Grushko

Israeli elections are just there to decide who gets to blackmail the US president into fighting Israel's next illegal war. That's literally the job role.

Pretty pleased with my first day as head of Google Cloud Services.

I’m no conspiracy theorist but have you ever wondered why there are so many conspiracy theories? Makes you think.

Strange how all of these Reform characters keep turning out to be racists. Of course, it’s too early to say if there’s a pattern developing. Just bad luck I suppose.

Put a trillion dollars into the hands of a stupid teenage boy and this is exactly the sort of crap he'd spend it on

BREAKING: President Trump has told the BBC he won't use a nuclear weapon on Iran. This means he is definitely gonna use a nuclear weapon on Iran 👀

418,986 professionally qualified accountants in the UK and the Republic of Ireland, about 28,000 in ROI. UK has the highest number of accountants per capita in the world. Dud audits, fraud, fiddles, tax abuse rife. Wasted social investment, damaging the UK economy, focus on short term returns.

I keep reading that 'nobody should be forced to pay for the BBC'. Meanwhile, I'm forced to pay for the royal family, nuclear weapons, religiously-affiliated schools and the House of Lords.

Different press sec same bullshit

It seems that Nigel Farage has taken the hint and has decided to spend more time in his constituency of Clacton. So much so that he has bought a new house for himself and his family in the local area:

BREAKING: Andy Burnham has confirmed that those lads nicking diesel near RAF Fairford were actually terrorists sent by Israel, I mean Iran, and this is why police released them on bail 👀

Pretty pleased with my first day as head of cybersecurity at ASOS.

The BBC is determined to ask every supporter of Zionism if Zionism is racism. Unfortunately it can't ask the victims of Zionism because they were all killed by Israel.

Last night I flipped my car at 90 mph. We all got out covered in blood, but we don't have a scratch on us. Weirdly a cup of water was still in the holder and hadn't spilled a drop. We immediately ran to Netanyahu and hugged him in front of cameras before we got cleaned up 👍

There now seems no doubt we're dealing with a false flag www.councilestatemedia.uk/p/here-is-wh...

A sad, lonely woman jilted by her brash lover is left to wile away the empty hours in an isolated flat in Dubai. After consuming yet another vodka her mind wanders & she types out far fetched fantasies desperately seeking attention & solace. Please could someone call a doctor.😬

Mr Tommo’s local vicar in front of his church ‘Are Blessid Laydee and All Are Souls.’

“Metropolitan Police on the blower, Nige”

Between Trump’s AI slop content and every Republican being on Grindr the Texas power grid doesn’t stand a chance.

Kneel before the might of… SPACE LIBERACE!!

Call me crazy, but I'm starting to think it wasn't a good idea to embed Palantir in literally every aspect of British infrastructure

Looks like the undertaker has made an early start.

Dislocation, Dislocation, Dislocation.

So glad to have had my eyes opened to the lies peddled by the fake news media. I’m now able to believe absolutely everything and anything I see from any source online.

I could take up a new profession and become a rabidly opinionated right-wing frother, raving against minorities for the big bucks - but unfortunately I have a conscience.

Poorly timed notification from the range there 🤦🏻‍♀️

20 US cities/municipalities sue private equity firms for making firefighting unaffordable. PE bought fire truck manufacturing, closed some factories, created scarcity, doubled/tripled prices. PE has devoured UK high street, vets, care homes, supermarkets, housing. What next? archive.ph/0OC2Ut

It’s been very hot since the eclipse. Makes you think.

Hi there, here's some things you might want to know about ai

Reform UK at the moment…

John Cleese’s common sense is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It’s bereft of life, it rests in peace. ☹️

Big changes ahead in government today as people nobody has heard of are replaced with people no one has heard of.

"Larry likes his breakfast at 9, brunch at 1030 and lunch at noon with plenty of snacks in between. The rest of the job is a doddle"

"I know what a pain Andys can be..."

Updated my profile. Again.

Another one bites the dust.

Hydration break

Welcome to the most important job you'll ever have @andyburnham.bsky.social Cartoon brilliance by @bjennings90.bsky.social for @theguardian.com

At least we don’t have to listen to wonderwall.

Où est @frenchtone, ce chauve de merde qui bouffe des escargots ?

The Spanish PM should be on the podium to collect the World Cup trophy from Trump, and then stove the old paedo’s head in with it before doing the lap of honour