Ednor

So the governor of Montana has decided to *allow* citizens to exercise our first amendment rights. This is where we are right now under the fascist regime.

Guess what- you can express your outrage over that disgusting image without sharing it.

When history looks back, they’ll surely be dumbfounded at how the New York Times, once the “paper of record” for the US, bent themselves into unbelievable contortions in order to normalize the vile simpleton: “Trump Says His Unpredictable Style Gives Him Leverage. But It Has a Cost.”

Jesus Christ, does everything have to be about “oh, look how much mitochondria I have”?

One thing I got going for me? I’ve survived contact with the ground. Every time.

I do think yesterday’s results reinforced the dynamic that while much of the American leadership class is chickenshit, most of the electorate is not

Thanks a lot, God.

If I hit a home run to walk off game 7 of hte World Series there is no way I am touching home plate with pants on.

"We are awash in bullshit. And while Bannon famously advocated a 'flood the zone with shit' strategy, it was supposed to be a way to overwhelm the opposition, not a prelude to diving in headfirst. The shit was supposed to be a weapon … but today it’s the stream that carries the GOP forward."

Yeah, MAGA, I sit down when I pee. On your mom.

One thing the Proud Boys are really happy about is having someone else pay for their costumes.

Dropping the needle on the new #RobbieFulks record, Now Then. This is a big deal.

I did not say you “look like a toilet.” I said you have porcelain skin.

All the people who have “threatened” to release everything from the pee tape to the Epstein Files to Mike Johnson’s Grindr profile…it’s time to put up or shut up.

Man, what will I do with all my Bill Clinton shirts, hats, and flags now?

Damn, halfway through the first game of the season and my Dolphins have already been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.

Burying Ashli Babbitt with military honors has nothing to do with her or the Air Force. There is no honor involved in any of this. It’s only being done to antagonize the left. Or, you know, anyone with any decency.

Like your local health dept, my work around the house is largely complaint-driven.

The media is a cat. trump is the owner with the laser pointer. Oh, look, he’s on the roof! Chumps.

Looks like we’re deep into a Weekend at Bernie’s situation here.

Anyone who buys into this “third party” political theater between trump and musk is too stupid to deserve a vote.

@abigailspanberger.com Apologize for my ignorance! Spanberger sounds like a great choice. I’m just exhausted from 3+ year election campaigns.

Our bloated military, the world’s largest by far, is a big overpriced hammer and Iran is just another nail.

I’ve sold more books than Jake Tapper. a.co/d/djY8baX

USMC will celebrate their 250th anniversary November 10, 2025. 250 years of honor and pride will be flushed down the toilet the moment any Marine fires on an American citizen. They need to be reminded that they defend our Constitution, not a dictator.

If Musk left Trump and DC behind, why is Vance visiting him where he’s hiding out in Montana? There is no end to their deceit and dishonesty.

[first day as an undercover cop] PERP: hey man you got any coke ME: *whispering into hidden earpiece* is pepsi ok

gm

Working on a book called “I Want My Colon: Why It’s Impossible to Write a Nonfiction Book Without a Lengthy Subtitle.” So far all I have is the title.

Why is nobody talking about Hacks? It’s an absolutely brilliant series.

As Bob Wire, I’ll be dishing out the maximum honky tonk tomorrow evening at 6 pm in Hot Springs Montana! Stop by the Symes and I’ll tell you what pool to avoid.

Why isn't a fleet of helicopters just called hellacopters

So many layers of corruption.

Go peddle talking points somewhere else, Steve Daines. Here in #Montana, we’re not asking about someone’s definition of “woke.” We’re asking where the fire crews are, why our hospitals can’t keep their doors open, how our grain is supposed to move when Trump’s trade war shut down half our markets.

Beard culture has opened up my vagina to a whole new line of grooming products

Uh oh. Just discovered I got the v-neck on backwards. Gonna be one of those days.

🎶🎶🎶

The sad fact is that, while people who are enamored with reality show stars can vote for them to be president, they have no say in the NFL draft. #Shedeur

On Sept 11, 2001, 2,977 people died in terrorist attacks carried out by mostly Saudi Arabians. Never forget. Well, unless they offer you a fortune to play golf.

Every fart has value.

Boners can be useful for other things, you know. Like when you’re carrying 2 coffees and 3 donuts.

You start making puffed wheat at home and big cereal sends the smacks frog to deliver a message

These are the same people that were willing to let their grandparents die so they could eat at Arby's again without a mask

A BLATANT reminder that I will NEVER support Al or use it.

Way out of his depth, as is the rest of the Cabinet. Not a serious professional among them.

My dentist of 20+ years posted a rant in my timeline a couple weeks ago, then sent me a DM saying I should listen to Joe Rogan’s interview with Elon. I’d learn a lot. I’m seeing my new dentist tomorrow.

The barbarians are at the gate.

From my upcoming memoir: “In college, there was a girl who methodically screwed her way through the whole fraternity. Then she married the guy with the biggest dick.” Do you remember her name? “Sure. She’s my ex-wife.”

Deploying chemical weapons on the other white folks around us; it was good times