vampire private BOO-tective

27 May

The queer equivalent of being invited to the cookout is being invited to the LGBTBBQ.

10h

Not everything has to be praxis. Your love life doesn't have to be praxis.

10h

Obviously don't fuck Republicans, but beyond that, once you're in a romantic partnership with someone you should no longer see each other first as representatives of your respective demographics, at least not in the context of your own private interpersonal culture, conflicts, power dynamics, etc.

10h

Relationships are not allegories.

12h

Had a frank yet respectful debate with my mostly sympathetic boss. Until otherwise informed I'm to give him the option of taking off the jacket or shopping elsewhere. I made it clear I think even that's too permissive, but for now I'll take it as a win I get to confront him at all (and keep my job).

vampire private BOO-tective@colindweir.bsky.social

Was just repulsed to learn a Nazi punk (mohawk, camo pants, swastika on his leather jacket) was in my store yesterday. ME: Why didn't anyone kick him out?! COWORKER 1: I'd have been too scared to, I'm not gonna lie. COWORKER 2: I wasn't scared. I talked to him and his mom for a while about teas.

11h

Of course I had Picard in my head the whole time.

14h

A serial killer strategically placing soaked rags around the neighborhood like ant traps.

DoubleTrouble@badboybill69.bsky.social

Pumpkin Spice Chloroform

14h

1) The monster represents a physical threat, which offers not only a kinky, erotic thrill but protection from the monsters who don't love you. 2) The monster is an outcast, so coupling with one means rejecting society and its oppressive rules and restrictions. Both more relevant to women than men.

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15h

15h

Like that's something to fucking brag about.

My girlfriend’s a World War Three soldier. I told her it’s actually just more World War Two, but she insists it’s its own thing.

alexis simpson is confused by display name changes@amutepiggy.bsky.social

World War One was the pee war. World War Two was the poo one

My cell phone charger is at that stage wherein the phone only charges if the charger has a certain kink in it and it occurs to me that many of us are like cell phones in this way.

Make whatever moral compromises you feel you must, but you're doing no good by scolding and demeaning those unwilling to so compromise. You're only venting hostility for your own gratification. It's only destructive. It disheartens. These folks are as passionate and sincere in their altruism as you.

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Every once in a while I remember that a guy I knew briefly in college is now a mid-level comedy writer and that I was at that time the most chaotically weird and self-unaware I've ever been and I wonder if any of my more absurd or humiliating faux pas or stunts have made it into any of his work.

boxd.itA ½ review of The Bride! (2026)I once knew a girl who sewed naked and dismembered Barbie dolls, smudged with red paint to simulate blood, to her old t-shirts and walked the halls of our high school every day looking somehow both su...

It just occurred to me that this film, which so clearly thinks of itself as so radical and so punk rock, qualifies as copaganda.

vampire private BOO-tective@colindweir.bsky.social

My review of THE BRIDE! It begins like a limerick. This was unintentional.

Bixlee, Lifelong Wisconsin Brewers Fan@bixlee.bsky.social

it's piss, mostly

lemonde.fr'Donald Trump goes further than the eccentric scientist from 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.' He is shrinking America'The US president's decision to assist Vladimir Putin in his war against Ukraine – most notably with the diesel fuel deal – marks the latest chapter in his ongoing campaign to dismantle America's superpower status, analyzes Le Monde columnist Alain Frachon.

Does this journalist not know there are several villains from '80s movies actually based on Donald Trump?

Le Monde in English@english.lemonde.fr

'Donald Trump goes further than the eccentric scientist from 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.' He is shrinking America'

boxd.itA ★★★★½ review of The Shining (1980)Every time I watch this, I’m struck anew by what an absolute and unmitigated loser Jack Torrence is. Even at his most animalistic, even backed by the full faith and credit of a nontemporal, omnicorpor...

My thoughts on Jack Torrence from THE SHINING. (I break out the Yiddish, that's how much I hate this guy.)

@horrorfilms101.bsky.social

My review of THE BRIDE! It begins like a limerick. This was unintentional.

vampire private BOO-tective reposted

James “Vamp” Fleet

Glick: (high) now talk to me about— talk about (low) Theranos. Holmes: Of course, where would you want to start? Glick: did he ever collect all those magic space gems?

Scare-ed Skullnick@jaredskolnick.bsky.social

YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING but she contacts Jiminy Glick instead of Fielder

Imagine dying and ascending to the nontemporal, extradimensional state of perpetual euphoria that is your reward and a bunch of Lincoln Project Boomers start hectoring you about whether you spent your cosmic blip of an existence helping your tribe of monkeys take over their cosmic speck of a planet.

Philip Bump@pbump.com

Even if this were viable as a concept (that there's an afterlife; that it allows conversations with others; that enslavers are going the same place as you), who cares? Oh, are you mad at me, Ben Franklin? Tough shit.

Thought this furry was getting a blowjob from a frizzy haired gal.

Turns out he’s just riding a very angry bull. Still pretty erotic if you’re into that sort of thing (a furry).

Post you from a different era If we’re posting ourselves at our coolest…

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“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” -Kurt Vonnegut

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Jesus Christ. Why are these people so horrified by the concept of playing pretend? And more to the point, how are they so utterly self-unaware? They cosplay as Idiocracy characters literally every fucking day!

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"Now the mind of the writer’s wife was with It, in It, beyond the end of the macroverse; in the darkness beyond the Turtle; in the outlands beyond all lands. She was in Its eye; she was in Its mind. She was in the deadlights."

Reuters Pictures@pictures.reuters.com

Lights are reflected off a bulletproof screen as President Trump speaks during a campaign rally in Greenville, North Carolina. More photos of the week: reut.rs/4yGkBNh 📷 Evan Vucci

Just accidentally clicked on a grokipedia link, now I feel like I need a shower with a steel wool loofa.

Is it even a proper Italian meal if you haven’t got gravy on your white wife beater?

them*

vampire private BOO-tective@colindweir.bsky.social

They said “I don’t mean to be anti-equality, but she was so feminine and soft and tender sometimes, and then would just turn in a dime.” I reminded her that being soft and tender sometimes and then turning on a dime was typical of abusers of any gender.

A friend just ended a 4-year relationship and revealed their partner was physically abusive the whole time. They asked me, “How can a woman be so abusive?” My friend is AFAB femme nonbinary and their now ex is a trans woman. As a result, I feel out of my depth. But then, so, apparently, were they.

After all, religious studies and theology are separate disciplines for a reason.

As are hydrology and ichthyology.

I don’t expect my friend to know better merely because they are genderqueer and woke, mind you. They also have an MA in sociology. And yet they are apparently capable of such naivety and even conservatism when it comes to their own social and romantic relationships. Aren’t we all.

Still I can’t help but wonder if the attitude that we ought to defer to the queer when it comes to the subject of queerness—or, say, women when it comes to the subjects of femininity and misogyny, or conversely, men when it comes to the subjects of masculinity and misandry—isn’t woefully simplistic.

Where do we go from here? How can I not despair when I am confronted time and time again with the reality that even those who are supposed to be the most enlightened and educated as to all the intersecting variables and nuances of sex, gender and sexuality are so hopelessly biased and indoctrinated?

What do we do when the abuser/oppressor in an interpersonal relationship is lower on the privilege hierarchy than their victim? When, indeed, that abuser/oppressor is a victim of abuse and oppression by the state? Which form of victimization takes precedence? Whom do we protect? And at what cost?

Then they told me they had never called the police on their abusive ex because they protect trans women.

My initial response was to say “because she was socialized as a man.” Then I remembered I have known cis women who were abusive.

politico.comFEMA tells states to handle disasters on their ownThe Trump administration plans to cut disaster aid in as few as six months and shift responsibility to states, FEMA's administrator said in remarks obtained by POLITICO.

Wow... Dave Bautista's Waluigi is a fucking asshole.

Kyle Griffin@kylegriffin1.bsky.social

BREAKING: Trump's head of FEMA just told states to prepare to handle disasters on their own. The Trump admin's disaster chief told state officials they must increase their financial reserves and emergency capabilities to handle most disasters on their own — without federal help.

trib.alJames Bond producer shares update on 007 casting: ‘It’s going to be really different’‘We are being really, really methodical,’ Bond producer said of finding next 007

He's American now, cause Amazon is an American company that makes American products for American people.

The Independent@the-independent.com

James Bond producer shares update on 007 casting: ‘It’s got to be really different’

boxd.itA ★★★★★ review of The Matrix (1999)My god, it’s full of cascading green glyphs… I first saw The Matrix as an 11-year-old boy, arguably the perfect intersection of age and gender at which to see it (or so I thought into adulthood, but w...

My review of THE MATRIX. It's been a favorite since I was a kid, and accordingly this review is at least as much memoir as it is critical analysis. And as always, if you'd prefer just the customary droll one-liner, here it is: "My god, it's full of cascading green glyphs..."

And if it's hot takes you're interested in, here's the lede: THE MATRIX is about media literacy.

I often wear a graphic tee that features a cartoon chicken wearing a powdered wig and saying (via a speech bubble) "Bach." It is surprising and demoralizing how many people I have to explain it to. I have no doubt Elon Musk would be one of those people.

K. Thor Jensen@kthorjensen.bsky.social

grok what would a smart guy say

Understandable he didn't know Shakespeare's name was William. People hardly ever say it. He's like Zendaya that way.

Shakespeare was the Zendaya of playwrights.

K. Thor Jensen@kthorjensen.bsky.social

grok what would a smart guy say

Still pretty impressive he knows all three of his names though!