CsandDs

Report: Nation's Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization https://theonion.com/report-nations-gentrified-neighborhoods-threatened-by-1819569723/

"I'm telling you Jerry, it's not working"

Siri, show me the most unliked guy thru school who looks like Steven Miller

Hello, I'm Mark Nicolson, I'm in charge of One Nation's cartoons. I'm 26 years of age.

Ladies & gentlemen, may I present the world's premier satirist who has humour written all over his face

We here at the Tele will never apologise for demanding each player have a flag pole in their front yard

Name a fictional character death you haven’t gotten over. could it be anything other than the GOAT death

Denomination amount to chip tastiness surprisingly accurate

These are the only two things you need to take to any job interview

Any one of you who still thinks there is a single bit of difference between this place and X is in for a rude, rude awakening

Howdy fellow Aussies, we're not called the lucky country because we don't not do social cohesion good.

'the only thing I can't build on my own is social cohesion' - John Bradfield

I could out social coheve all you scuzbags

All politicians should be forced to pick the optimum social cohesion temperature

In my new pantomime the bad guy (Grinch) turns a big knob down that says 'social cohesion' on it.

Honk if you blame the lack of social cohesion all on Dave Hughes.

The result of the Haines attack will be millions of dollars spent on politicians protection so they can read nurse & teacher assault statistics in peace.

More money for pollie protection

Literally can't do anything right

TGIF! (they should make an emoji for an exclamation mark but its a sausage roll)

Fraiser themed frozen dinner

Hello everybody. Shameless fund raising plug. I also call this photo Ballarat gothic. And do our glasses look similar? www.gofundme.com/f/geoff-and-...

Then Hightower gets in & it creaks & splutters but it's Winslow making the noises. Hard cut to Callahan's jugs.

Fk that. Im buying the $20 knock off.

Hi everyone, I'm in charge of 'Operation Like Ben roberts smith'. Anyone got a photo of him not killing people?

Hi Sarah Henderson, any chance of exploiting the Haines attack for political gain?....OK, great.

Lol. Thanks for the tip @kels316.bsky.social

President Trump has pushed to move briefings out of the White House press room. Aides say he wants an indoor swimming pool instead. nyti.ms/4eoW3AV

Don't think I will ever come to terms with the fact Morgan Fairchild's first name is Morgan

Not high enough?

Put a hat on the horse & he'll struggle

This was my pitch for class captain, but instead of cash it was a caramel Chomp

Peter Navarro uses the White House as a prop while making a deranged sales pitch for his book: "Buy one for a friend, and I'm asking you to do this because it's the only way we're gonna put Fauci in prison. If we sell a million of them to change the thinking ... "

Get that groyper coin Merrick

The Tele's 'black armband of history' continues. Sad

GFY Bulldog ya hack

'Having failed to win your respect, I wish to purchase your childrens'.