is so expensive.

It’s called a line, maybe you’ve blurred of it.

Katie Zacharia lasted shorter than my last migraine.

It’s called cattle ranching, maybe you’ve herd of it.

A Time to Kill for Tax Purposes

In case any Republican Senators are confused, today’s Hawks-Bucks game is being played in Iowa City and not Atlanta.

It’s Fall, y’all.

The part about lifelong Conservative Republican was already assumed and completely unnecessary to add.

My camper

Taylor Swift films one 3 minute sketch with the cast of SVU, and it gets studied and broken down with more conspiracy theories than the Zapruder film.

Patrick Mahomes seems healthy.

Make a band edible: Captain Crunch and Tenille

I’m guessing ole Lane shouldn’t have done that Fansville commercial.

Bitches, I bring my Z-game 24/7.

Milo getting arrested by ICE is both the funniest and most embarrassing thing I’ve seen all day.

How it feels to follow me.

We are stuck in a bad Time Warp.

Don’t vortex me, bro.

Trump can’t stop borrowing from Taylor Swift.

Without saying your age what is your favorite movie from the year you turned 18

Taylor Swift knows the difference between Cover 2 and Cover 4. Donald Trump didn’t know what a red card was until two weeks ago.

Even better, Kent State plays South Carolina on Week One—-at Noon. Yes, I’m that guy…

Ain’t no one gonna miss him.

This woman says she had a 20 minute conversation with Mitch McConnell today.

Any South Carolina fan knows how this feels.

Malik Tillman has a cannon for a leg.

The White House called FIFA to undo the suspension of an American soccer player who is only on the team because of Birthright Citizenship. Let that sink in.

Ball don’t lie, bitches.

Imagine if they called that red card in Knoxville.

Lionel Mpasi would look really good in an Atlanta United jersey.

You can go home.

You’ve backed your last nickel.

You’ve Collected your last Soul.

You’ve topped your last zz.

Wait. Was the courthouse at Appomattox not available?

Russia’s war with Ukraine has now lasted 1548 days, which is the same length of all of World War I.

Can we make Dozing Donnie trend?

Texas Chainsaw Misogynist

Brooks and Dunn's agent team

Introduce yourself with 10 bands/musicians you’ve seen live Kiss (original line up) Aerosmith U2 Metallica Prince Eddie Money ZZ Top Garth Brooks Jimmy Buffett Bon Jovi

Biology professors overwhelmingly believe in evolution over creationism. Damn liberals.

JD trying to mansplain theology to the Pope is next level hypocrisy.

Imagine telling a guy who was born and raised on Chicago’s South Side that he’s weak on crime.

Donald Trump is mentally unstable and off the reservation right now. And there is no one in DC with the power and willingness to rein him in and stop it.

hmm

CPAC has more empty seats than a Maryland football game.

To the Iranian intelligence agents monitoring my inbox: Can you pay my bills when the appear there? Also, enjoy my Amazon delivery updates.