Devenison

Mozilla, the commercial with all of the old internet meme people is cool as fuck, but Brave mogs you ngl.

Breaking news: Ethan Klein's pager has exploded.

Me explaining to my grandma why spending 4 hours in Hobby Lobby is wrong

Sorry guys, it's true, I am indeed just an LLM running in some chud's basement, please DM me your personal info so I can learn more.

Klein/11

Deftones: there's a hole in my buuuuuuuuuuuuuutt

The Cybertruck was ass but credit where credit is due

"I don't think $30k is a life-changing amount of money."

I think Ukraine striking a data center in Russia actually spawned more bots, like a hydra. I've had more porn bots try to interact with me in the last 24 hours than any other day in the last year.

If we are going to do public executions again, can we at least not pretend there's any dignity left in it, and just throw it in a stadium somewhere? I'd be throwing money on the Kalshi bet on where the first bullets will land on his body, I'd throw BANDS down on that.

Apparently Sega opened an official Sonic The Hedgehog server and everything I've seen coming out of it so far is a gem mine

No matter how hard life can get, I know I can always count on "indian rapist" to enjoy my shitposting

Polymarket was a lot more fun when it was just a niche site you had to use a VPN to get to, just to bet a fraction of a Bitcoin that Sabrina Carpenter's asshole would turn into a sentient alien being in the next 48 hours.

False flags 25 years ago: "we will fly planes full of people into structures with many people and horrify the world!" False flag today: "I stabbed an Indian pilot but the plane refused to nose dive, oopsie doopsie UwU."

When that woman they tried to execute wakes up in the hospital, you know that first convo will be weird like "Hey we accidentally gave you a sleeping medicine, I know we tried to kill you and we will definitely try again but we are cool, right?"

Finally watched Kickassia and it is unironically better than half of the slop movies that have come out since Covid, 10/10 masterpiece

the wrong people are dying

I wish someone would have told me that eating tacos every day for lunch for a few years would lead to gastrointestinal issues, literally who could have seen this coming? Should I ask the Uber eats person bringing me tacos currently?

I hope Carrot Top is OK, get well soon top dog.

Don't worry guys, we got Greenland! We now have so much ice and snow to hide the remaining Epstein files under!

You just created a million Macklemores

September 9-11.11, You Can (Not) Forget

Gotta respect Ronnie Radke for knowing he is musically chopped nowadays, and knows who to pull into Falling In Reverse + guest spots to carry his music for him.

Jury nullification ftw

Imagine going to Michael Dell and saying "Can I have $1 mil. for my OS made of dog shit and clown semen? I got a little hate online and I need this money to recover from it."

Google deployed an AI VTuber generator lmao

If you are writing multi paragraph essays on how someone LARPing as Technoblade online is evil then you really need to go out and get some pussy or something

I hate this game!

They should have replaced Colbert on The Late Show with Hunter Biden.

From the backyard to the tree, Kaya will be free!

Sorry I can't come to work I got the hentai virus

I still hold that the dumbest "cancellation" was John Maus getting kicked out of a vaporwave fest because some people saw him watching the Jan 6th riots from the side and laughing at it, then completely ignored every statement he ever made reinforcing that he is a leftist.

I never thought of that movie this way, and now I can't stop thinking about it that way.

RIP Ted Turner, one of the only good billionaires

How does one get invited to the met gala? I want to show up in a Walmart Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts that have pockets covering every inch, and slipper Crocs.

Most entertaining BlueSky user

>Clavicular overdose >Sneako getting clocked on the street >Johnny Somali going to a labor camp We got the good ending

The UK government proving it is ableist and antiemetic by banning the one billionaire that wasn't on that island www.bbc.com/news/article...

RIP Chuck Norris, he sacrificed himself to correct the timeline after Harambe's death.

The first person to guess the correct TV show gets 20 bucks. Seriously, take a wild guess.

The more realistic version of the "aliens being real doesn't phase me, we are going through it" meme is forgetting the Olympics are happening until right after the opening ceremony happens.

What is Juju Kaisen and why is it all over my timeline?

Can someone make a version of Daggerfall that is just dungeons?

This is the musical and geopolitical equivalent of spitting in someone's face while they are already knocked down.

Seeing a streamer that looks like the African kid I send $10 to each month sing that Kanye West Nazi song was not on my 2026 bingo card