Sloane, with an "e." You spell my name with an "e" at the end.

You can lead a horse to water. You can lead a horse to water. You can lead a horse to water and ask yourself why you're there. You can lead a horse to water and you can lay down in the waves and let the white noise swallow you. You can lead a horse to water, but she won't drag you out.

Headphones were invented by the devil to distract you from the beatific noise of god's broken floor waxer running full blast right next to you in the grocery store at three in the afternoon while you're trying to buy a Rockstar for some fucking reason.

Life is like a box of chocolates: Someone else already ate all the buttercream and caramel ones, and you're only having any because they've been on the counter for three days.

Cynics BANNED from local dog park for an incredible reason. More at 11:00.

The mirror is an evil instrument. Knowledge of the self should only ever be mediated through the other. Privacy is the siren call of death.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force her to confront that her belief in the insurmountability of her hydrophobia is a maladaptive behavior engendered by a system whose primary function is to make legible to the state the delineation between untermenschen and functional laborers.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drown you.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why are you looking so morose?" So the horse says, "I'm just tired of it all Steven. The math problems, the stamping, the dressage. I'm broken and there aren't enough apples in the world to fix me."

It's so crazy ancient Greeks were just out there naming their sons shit like "Horse Fucker."

I don't get the hype around Umamusume. I'm already a horse daughter, bud. It ain't like that.

The difference between "fish" and "horse" is that horses know of sin.

Avril Lavigne is the mother of the guy from Maroon 5.

It's time we talk about the agrocivilizationist implications of the term "Aura Farming."

The self-fulfilling prophecy is the crowning achievement of good business management.

Good game. Go play it. My stomach hurts.

"Horse" is the woman of "animal."

I saw a video of a guy talking to a sperm whale yesterday, like he learned how to say hi then they played by doin flips in the ocean and shit

Christian Broutin

Every American thinks of themselves as the Big Mac. The Big Mac is satire of you guys, you know that right

You’re going to want to keep the language you use to worship your deity separate from the language you use in Wendy’s commercials. Big problem with Protestantism

I'm like a sponge. Squeeze me.

Thinking of making another self portrait later.

The cynics were right about everything, which is basically worthless.

Would you guys cry if I got hot again?

I seem to give off the impression that I'm a hypersexual pervert, but actually I am merely Scandinavian.

10 Hours Binaural Beats Earwax Dislodging Hypnosis ASMR.

You need a higher Ferocious Visionary skill to access my additional conversation options, playboy.

I'm having cigarettes injected later.

Sorry I've been gone, everyone. I got new shoes.

I think a lot more of you would be interested in Tijuana Bibles than you realize.

Do any of you idiots even think about fish at all?

Sweden if Jesus died in a horrible BDSM-related accident.

Hello Kitty, honey, you can't be doing that.

i knew it i knew her posts were funny ... tumblr lied to us

Do you guys think I'm pretty? Would you bet on it? How much money would you put down? My bookie will be by later.

Okay Siri, how to talk like a fucking moron?

The artwork of Pac-Man by Hiro Kimura made for the #Atari2600 release which went unused for being "too ferocious". It's a total departure from the game but also a really cool and goofy piece. Still a bit cropped on the bottom. Usual upscale/clean/retouch process applied.

I will straight up kill this vibe if I have to.

I was worried if my comic is perhaps too self indulgent, but then I remembered the words of Björk and now I need to make it even more self indulgent 🥰

Can I get real with you guys for a second?

My intense gaze terrifies the shorties.

my Large Adult Son has the delicately carved torso of a flute. every mellifluous breath flows over his oesophagal reeds in one organic note. if you put a finger in his bellybutton it blows a c#. plug his ass with two thumbs and you get a b-minor flat 7. child protective services wouldn't understand,

Should I buy a new fighting game I can't afford and won't play?

I'm so sorry for my perfect, rocking pussy.

Just a round squishy doodle.