Oops! All Jazeera

Reagan’s national televised address if Big Bird had been on the Challenger: (Sobbing, clutching a Supergrover doll) Big Bird exploded! Big Bird exploded! (Slapping away his handlers) No! NO! Big Bird EXPLODED!

I choose to believe “Cindy Rothrock on the Known Limits” is not a subtitle of “women’s self-defense” but is about, like, existence, consciousness, how far the universe will allow us to go. Rothrock has kicked through countless doors of perception and boundaries between the real and unreal

Everyone talks about how Hellraiser and Event Horizon could both be in the Warhammer 40k universe. Yet no one ever brings up Gilmore Girls

Everyone talks about how Hellraiser and Event Horizon could both be in the Warhammer 40k universe. Yet no one ever brings up Gilmore Girls

Every single thing that has ever been depicted in a film or show was improvised, accidental, or a trick by the director to provoke a genuine response in an actor

I have just learned that Margaret Thatcher was, like Col. Sanders of KFC fame, a Kentucky Colonel, and I am struggling to articulate the way my life seems enormously and awfully altered now

I have just learned that Margaret Thatcher was, like Col. Sanders of KFC fame, a Kentucky Colonel, and I am struggling to articulate the way my life seems enormously and awfully altered now

To people who don’t believe that Kermit the Frog is real: What is the basis for your morality? Where does your moral standard come from?

One man is indirectly responsible for getting Andor made. The other got Dame Judi Dench to play Dungeons & Dragons with him. I’d call that close to even.

Hi, I didn't wanna make this video but I need to come clean about something. This whole time I've been a p-zombie with no phenomenal experience or interiority. I've been getting messages asking whether there's anything it's like to be me, and the answer is no. I'd say I'm sorry, but, well, you know.

It’s true Tim Curry was a lovely man, and I do understand what acting is. But it’s also true a part of me has finally unclenched, knowing Pennywise can never hurt me now.

Go-Bots recreate Lingua Ignota’s “ALL BITCHES DIE” album cover. Home Depot recreates the Napoleonic Wars. Your niece’s hamster releases an energy drink. The sound of rain on your rooftop becomes a muffin

You ever read that story about how the Target app knew a woman was pregnant before she did, just based on her purchases/online info? I’m suddenly getting a ton of spam for “burial insurance.”

I promise you it’s worth the wait to see the way this fucking thing collapses

Oh so now it’s ILLEGAL to eat Taco Bell? CDC death panels will refuse to treat American citizens with explosive diarrhea if they ordered a Crunchwrap Supreme? Is this the future liberals want? Would I actually blow the vaccine microchip controlling my brain out of my anus in a brown burst if I—

Kinda sounds more like she’s the one who stabbed him

The rate of regret on being prime minister is way higher than that of being trans

I think our culture has largely abandoned the concept of “selling out,” but I’d like to suggest that simping for Instagram’s algorithm, even if you are what I’m pretty sure is a completely made-up person, is a strong argument for reviving it

Well, that was a fucking ride.

I don’t see many truck nuts, thankfully, but I’m extremely motivated to buy a ton of these for the next dozen or so times I do

A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child.

If I were an action hero, this is what I’d say to the bad guy before the kill shot.

And if that weren’t bad enough, the Epstein files were in that rocket

I’m terrified that “micro influencer” may just be what social media CEOs call a regular person

Simply too seated, etc. Holy shit

Sounds great!

“Plus he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan” has fresh competition

I have a wild guess on the first mystery

Nothing can prepare you for who's singing this National Anthem (via lpaulfranklin / TT)

In unrelated news, I’m scrambling to complete a nuclear fallout shelter and I hope you’re doing the same

It’s nothing personal and I haven’t even heard one of his songs, but I just feel very strongly that this kid should not be allowed to have a music career

In love with this engraving of physicist Georg Wilhelm Richmann being killed by ball lightning while trying to study electricity. (The other guy lived.) Both because it seems like a really mean thing to illustrate, and because they both look like fighting game characters getting knocked backwards

your grandparents voting for reagan

Who can I petition to get Gens Z and Alpha renamed to something that isn’t so fucking lazy? I’m thinking Vibes Are Off and AI Slop, respectively

There’s a Cordwainer Smith story from the ‘40s, “Scanners Live in Vain,” that uses something similar. Simply being in outer space HURTS in a way that will eventually kill you, so spaceships are full of hibernators and one pilot who’s had almost all their senses removed. Smith went sicko mode on that

I can’t stop laughing at this picture of Barry Keoghan as Ringo Starr in these new Beatles movies. Looks like he’s in an SNL sketch about Ringo being an Unfrozen Caveman Drummer