Nina Parmenter

I had to write a bio for my new poetry book yesterday, and I’m now composing one for a work conference I’m speaking at. My internal cringe meter has hit maximum. “As head of marketing at [my company], Nina has been telling the world about groundbreaking seating ideas for 25 years.” Shoot me. 😂

🚨 SELF-PIMPING POST Be warned that from December, I am going to be whoring myself out for readings for my new pamphlet ‘Kiss Chase with Darwin’. If you run an event and would like some dark, funny, feminist, evolution based words in your space, tap me up x

The long sleeves and warm socks and cord trousers are coming out. I mean, the wellies and dog towels are coming out too, which isn’t so great. But mostly, YAY.

I’ve realised Andrew’s a cunt

Super chuffed to be reading at the launch of Forest Management by S Reeson this Friday! This gem of a pamphlet tells of dark shadows and self discovery, all set inside *a generic forest based holiday park*. Also reading will be Victoria Spires and host will be Paul Short Tickets: shorturl.at/N1fkS

What the ACTUAL HECK do I get my dad for his 80th bday???

Me: B-O-A-T Scrabble Bot: I added an M to OUTFIT to make MOUTFIT and then used the M to start the word MIQOJIZ for a score of 362.

Grass is jewelled ✅ Silk inside a chestnut shell ✅ Jetplanes waiting in the air to be refuelled ⏸️ ⏸️ ⏸️

Man who supported Brexit then fucked off to Monaco to avoid contributing a penny of his £15 billion fortune to public services makes the mistake of thinking anyone gives a shit what he thinks.

SO. Only a couple of months til my pamphlet 📔'Kiss Chase with Darwin' is out. If you want a nudge when it's out, plus cover reveal and general squealing, pop along to my website ninaparmenter.com and sign up for my lovely & infrequent mailing list 😍😍 Photo: unsplash.com/@photosoflogan

Trying to be cool about it, but I got an acceptance from The North yesterday 😁

Can’t wait for the launch of this cracking pamph!!

Reform’s internal investigation

So I’m unloading the dishwasher to the soundtrack of some ecstatic trance this morning, because how else do you unload the dishwasher. And I throw my hands up in the air ready for the drop and what pops into my head? “Ooh, that’s a nice stretch for the lower back”. 🙄 🎹🎤 🕺 👵🏻

Today’s headlines: 1. Guy who had costs awarded against him in court case has to actually pay the costs that were awarded against him in the court case. 2. Actress gonna do some acting Meanwhile, the world burns

I’ve done my to-dos today, my to-dos are now fewer than one, and the list that existed has ceased and desisted cos all my to-dos are to-done! True dat. 🙌

Bored with endless sweaty summer days and keen to cosy up with some proper good poetry? Trowbridge Stanza have put together two brilliant events in September. Details here! ninaparmenter.substack.com/p/two-events...

This pamphlet is as good as it looks and more. PRE ORDER IT YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO 💚 💙 🖤

Poets: I would love to hear your longest and most unashamedly specific poem titles. I’ll start with the relatively short and snappy “I Accidentally Spot the Fourth Dimension While Waiting at the Bus Stop”.

Smells like the apocalypse out there with a glorious blend of air from wildfires in South Wales and the New Forest. Still, burn baby burn, eh?

that would happen later today.

Enjoying the fact that the current poem I am working on will reveal an extra layer of meaning to those with a good knowledge of West Midlands bus routes around Coventry/Leamington in the late 1990s. It is not always the poet’s job to be inclusive, people 😂

Burnham is promising a new path but Binface is going to built at least one WHOLE HOUSE so…

Fantastic ekphrastic from @internetofwords.com who is poet in residence for Leigh Art Trail. Love the words, the art, the film. 🩷 m.youtube.com/shorts/I1f9P...

Question: if you live in a rural area with no mayor, who exactly does power get devolved to? Because if this means giving more responsibility to Wiltshire Council 😱 then yeah no thanks.

Me sorting out the poems that I’ve kicked around for so long that I have ZERO idea if they’re good any more.

Absolutely amazed that Forestry England are going ahead with huge outdoor concerts this week despite a red weather warning. I cannot go as my body just would not cope. So that’s my £70 ticket down the pan. Rrrrrrr. I did not need to be any more grumpy!!

Anti-Prime Day starts…NOW! 🥳 Today through 6/26, enjoy free standard shipping site-wide, all while supporting local, independent bookstores.

Tomorrow! Trowbridge Poetry Stanza is ridiculously proud to present the launch of ‘Stalin’s Parrot’ by @isabellethompsonpoetry plus open mic 🏠 Drawing Projects UK, Stallard Street, Trowbridge 🕰️ Saturday 6th June, 2pm 💰 £5 + booking fee ℹ️ www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/trowbridge...

I have some slight seconds of Trowbridge Stanza's fab, uplifting poetry anthology 'Looking Up - Poems of Hope & Humanity' for sale on a pay-what-you-like basis. Every pound (apart from postage) goes to our brilliant local hospice Dorothy House. Details: trowbridgestanza.substack.com/.../pay-what....

When a squirrel starts chucking nut shells at your head and you’re not even sitting under a nut tree, you start to take it personally. Someone brought a nut shell to a cherry fight.

What if, instead of the slog of submitting, I just tell you I wrote a poem I’m really pleased with, and you say, “Good! Great! Well done! Pleased for you!” and then we all just get on with our lives?

Joining the vast canon of horror poetry inspired by roadworks just outside Westbury… 🚧 🚧 🚦😱

Dear [author], We are excited by your book [title]. We love how it [AI-generated text taken directly from your blurb]. We would be excited to feature you in our spotlight! 💰 💰 💰 Grrrr 😖

If you shine a torch into Wes Streeting’s eyes, do you see the End of Times? Asking for a friend.

Important news

So what I learned last night is that it’s incredibly difficult to read a poem whilst leading a room of 40 odd people in hip rotations.😂 (Yes, the poem did require it, and that’s the poem’s fault, not mine.) Anyway, I think I need to practise before I start my book launch rounds later this year! 😂

This is probably the most Gen X thing ever, but I heard someone yesterday on a podcast say that skylarks sound like the frantic synth on Josh Wink’s Higher State of Consciousness, and now I am delightedly identifying them on my dog walk.

Lots of lovely meteors about tonight if you can find a relatively dark bit of sky 😊 💫💫💫

Trying to get some work done on the house but just getting nowhere. I dream of the day we get a quote in and I don’t do this.

Check out S Reeson ( @internetofwords.com)’s awesome piece of visual poetry on @inksweatandtears.co.uk today. 💓 ⚠️ inksweatandtears.co.uk/s-reeson-2/

The totally normal notes I grab my phone and make just before I fall asleep 😂