chris

when i grow up i want to be haunted

at what age can you no longer be kidnapped?

care for ur cute friends they are so easily scammed

lizards own trees??

if we don’t talk often it is illegal to call me twice in a row when i don’t pick up unless someone really is dead

classic picnic table ‘rang bang

looking for someone to sue, no bad ideas

only dating app i use is doordash

no tongue kiss option on finch??

risen n’ bake

i like my chaps assfull

tanning chatum

i’m sorry to say but if you are bald and wearing all black you are a cop

theyre cute but they drive a tesla, wdyd?

there’s also: being popular and staying popular

kiss me i’m here is my 23 and me

been back in chicago for 5 minutes and my hands are already dried out again

me talking to hermit crabs: why yall always have to be somewhere, nobody knows how to relax anymore

i’m a hand over hand girl myself

can you vape in first class?

if kids jumped jacks more theyd grow up to be tall

i wept

peter piper pooped a peck of pickled peppers

i dont do “smell my hand”

ambiance knowles

archipelavocado

hippopothesis

do yall stir your toothpaste first?

today my cat tickled my armpit for the first time, i am no longer safe in my own home

i will tell you right now i dont care how hot you are, im not petting your dog

am i poly or do i just have adhd?

someone come bleach my eyebrows and pierce my ears

i once bought something evil and now i just have to live with it

try to motivate me today, i bet u cant

everyone wants to try being gay on st patty’s day

sun sluts, our time is coming

howdy’s nuts

im struggling to figure out the symbolism of the prison break dream i just had

go get your “i’d like that”s bbs

i take edibles just for the moment where you remember you took an adible

[on deathbed] thinking about picking up guitar

i woke and boke this morning

i put the ay in fat tuesday

no tongue kiss option on finch??

wahoo in solitude, i believe that's biblical

i'm a spelling progidy