Daniel Leonard

What musical instrument do fishermen play? Castanet

my new clown character: silent rapper Busta Keydin

dance like nobody's contributing to your direct fitness by considering you as a mate candidate, or to your indirect fitness by learning your courtship display

Want a pet? Get a worm. They're loam maintenance.

band name: Wayshape and the Forms

Discontent Destroyer

When the tooth fairy dies, will all of our teeth reappear under our current pillows? Or will each tooth reappear under the pillow we originally placed it under? Or, if the magic dies with her, will her estate executor have to track us down individually to return them?

Simply having a wonderful Christmas slime

language sensitivity guide: don't say: "Hydrox" do say: "Oreo" don't say: "Hyrox" do say: "hybrid obstacle race" don't say: "Hyrax" do say: "shrew-mouse" don't say: "Horcrux" do say: "phylactery"

as Ezekiel foretold

There's a saying in puppetry: You can make any show you like, as long as you call it Cinderella.

Lincoln! In The Bardo

Two boxing gloves way, way up @strongbadnofoolin.bsky.social

How has the For Dummies book series spent 35 years releasing over 2,500 volumes without a single one on ventriloquism?

celeb spoofs for an animated bird movie: characters: Charlize Heron Owl Pacino Steven Seagull Emu Philips Raven-Symoné Jay Pharoah cameos: Sheryl Crow Tony Hawk director: Brad Bird

Since I started tracking runs 11 years ago, I've climbed about 3/4 of the way to the International Space Station. I hope they've got snacks.

@samueltwain.bsky.social potentially of interest: trustnodelogic.com/songstructur...

early to bread early to rise makes a bran spelty malty and wise

No professional accomplishment has ever made me happier than this. theonion.com/translator-o...

Gather ye robots while ye may, our drones are still a-flying;

In a world... where be is finale of seem One man has what it takes to whip concupiscent curds He is THE EMPEROR OF ICE-CREAM

My pitch: "skeets" --> "bleets"

personal favorite Odyssey adaptation

William Carlos Watterson (not made by me)

found his dorm

Crocodilian 1: We're dispersin', person. Crocodilian 2: Be resumin', human.

Twinkle twinkle Ringo Starr How I wonder what you are

howdy

imagining a grizzled hardboiled detective saying this while gripping some guy's lapels at a shady bar

when the world has a rule they don't teach you in school that's a more when they say it's unwise how you singularize that's a more

I propose a reasonable middle ground on AI in education. We can minimize risks by being mindful of them as our schools embrace the incredible benefits of Asbestos Insulation.

What do you call a soused mouse house? A squeakeasy

I remember being taught to use some kind of digital typewriter. Its screen showed one line of text at a time. We wrote stories and saved them to the device. Now we waste children's time and minds training for an AI future corporate sponsors insist is inevitable. Same scam, different culprits.

I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if dozens of university library books suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear someone has graduated.

I suggest porting all curricular activity from Canvas to Bluesky