Dee Lomas

Before he took his own life he had lost half his body weight. Half… And he was never a big man. Imagine that. He called various media outlets and begged them to back off because he’d reached breaking point. And do you know what they did? They doubled down. Evil evil fvcking bastards.

Every day Abdul El Sayad gives a master class in how to take down bad faith questions. A lot of politicians could learn a lesson or two from him… #midterms #honorarydem

Now that the winds have died down I’d like to thank my neighbours for my new garden shed, wheelie bin and outdoor trampoline. Oh, nearly forgot…a 6 month old Yorkshire Terrier called Fluffy! #stormboelo

Some people are just such a waste of 6 million years of evolution…

I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist…

Them: How’s your week going? Me: It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Actual photo of me…

Until the midterm results come in I consider myself an honorary Democrat. Just an fyi - I live in the UK - but I’m as invested in these elections as any goddamn American citizen… THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

So I’m discussing getting the provisions in for our ‘emergency preparedness’ with my daughter who we’ve suggested should come to us if there is a problem. I’m on loudspeaker with my daughter & my granddaughter Tessa, aged 7, says, “Can you get me dried mango & artichoke hearts’…& now I’m dying!

Get your relatives talking to each other again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows… Follow me for more life coaching tips like this one.

I’d like more of your ideas on Jackson Bond/James Lamb dialogue please…

Can you imagine if Jackson Lamb was the next James Bond? “I’m James fvcking Bond. Now piss off…” I’d much prefer him to River Cartwright…

I don’t know how long Europe would take to set up its own equivalent of Starlink but they should be right on immediately and, however long they think it will take, they need to halve that time. It can be done. And the UK should be part of it @andyburnham.bsky.social @vonderleyen.ec.europa.eu

I’ve just broken up a fight between an auctioneer and a hairdresser. My goodness they were going at it hammer and tongs!

Is it all over for him because he’s going to be the next JB…

Casting Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb was a spectacular piece of televisual mastery…

I recently saw a post on Instagram that said you should rediscover hobbies that you had when you were 16 years old… So, if anyone needs me I’ll be knocking back a 2 litre bottle of 50p cider on the steps of the Handsom Cab in Luton and puking my guts up about 30 minutes later… You?

Quasimodo went to the doctors to have his hump removed so the doc asked him to undress. He took off 4 overcoats, 5 jumpers & 4 shirts. The doc said, “Hang on,how long since you last went to school?” Quasi replied, "47yrs. Why?" The doc replied, "Didn’t you ever wonder what happened to your satchel?"

Whilst shocking, I’m surprised that anyone is shocked by the revelations that Reform are a party full of racists, misogynists and ignoramus’s and that those three words aptly sum up anyone who supports them. What should worry us is that their supporters don’t care that we know…

Once again… This is not a vetting problem. This is a Reform problem. This is a Farage problem. Only grim losers like this are going to sign up to a racist, misogynistic, extremist, mass-deportations and tell-the-Royal-Marines-to-murder-people-at-sea kind of party. www.itv.com/news/2026-10...

Explaining facts to MAGA or Reform supporters is like trying to have a conversation with a Boxing Day turd… Absolutely fucking hopeless…

I cannot imagine when this man had his last good nights sleep whilst this man on the right sleeps through half of his time in important meetings…

I fvcking hate war but I’ve never wanted anyone to win a war as much as I want Ukraine to fvcking shove it up Putin’s arse… And fvck Trump and fvck Musk

Who the fvck does this jumped up dirtbag think he is. Who asked him for his opinion! Just fvck off and when you get there fvck off some more…

Jenrick’s been on quite the journey from a one nation, Remain-voting Tory, through to frothing Brexiter and on to demanding that Royal Marines murder people at sea for daring to seek refuge here. All to impress the country’s racist losers and maybe get a few more votes. Christ he’s repulsive.

Very rare footage of a vegan plane refuelling…

The first Russian diesel cargo heading for the US left St Petersburg on September 22, two weeks *before* Trump announced the deal with Putin, Windward reports. The Greek-flagged tanker Minerva Zen carrying 275,000 barrels of diesel/gasoil is due at the US East Coast around 11–12 October.

What a treacherous cvnt. Buying oil from a country that’s carrying out an illegal war and that will use these funds to buy weapons from a country that the traitor in chief is currently at war with. What a short sighted arsehole. The ROTW need to consider sanctions on the USA now.

The Nobel Peace Prize team are exceptionally good at trolling and throwing shade at you know who…

It is altogether possible that by this time tomorrow that the orange shit gibbon will have blown an aneurysm when it’s announced that he is categorically not the winner of the Nobel peace prize and that, in fact, it’s Mark Carney… And won’t we all have such a wonderful weekend…

Me: 2026 whatcha got for me? 2026: best I can do is pneumonic plague…

As a child, I used to watch the Wizard Of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Now that I’m older and I have social media… I wonder no longer…

Join!

I don’t own a diesel car but if I did, I’d be keeping more of an eye on the record profits that Shell, BP et al will be recording over the next months & I’d be thinking these are the people making my life worse. Greedy corporate fbckers. Not people in boats who arrive with nothing but hope & dreams.

Irelands Shame

Dear men, Unless we say yes…it’s a no. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Home for the next few days #puglia

Wordle 1,930 2/6 🟩⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Hello Puglia you little beauty

Listen you lardy arsed lobcock, you orange shit gibbon. My energy bills are going up astronomically because a war you’ve already won 27 times is still going on. This isn’t our war & it’s a pile of shit you’ve started to hide your WMDs: the Epstein Files. Release them & my energy woes will melt away!

Iran has categorically denied being involved in the petty shop lifting event in Wells, Somerset… #DieselGate

It’s about time women started burning the fvcking house down…

Stop telling us it’s not all men. In a house with 71 men in it there wasn’t one good one… And that’s all that was needed.

My my… It’s all going on over there… Burnham - Bold, brave, buoyant… He just needs the bollocks to see this through!

Just imagine that the President of the United States and the Secretary of Defense for the USA have intelligence so good that they knew about the ‘red diesel 5’… it’s incredible, isn’t it? Liar liar pants on fire…

Everyone is worried about artificial intelligence. Meanwhile, natural stupidity is out there thriving…

Them: What do you do for a living? Me: My fvcking best…

65 today guys and gals…

My husband and daughter are leaving me due to my obsession with horse racing. And they’re off…

My husband wants me to take him to Vegas to see the temptations for Christmas. Instead I’m going to Primark to get him four tops…

Andy @andyburnham.bsky.social We still can’t fvcking hear you and the longer you stay silent and do nothing the more and more emboldened these right wing fascists will become. If anyone dies, their blood will be on your hands. Your silent do nothing fvcking hands.

Listen guys… She’s only gone and bloody done it…granddaughter is officially accepted for the Somerset county cricket academy aged 10 years. I’m so proud!