DodgeeDoo

On a trip to San Francisco in 2009, I bought a brownie from a little twink with a basket full baked goods who was wandering in the park selling his wares. One of my favorite weekends.

I’m at a hotel and CNN is on in the lobby. They are discussing at length the Marine Shut Up incident. Jesus Christ, they really don’t want Republicans to lose control of the senate. Now a commercial break. LeBron news teased next.

I’m denouncing the Brotherhood of Nod.

Sir, why won’t you disavow Affliction T-shirts and True Religion Jeans?

Kobe Bryant was ahead of his time. Flying death machines for all!

“You gotta learn AI video. It’s gonna revolutionize everything.” Buddy, as an AI prompt engineer - video, you think they aren’t vibe coding you goofy job out of existence as we speak?!? Best case scenario, you get six months at a high salary.

Front yard mushroom looks like a butt.

I thought the most implausible part of the Handmaid’s Tale was the frequent public executions on the wall. Like who could stand for that? But it’s becoming increasingly likely. Death cult gonna death cult.

Making fun of Susan Dell is antisemitism and misogyny. I will not be answering any questions on this or defending it as a position though.

Are you gonna sign up for eligible kids for Trump accounts? It seems wrong to give up free money but it’s blood money so I’d rather not. Also there’s no way it isn’t a scam or that it’ll ever be real.

When Trump pardons Hegseth, the next president can rendition him overseas to face justice and pardon the team that does it. Pardons rule. Amazing stuff.

I’ve never heard Choosing Texas but i certainly wont go searching for it because it’ll give it a play count and it’ll most certainly fuck up my algorithms on every stupid site.

Pulling two 2 liters of Faygo out of my JNCO pockets so can properly sit in the interview chair.

Telling my wife that my gambling debt was actually research for an article. She actually bought it! Now I have to write a stupid article about it though because she wants to read it. Really backed myself into a corner here.

RETVRN #samsung

impeach them all. fuck em. why should they get to fly around on our dime and hurt people? “they’ll never actually removed from office” who gives a shit? I want them miserable every day for the rest of the term. I hope they have nightmares. air their dirty laundry. make em sweat

2026, the election cycle where republicans hide that theyre republicans while democrats promise to govern like republicans

Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming https://theonion.com/trans-teen-hatches-nefarious-plot-to-undergo-years-of-m-1850433563/

Inflation this Christmas is going to be insane with these fuel prices. Trump both sealed the fate of fossil fuels and the War on Christmas. Genius guy. Christmas is coooooooked.

Has Ed Sheeran joined the Harry Potter TV show cast yet?

The great thing about AI is that you can just turn it off.

It’s crazy that we’re gonna deal with “Obama and Biden shut down all the rural hospitals.” for the rest of our lives even though it was under Trump and Republicans and 100% under capitalism (and Obama and Biden)?

Elizabeth Holmes only crime was happening too soon. She could have ruled in the AI space.

We must destroy AI for Dolly Parton. It was her dying wish.

U.S. Mint Introduces New Controversial John Wilkes Booth Pennies theonion.com/u-s-min...

Could you imagine if Obama or Biden killed the penny?!? You’d have republicans paying for houses in pennies. They’d be enshrining pennies. Nightly FOXNews segments about the favorite pennies of the troops. Morning show dinner segments on “liberal” media pennies being the backbone of the economy.

“Race Science,” sung to the tune of Oingo Boingo’s Weird Science

I want an AirPods Pro noise cancelling and playback override that only works on my wife starts speaking or even says a phrase like “Hey dummy!” Please pause the audio, rewind to the start of the last sentence and waiting until our conversation is over to resume playback of my audiobook.

Picturing the Pod Save guys writing lengthy apology/love letters to Obama has softened the blow the Natalie Harp thing.

Invasive Natalie Harp are taking over Illinois waterways. I fear the Great Lakes are next to fall.

They’re gonna stop announcing recalls and just let people die shitting their brains out because 35% of victims will blame Biden. I hate it here.

I know there’s so much evil going on, but the Trump Account thing is so bizarre. My daughter is eligible for a 1 time deposit of $250 because she born during Trump’s first term. Insanity.

Ossoff go off on a dart board of ideas which will force the very serious journalists to post their scoops

The craziest thing about life today is you can come on here for months and just now learn about mass shooting from last week or last month or last year. These are just things that happen and get memory holed unless it’s got the wrong gender component (almost never does so media quickly moves on).

Freaks open mouth coughing at DFW. It’s was nice knowing y’all. Rip to my immune system.

Trillions of dollars down the toilet for a “Nude Tayne” generator.

When I was new to marketing, I didn’t realize the people who spent the ad money with Facebook were allowed to say “This campaign I worked on performed really well on Facebook. Here are the numbers!” Yeah, of course their numbers show that? They want you spend more money? Do you hear yourself?!

Wisconsin got upset Blackout Wednesday might be canceled and voted accordingly.

Primaries should be a month before the election and the election should not be spoken of after the election. Inaugurations should be a month after the election. Our drag things out cycles suck ass.

I still can’t believe all these very real and important companies changed the name of the Gulf of Mexico on their silly digital platforms. Like it was such an easy “No thanks, I’m good.” moment and they fumbled it.

Babe Ruth wasn’t real. A baby cannot play baseball at any level, let alone professionally.

“Money out of politics. Money in your pockets.” is stupidly good.

You’re telling me a coup d'é’d this tat?