Eric Mallory Morgan

Wild that the Portland Thorns can end in the night in either 4th place or the 9th Circle of Hell

Paine Field, Everett, WA: An elderly couple began squabbling at security after attempting to carry-on homemade marionberry jam. The husband feebly argued the jam was dense enough to not really be considered liquid, garnering the hardest eye roll in recorded history from his wife. This is the PNW.

I’m rooting for a “Donald Trump’s suggested Iranian bombing targets” NLCS fwiw

Game 3 of the Dadbods vs Beer Bellies is excellent October television.

PLAYOFF BASEBALL IS SO GOOD

October Kiké is built different

“The computer which controlled the machines, Skynet, sent ARIKE OGUNBOWALE back through time. Her mission: to destroy the leaders of the human resistance, the Golden State Valkyries."

43 now… we’ll excuse that last free throw miss… seems like Arike has done enough.

Arike needs to buy a lottery ticket and a bunch of scratchers at Buc-ee’s when this shit is over.

Arike Ogunbowale with a facemelting 3. 93-93. 4 seconds left.

Eric Schmitt (R-MO) posterized… himself. Muahahahahahahaha

The Land of 10,000 Losses I see the Minnesota Lynx decided to yet again participate in the proud tradition of Minnesota sports teams colossally blowing it in the playoffs.

damn that's crazy. so was he totally free of emotions when he missed back-to-back-to-back game winning field goals against the Seahawks in 2005, just pure Being Bad At Kicking with no mental factors at all

Every time I hear Yaz Ryan’s name I think of the english synth pop duo. It’s a positive association.

I am no lawyer, but forcing Chicago to complete their final 4+ games feels like a violation of the eighth amendment (both for the players and fans).

Christ almighty this is awful, very brave of him to come forward. #NUFC

Tara Rudd is playing like Emma Hayes texted her last Saturday and told her she wasn’t getting an October call up

“Next time Bea, we amputate.” — Lorne Donaldson, probably

The GOAT

Direct hit! @roey.bsky.social is the Ukranian drone operator of WoSo bluesky posting. Precise, tactical, clever.

Uno just played the 🚫 card on Sam Kerr

HELL YEAH MORGAN WEAVER BET THAT FELT F*CKING GOOD

Dante’s Inferno: The Nine Circles of Hell.

Gotta give it to Portland, they aren’t boring! (Derogatory)

Taylor Suarez: eight seconds, two touches, one banger

Savy King to Maddie Dahlien (probably), “I was legally dead for 3 minutes, what’s your problem?!”

Big Game. Light crowd.

Sucks to suck.

The only thing that sucks worse than Ed Sheeran’s music is Ed Sheeran’s understanding of the word “complicit.”

only a select few players deserve a perma green light… Dominik Szoboszlai is one of them. Absolute facemelter.

Join! Ask us questions!

banda only making a million (plus) is insane, really bad actually

Maybe the Portland Thorns should stop hiring guys named Rob to manage the club.

So Trin’s bf is gonna get crushed straight sets, isn’t he?

Such a bummer that Ben Shelton isn’t there to support Trinity today. I know he’s got a little game or something later, but he plays tennis, which is not a serious sport and has nowhere near the global popularity of soccer.

You invited Ted Cruz onto College Game Day. What did you expect, Texas?

Ashley Sanchez says

DEAR GOD ASHLEY SANCHEZ THERE ARE CHILDREN IN ATTENDANCE

Oregon… wtf!!! Now, I’m sitting in a pool, dissociating… how’s your Saturday going?

*YEARS

This Oregon team is gonna take a year off of my life.