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hey man nice university alumni license plate frame did they teach not turning on your blinker while you were there

inventing a new guy that thinks high speed rail is as easy to implement as slapping up a data center inside of an already existing warehouse

me fighting for my life on the toilet: oouugg Houghhh Ooouuuuuu apple watch: You’ve reached another hour of your stand goal!

when i saw wildwood i knew right wing freaks would get mad about the movie being woke & i’m finally seeing some now… why would people be freaking out? 1. someone uses a they pronoun once 2. two background lesbian characters hug for less than 3 seconds THEY CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!

how it felt watching you can see everything and my entire theater was loudly laughing every few minutes like it’s a comedy

i went to moid and everyone knew you

Weird looking dog got loose!!! doesnt even have a collar. im going to take him home

white people love their custom emoji reactions

“this application has hung and will now close” ok sure but what does the application being hung have to do with it. And where is the proof

i found out my coworker i’ve worked with for years lives down the street from me, which is almost as crazy as the time i found out my friend i’ve bhopped with on counter strike for 5+ years lives 10 minutes from me

eternal damnation or double it and give it to the next person

Starting a fund raiser So i can raise some funds… Each tier unlocks as i get donations… Thank you.. $1 - i jack my dick off $5 - i jack off 2 times $10 - I jack off but really fast this time $25 - I jack off and cum $50 - i jack off in an offputting uncomfortable style $100 - i jack off sexy style

cannot fucking stand when a musician only releases singles. Put all that shit together in an album right now you motherfucker. if i don’t get to listen to it as a completed project on loop and sit through 4 songs i don’t really care for 280 separate times i’ll kill myself

white people dont even say like a boss or awesome sauce anymore

white people dont even root their android phones anymore

white people dont even *glomps you* anymore

White people don’t even say pawing off or yiff yiff yiff anymore

real post nut clarity is seeing this after jacking off for 2 hours. why am i like this. it’s so over

game developers: hey guys here’s our minimum requirements to run our game guy that’s on a decade old mid-tier build and can’t let it go: WTF WTF WTF WTF

astral projecting into my soft comfy warm bed at home while it’s pouring outside and nodding off at work

weed as a treatment for anxiety (for me), is less of a treatment and more of an anxiety replacement. it gets rid of my Real life anxiety, my obligations, how much my life and the world sucks, etc. by distracting me with the fear that the fog is coming. What was that noise. did anyone else hear that

ate a delicious healthy lunch (greek/mediterranean food), drank 2 bottles of water so far today, slept well, and i’m feeling great. Time to balance this all out with a cigarette

“gut” is such a fucking sexy word to describe a belly. like yep, there sure is guts in there. A lot of them. why are there so many.. can i check them out

your birthday as an adult is saying “oh we’ll go out to dinner to celebrate later” and then half a year passes, you never went and suddenly your boyfriend’s birthday is coming up so you get to do a birthday dinner collab

The woke left mob wants to take away consuming 1000mg of caffeine in 24 hours

after being boxed in by a coworker i love dearly, i carefully avoided their car and clipped the pillar behind me by about an inch. i got out worried i might’ve damaged my lights.. but then i remembered the bumper is like.. For bumping. and i did that shit. Now i’ll just bump into everything

debt collectors love to be like “We’ll give you a 20% reduction 😍” Yeah man i’m actually more thinking a 99% reduction and you gag on my dick until you puke on it

watching a friend go through AI psychosis is crazy because it’s kind of like regular psychosis except they feel even more convinced of their delusions somehow. can’t we just go back to the OG like Jesus spoke to me and said type shit. at least that’s somehow less gay than Yeah well chatgpt told me,

yeat dropped fortnite merch so i had to buy these. potentially the best shirts ever created?

you can tell tiktok furries genuinely think they deserve to live

bad dragon for the past decade be like NEW DROP INCOMING 12PM PST - OUR 18TH HUMAN DICK WITH THE WEAKEST KNOT YET

bro can you not show me your dick like that. it reminds me of how i lost my cock in the Penis explosion war

my nearly brand new ps5 controller already has stick drift but my ps5 controller i got on launch in 2020 that is worn as fuck and i’ve used for thousands of hours has absolutely no issue. didn’t realize sony added it as a feature now, guess they’ve been inspired by nintendo

i might just have to

seeing multiple americans be like “the UK Banning incest and choking And abdl is based we need to do it next 😍” while we have a fat orange pedophile in office

oh that’s a uncensored giant sweaty asshole on my timeline AI moderation didn’t flag

underground rapper after sampling sample of his mom saying how proud she is of him: Now throw that pussy on this dick, throw it to the side, pussy Frankenstein, she came back alive, had to get inside

You can’t even get shitfaced at universal and fight security without having a notification blasted to 4,100 people anymore. because of woke

Every time a random replies to you on this website it’s the stupidest shit anyone in existence has ever said. the average bluesky user is the reason my car’s sun shade has a REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING tag

I fucking hate toilets with sensor flushers. im still sitting here bro. Im rocking back and forth because im fighting for my life i am not leaving. Stop that

someone in the bathroom is pissing hard as fuck and i always think about this interview with anthony green

very adorable that people on here think valve would never use AI when gabe newell was donating to openai in 2018 and was saying last year that vibecoders will end up more valuable than actual developers 😭😭😭

Currently going through an addiction to english muffins. i bought a pack of 24 from costco last saturday and they’re almost gone. if i keep this up any longer im going to start speaking english