doc spookman

[7am, hungover, gonna be late for work, staring in the mirror at the saddest looking piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life] da greatest to ever do it baby

my ass is tonished as fuck bro

how your email finds me

sonc the hengehog

feels incredible to check search for my joke I thought was original, only to see it’s been made about four dozen times on bluesky alone (notably by @dillo.media like 3 years ago)

Well fuck there goes my $1500 on kalshi to invade Brazil

I wonder what would happen if you used the yassification filter on goatse

day 60 of successfully masquerading as a competent worker at my job. how long can this charade last

look I’ll just take the Backrooms ok

caught myself saying “we really needed this rain” and instantly turned into a dusty skeleton

too much craziness today. this song is really nice tho

they aimed the havana syndrome laser at the pillsbury doughboy

finally found my first darude sandstorm X trump going “euhh” mashup

magdalena bay produce one imperfect song challenge: impossible

distributing my jeans across multiple databases. call that sharding my pants

do you think trump’s piss stream goes several directions every time he goes. or has he surpassed the need to pee standing up with his weapons-grade Depends

does anyone remember my PHP password, i forgot

animal farm for millennials (complimentary)

committed a cardinal sin at karaoke tonight. did a flawless run of "one week" with my eyes closed

this is what i look like when im hard at work too

performing the sears kenmore air conditioning commercial at karaoke

is that good

The Devil and Tommy Teepell

nathan fielder’s next doc should be about that australian olympic breakdancer

that’s gonna be a no from me dawg

just remembered this dumb kid lol

just saw someone have an incorrect opinion. I’m lowkey fuming about it

me and who

it doesn’t make sense, until you see the movie and it makes absolute perfect sense

we gotta get nathan fielder on the adam friedland show asap

Jesus Fucking Christ

Taking the brunt in row 3. My body is ready

many beautiful women are calling doc shartman’s posts “really something” and “borderline legible.” get in on the ground floor of this opportunity today

going to see the elizabeth holmes doc tonight and am unsure what mind-altering substance, if any, should accompany me

you had me at Tomboyish Dry Bitch

wake up you fucks. It’s national cheese curd day, brought to you by fuckin Culver’s

The Japanese had an antebellum Michael Tracey