Danny Gallagher

Maybe if we all stop posting Bill Maher clips, we won’t care as much when he brags about having dinners with other egomaniacs.

More @answerswithjoe awesomeness: A look back at the life of entertainer, stuntman, and professional bone breaker Evel Knievel www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyPM...

I’m so glad peanut butter is back in my life.

I know this isn’t something a writer should say but I really can’t take on the news today.

Finally got to meet the great Joe Lansdale

Today, I have HAD IT with accountants. And shepherds. It’s two separate things but if you’re an accountant or a shepherd, stay out of my way.

Remember a time when saying horrendous stuff like this about your fellow citizens was disqualifying? www.mediaite.com/media/tv/ral...

I just paid $75 for almost $150 worth of groceries. I am your God now.

Skydance is a stupid name. It sounds like an improv troupe themed around young adult romance.

I have a problem…

Can someone explain Dungeon Crawler Carl to me so I can make an uninformed opinion on it?

When you’re realize you’re the only person in a BOOKstore who is actively reading a BOOK

Just finished Fantastic Land by Mike Bockoven. Well worth the read. Love the story telling device he uses to tell a horrifying story of the fragility of humanity.

What’s another big pop culture trope like the Red Shirt? Not necessarily for certain death. Just looking for trends.

Just found out that I made the “shortlist” for a special one-day writing workshop for The Onion! I’d come up with a joke about it, but I’m too excited and no one’s paying me to write one.

I miss writing for games.

The signs were there the whole time. www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/t...

How does one spend over $100 in the express lane of the store? I’m sicker than syphilis of this.

Smile, Carolyn. There’s justice in the world. www.nytimes.com/live/2026/09...

Smile, Carolyn. There’s justice in the world. www.nytimes.com/live/2026/09...

How does one spend over $100 in the express lane of the store? I’m sick than syphilis of this.

Who could’ve guessed this would happen under the watch of a guy who figured out a way to bankrupt a casino FOUR times? www.washingtonpost.com/style/2026/0...

Third place in the Squid Games! Yes I’d be dead but I’d get to have the fancy final dinner.

Netflix House closed the Stranger Things experience and are replacing it with one based on K Pop Demon Hunters. Cmon! Where my Black Mirror walkthrough attraction that reminds humanity we’re all doomed now matter what we do?!?

Your weekly reminder that Bill Maher is still a huge jerk who thinks terrorism is brave. www.mediaite.com/media/tv/bil...

I’ve noticed an alarming number of posts with video clips from movies that are still in the theaters. The only thing these posts accomplish is helping me hate Facebook even more than I thought possible.

You see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you elect a president who doesn’t understand irony or symbolism? www.mediaite.com/media/news/t...

Just paid the highest price I’ve ever paid for an oil change. Someone needs to start a sarcastic “Thanks, Donald!” catchphrase.

Just saw Buddy in the theater. So good and yet so wrong.

There’s a new season of Taskmaster on right now!

I don't like to post about my weight and health, but I am .2 pounds away from weighing under 300 pounds for the first time in three years.

I know I’m a grown up but I still have a deep and abiding appreciation for comic violence

Just got out of Coyote vs. Acme. It’s a really fun movie especially for Looney Tunes fans like me. The story is also really well layered like Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Double damn with an extra side of blast and damn... www.tmz.com/2026/08/26/t...

Thing I Actually Just Said Out Loud Now No. 819: “Screw it, I’m going back to bread.”

Has anyone received their energy bill yet? I just got mine and Jesus Christ. What's the minimum amount of plasma a human can have and not die?

Scromiting is more fun than it sounds.

Last month, I sent in a writer packet to the show “Jeopardy!” I didn’t get the job BUT I was “in contention!” My jaw hit the floor when I read this. “Of the more than 1300 candidates who applied for the Jeopardy! writer position, you were one of a few hundred who remained in contention.”

It’s official. I now have more prescriptions than I’ve had dates and relationships.

Just wrote the dumbest comedy sketch for ShadowboxLive’s holiday show. It’s not “A Very Brady Christmas” dumb. Don’t insult me.

This is pretty dumb, even for the likes of Bari Weiss. "Ms. Weiss asked Mr. Bilton...to expand “60 Minutes” beyond a one-hour weekly broadcast..." Longer than an hour? The show is literally called "60 Minutes!" www.nytimes.com/2026/07/28/b...

Somebody make the sun stop.

www.mediaite.com/media/news/t...

Just finished two major applications to two major opportunities. I need a nap.

Thanks to that Zevo commercial and the new Jackass movie, I can’t get that Bonnie Tyler song out of my head.

I just signed a gym membership contract, which I’m sure involves ownership of my soul somehow.

Our president is such a whiny baby. youtube.com/shorts/9dK6H...

Loved the ending to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Still hate that it happened.

BURGUM: When the sun goes down, solar produces zero electricity HUFFMAN: I want to enter into the record this amazing new technology that apparently the secretary is unaware of -- it's a battery

I got back a note today about one of my creative projects that absolutely made me laugh: "This is absolutely not something that should be part of [REDACTED]."