Draconacticus

Heartbreakingly, mum of one of my kids' classmates passed away this week. If you are able to help give the family some time together to heal, be much appreciated. gofund.me/b81b9862e

Sad news. The guy who first introduced dairy byproducts to Italian cuisine just pasta whey.

Not rude things, a thread:

this is genuinely incredible

Invented a new type of solar panel this morning.

Of all the virtues they sing of AI, how come no one's training them to filter spam out of our inboxes?

A 2024 study found that ants best humans at tests of collective intelligence. Learn more: https://scim.ag/42nMvQJ #ScienceMagArchives

1. The first thing that should be said about the fatal shooting in Minneapolis by a federal immigration officer is that the victim’s name is Renee Nicole Good.

Don't rate Halloween as a horror movie tbh. There. I said it.

Happy Halloween everyone! Terrors of the season to you all!

My wife's just described a colleague as "a bone on a dog". No idea.

Today my wife is celebrating Diwali by creating a fresh argument with her mother. Happy Diwali everyone!

11 years to the day. You would have been ten and big sister to two crazy girls. We only got to hold you once to say goodbye, but we'll never forget you Rowan xxx #BLAW #BLAW2025 #BabyLossAwarenessWeek

Someone's trying to open the hell-mouth in Chorlton. Again.

Whoa! What's with all the new followers? Am I on a new list?

My Jilly Cooper story... I worked in Dixons, Cheltenham, for a miserable two weeks over Christmas when I was a student. Jilly Cooper came in and whilst I was sticking security tags on joysticks she shot me a smile that a hungry man would give a plate of chips. Still gives me nightmares.

Day 278 of #365DaysOfSmiles Boy saves cat from science experiment

Sad to hear she’s kicked the bouquet…

Not entirely convinced he thought through the placement of his bombs.

Hats off to Starbucks for the design of their ghost cookies. They really put the willies up.

Bloody awful here.

My enemies will be distressed to learn that my life has dramatically improved in the last 24 hours.

Does everyone else have friends who just completely vanished after you left school... no contact with anyone, no social media presence ever? Did you ever find out why?

At the Swimming Baths for youngest's lesson. 33C. Indoors.

COMPETITION TIME! I can’t sell this Japanese inspired Vader print (it has faint scratches). If you’d like to win it please RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner Fri 4th 1pm. You can find more of my prints, tees and mugs here www.infinitebacon.com Thank you and good luck!

Reason #987 of Why I Love Living in Manchester: it's a tropical paradise

Vorspringy boingy Technik

No one wears veruca socks these days because of woke.

Not my hocus, not my pocus

Can't even call people a cunt in meetings now because of woke.

Afternoon

Bit late to open up a murder inquiry now lads.

314 to 291... 52% to 48% THE CURSED RATIO IS BACK! But this time it's for a good thing. Well done MPs. Bit of compassion.

All is forgiven! I've just won Iron Maiden tickets... IT WAS LUCKY POO!

I've just been shat on by a pigeon the size of a pterodactyl. This is karma for evicting these ones, isn't it?

"We buy 100% green energy" is a cop out large corporations take to not reduce their own energy consumption. Especially co-located data centres. The greenwashing is atrocious. They'll buy "green electricity" in south Korea to offset the dirty kWh they are consuming in Singapore. Accountancy tricks.

Don’t send me an unsolicited picture of your peewee cocktapus unless you want me to… A: find your mom’s Facebook B: find a picture she uploaded of you reminiscing about what a nice young man you were C: badly photoshop that into a locket D: convince you I’m your daughter. Happy Father’s Day Daddy.

So you're telling me the leader of Iran is not, in fact, the Ayatollah of Rock'n'Roller?

Asked Google AI to make me a picture of what I envisaged is under my kids' school... Smaug asleep on a treasure pile of lost school cardigans and water bottles. Very pleased with the result!

One of my ambitions is to make a working Count Duckula cuckoo clock. One day. One day.

Walked through an old man's farts at a garden centre today. Proper British bank holiday trip out.

A huge, quiet success: violence has fallen 75% in a generation:

"You shouldn't buy a new car. You're 86 and you've had 3 accidents in the past year" 2 months later... "I'm due to pick up the new car tomorrow and no one will insure me. What should I do?" Well, for a start you could try listening to your son in law 🤷

Has Israel blamed khamas yet?

#HappyToast #Eurovision #Drawalong Denmark