Hyos Cyami

There's still beauty in the world. Watch "Everybody to Kenmure Street" if you can. www.rottentomatoes.com/m/everybody_...

I deserve a $60 Rioja because I didn't shout at people during the stand-up meeting even though they totally deserved it.

*bu-bump* Something's wrong. The sensors reported an obstruction. Thinking... I can't see any obstructions, let me back up a bit to get a clear picture. *bu-bump* Thinking... Got it! I drove over a kid. But wait, the kid is already dead. Let me drive around it. AGI is here 🎉

Nobody: OpenAI: There's a massive bug in our unreleased Software, let's post it on our website.

Yeah, this guy thinks the "Bond Market" is the MI6, because of James Bond.

I had a Mitch Hedberg joke, but it didn't age well

Chuck Grassley is 92 years old and yet they call it a "hearing".

Guys, fuck Ozempic, right? Just go to prison for "hours" and lose 6-8 pounds.

And his death doesn't change that.

NEW: Athletes and Fans upset - IOC introduces hydration breaks in high jump

My prediction for the SpaceX IPO: It'll go up on day 1 even though it's ridiculously overvalued. Because with OpenAI and Anthropic following along, this is too big to fail. This HAS to be a success and everyone's too deep in it. And within a year, it'll be worth shit. I'll be quoting this soon.

These are 2500 people (Zürich, today). So next time Tommy talks about 3 million, imagine this times 1200 and say what the fuck, Tommy?

0118 999 88199 9119 725 3 but I can't remember my credit card's PIN.

You still have an X account and are not following @gothburz.bsky.social there? You're using the internet wrong.

Lei Jun, the CEO of Xiaomi, will probably hang this one framed in his office. Xiaomi is on track to destroy Tesla. The SU7 is basically a Model S for the price of a Model 3. Coming to Europe in 2027. And Elon was like "dude, where am I?"

Of course I don't have beef with RFK Jr. That doesn't look like beef at all.

Nazi apologists are building bunkers. They will feel pretty stupid when they finish reading the story down there.

Say about Piers Morgan what you will, but his skills in setting somebody up for self-dissection are unmatched. I'm starting to think that his bigotry may just be an act to get those idiots behind a mic.

put it in your curry, but be aware that, from this point on, it’s a bit of a stretch to call it a curry.

It's certainly not AI generated, I'll give you that. Pro-Tip: Removing the price tags from the wide variety of hunting rifles you took from a store adds to the illusion.

Please tell me this shit has "written and produced by Nathan Fielder" in the credits...

This is basically why I don't like "The Traitors": Ok, one got banished, but now they're just going to recruit another traitor. So what's the point? And by "The Traitors" I mean the Trump administration.

I wonder if God goes to hell now, or does Chuck Norris show mercy?

Reading a lot of "if you can't afford gas, buy an EV" posts these days and they sound a little bit Antoinettey tbh

I'm incredibly productive when I should be doing my taxes but do other things instead.

Don't just cancel your subscription.

If the only video you've shared in the past 24 hours is the one of a burning luxury hotel in Dubai because you think "oh no, not the rich people!?": Give yourself a paper cut between the toes and go swimming. You need to feel yourself again.

The bombings in Iran are a disgrace to FIFA and everything the peace prize stands for.

Y'all realize that the only reason Trump made a big deal about hockey was because Canada lost, not because the US won, right? He didn't even congratulate Mikaela Shiffrin. Because he's a spiteful SOB. Just checking if we're on the same page...

For decades, I was embarrassed by my typos. Now I'm proud of them. Like, yeah, I'm a real person who doesn't feel the need to use AI to write 2 sentences. Who are you?

Companies after replacing developers with AI:

So happy to see Ruth Buscombe is still on the team @f1tv.bsky.social

I love that Canadians put on their A game when they play Switzerland in hockey. But a little bit less of the injuring our best players would suffice I think ;)

The reactions after posting something stupid on - Twitter: Insulted - Bluesky: Blocked - Reddit: Downvoted - Facebook: Liked - LinkedIn: Hired

It's 2026 and we still can't share audio on social media without attaching a video to it.

Graham is my least favourite Lindsey.

If you're going to elect a comedian as the next POTUS, I'd choose Jon Stewart over Gavin Newsom.

If it weren't for the rape, trafficking, torture, collusion, treason, murder and whatnot, I'd have said that the real crime was his taste in furniture.

Dems: This is how you do it.

Guys... This one might be on us. Has anyone ever tried just giving her orders? If she takes them from Stephen Miller, she might as well take them from you.

Worked until 11pm yesterday because of Microsoft's "Security Update". Today I decided: No more. Say hello to my new task bar.

Dear Americans It's pronounced DavOs. Emphasis on the o, not the a. Like in adore or remorse. Thank you.

Petition for a player in the NFL to change their name to Delinus Grimwich.

“The United States will not let men steal trophies from women…” - says guy who happily took the Nobel Peace Prize awarded to a woman

Feeling positive today: I used to use adjectives like vile, insane or pathetic willy-nilly. Daily reminders of their true meaning from the Trump administration have significantly improved my awareness and accuracy in describing something I disagree with.

Just finished watching PLUR1BUS, then saw the review bombing on RottenTomatoes because the main character "is a bitch". To those people: Have you seen any of Vince Gilligan's work? Which character (except Huell, of course) did you think is a great guy?

- "Hey, Mom, what's that thing you do after someone died?" - "Grift. ... No, grief! Erika, wait! GRIEF!!! ERIKA?!?"

But, you see, Russia needs the Donbas, because they don't have enough land. 🥺