free Via 📐

when ur cycling it's called a balaklava but when ur running it's a gaiter... okay 🙄

Colombo: A likable cop who wields his power mainly to go after crooked rich people there has been no more fantastic concept in the history of entertainment

No disrespect but ur butt is fat and very stinky

Rays gotta be feeling extremely demoralized after this inning

cycling in the rain lowkey rules ass because I have the gear to stay dry and there's pretty much nobody else out there riding 🌧️ 🚴‍♂️

when u accidentally burn the weed you were only trying to vape and are just smoking weed <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

isn't it great when the cat crawls into your robe to hang out, and you give her a little squeeze while she's in there and you feel her purr get deeper and louder while you apply pressure

still feel like I'm withdrawing from being able to watch baseball most of the day

picking the booger upstairs where there's barely any carpet to wipe it on <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

jfc folks

Jane Fond of what? Nobody ever says

I have never felt embarrassed to be a Firefox user but those TV ads are pushing it

mashing potatoes and broccoli together like I'm feeding a child that doesn't like vegetables

green pay backers

found a nail in the backyard yesterday that had been left on the ground by the contractors my neighbor hired to replace part of the fence when it poked directly into my finger unexpectedly thanks, fellas

when watching football always mute the tv for commercials, the national anthem, and Tom Brady

i don't need to know where my package is on a map, thanks

when the football coach is holding the clipboard up to their face but the camera angle is actually such that you can see their mouth anyway >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

when Ray Parker Jr. says, "I can't hear you!" towards the end of the Ghostbusters theme it's like, of course you can't, dude; you are recording this music in the past relative to when I'm listening to it right now and we are also in different places

fully submerge every piece of cereal in milk or just fill up partially and stir the cereal to distribute the milk more uniformly??

every time I rinse residue out of a can of cat food I think about how it could have rather NOT stuck to the can and say, "they shorted my little kitty 😠"

play at the plait

hats off to Corona for finding the guy with the whitest possible voice to read the "la playa awaits" copy

Tom Laundry

watching good porn is like watching the Olympics

just put my drill in a vise then velcro strapped the trigger and used it like a lathe

your egg sandwich is dripping > wipe it up with the dry edge of bread > let it go

ads on TV for companies with billions of dollars are always an interesting glimpse into some of the most stilted concepts of reality that currently exist I can't really fathom the world the "creatives" that churn out that shit believe they inhabit

it's called Bitch at?

looking like the last few days have skewed the results of this, heh circmoji.bsky.fans

yup, when ur born ur filter is wide open but as u age less and less of the oscillators' frequencies make it into ur consciousness

i think a lot of the time when we think of guitar we don't realize what an inflection point the steel string acoustic was. like that shit was crazy, loud enough to play parties like a piano was the big thing. this was heavily influenced by black musicians and banjo stuff so it's erased frequently

Crap crap crapping in heaven's bowl

Ooh, you can pants, you can jive Having the time of your life Ooh, see that girl, watch that scene Digging the pantsing queen

I can imagine the Crypt keeper hysterically laughing at himself saying everyone's cute little punny Halloween screen names

Runnin with the dev ol'

guy who calls strips of bacon "sticks" of bacon

getting on a first name basis with everyone who has ever lived

these meta ads are straight dogshit

taking entropy personally