Heineken Skywalker

Two literal neo-Nazis, one under criminal investigation, are US Senate candidates. If all goes according to plan, they will be defeated by a Muslim and a Jew. Poetic, but also unacceptable we got here in the first place.

Early Voting has begun. Messaging needs to be on point. The Iran War is now named the Magat-Iran war. Nobody from our side wanted it except our pussy president and his magat sycophants. I want y'all to start using this phrasing.

Rev @jamestalarico.bsky.social please say a prayer for Peacock. They ran this crap twice. I wanna see Mariska Hargitay not this shit.

Miriam (and our fucktard president): "James Talarico will change your kid's gender at school" Teachers: "We can't even change kids band-aids. We don't even have a nurse".

I got your #OctoberSurprise right here: Trump had sex with Roy Cohn in a frog costume....

@jd-vance-1.bsky.social The anti-Christ doesn't walk amongst us. That's a myth some dipshit made up for a documentary in the 1970s. But I....I walk amongst us. And I'm really pissed off at the state of affairs. I Am America Made Flesh.

The Dallas Morning News are bunch of fucking pussies. You should recommend the lady who has a chance at beating the theocrat piece of shit who spiked our infant mortality rate. You’re worse than Washington Post.

Guys, I may not be the anti-Christ but I may have started the couch thing....

Eric "Zordon" Deters summons the Rangers to defeat Rita Repulsa

Don’t go outside, RFK Jr jerked off to roadkill in the chemtrails again.

Well, Clavicular just got arrested for drugging and raping a kid.... Is anyone surprised?

Yellow Wendy's means nothing if they don't bring back the fries from the 1990s.

I went back in time and threw Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in front of the bullet that killed his Dad. But it was DBZ rules so things still suck in this timeline.

#LuigiMangione Luigi shouldn't have been in that skate park in Phoenix that day. He should have murdered Andrew Wakefield instead.

BlueSky peaked after the 2024 election. Prove me wrong. Get me millions of followers and I will deliver slop like this. Also, The Middle East is now West Asia. I have spoken.

That wasn't Mitch McConnell that was the final boss in the next Five Night's at Freddy's

@jasmineforus.bsky.social Ohhhh Jazzzzzzmnnnn.....whyyyyyyyy? #IYKYK

I’m not the Angel of Death; I’m the Devil of Life.

I’m always lurking, JD. I’m not the anti-Christ but I’m always lurking!

Bro, not Fieval…..

Why couldn't I just have been the Dr. Doom of the Middle East? Kingdom of Levanta? Turkey wants its empire back. Israel wants to make one. Iran wants one. Saudi wants one. But none shall have one. Only DOOM will have his empire. Jerusadoom. Doomascus. Istandoom! #MiddleEast is now West Asia.

Lunette walked so Miss Rachel could fly.

Mushroomhead is underrated. They made a Seal hit better.

I miss The Miz. He was awesome.

People need to keep my cousin Abdul up in Michigan's name out THEIR damn mouths. It's my cousin Stifler in Michigan that's the real problem. Don't....don't let that man near positions of power. @abdulelsayed.bsky.social

Yo, JD Vance. You only said keep your wife’s ‘name’ out my mouth. I found the loophole and used it. 🖖🏼👅 That was supposed to say the shocker emoji but they don’t have one and my pinky has PTSD from high school lacrosse anyway.

Our troops are not fucking toys for Bryson Kegsbreath's high fantasy holy war horseshit. The business of America was, is, and always will forever be...BUSINESS! Fuck the religious right! They are destroying the military and it is time for the REAL America to rise up and destroy them!

I AM backwards and poor. I am a fuckin bum. I do live in a trailer with my mom! I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob whose data centers go obsolete as soon as the lights come on.

My Secretary of War here; one hundred percent queer. He LOVES the cock!

Changing the batteries in the birds was cover for the Flock camera installations.

Just call me angelllll of the morniiiing aaaangel!

Yo...I uh....found someone's trapper keeper. No contact info inside but I think it belongs to Mrs. Natalie Trump because that's written in several places on it. H/t @lincolnproject.us

I'll be glad when the anti-vax movement's "leaders" are dead. They won't be able to hurt innocent people anymore. Bioterrorist fucks deserve to die of measles. Yeah I said it.

We was butt naked all over the floor. It feld weird tho cuz we was at the Faygo store.

Lindsey Graham is dead, South Carolina is alive!

Northeast Dallas.

"Ice Cream" "Now....Joe, this here was built out of a repurposed McFlurry machine, so the ice cream part is obviously broken"

Half the magat profiles on Facebook are run by the same Bobs and Vagene guy calling you about your car's extended warranty.

"Hey...uh....you got any slits in here? heh heh...eeeeeeehehe" "Damn it, Beavis there's no slits in this pool. That fat orange guy lied. "AHHH. That guy with the Uncle Sam suit has his wiener out!" "Run Beavis!"