frotus.bsky.social

Nick Offerman loves to dress as bearbait 24/7 but his Margo's Got Money Troubles look is killing me

I got Hondavirus from Lana Del Rey's messy car

A mean gay guy on Twitter came up with a good nickname for the de rigeur gay guy look: "Berlin Burner." Boy I cannot wait for this phase to be fully metabolized and DONE.

I'm the only person Dr. Orna allowed to go on Couples Therapy as a single person. I'm just that interesting!

Hey

If Sheena Easton sang about having a cold in my apartment it’d probably go like “🎤 things are getting dry inside my Booger Walls 🎶”

I’m setting my production of Marat/Sade inside the “Khia Asylum”

I've been testing out some of my former tweets here. Results inconclusive. Negative outlook for becoming a different kind of gay guy on this site.

What if, like Britney Spears, all I long for is to be held in a pool by Bill de Blasio

We need to consider the terrifying possibility that Bill de Blasio currently has a "revenge body"

If you're a straight person on Twitter, which I'm not sure if we don't talk about here, you can earn viral fame by tweeting something desperately unfunny about "beers," drinking at the airport, or ideally, "airport beers"

Every day I beat a former Pete's Candy Store rival at LinkedIn Games is a day I earn my place on this unhappy planet

Someone on here said that sticking with Twitter is like if Der Sturmer had a really good crossword… but like… it does…

really coming down out there... not!!!!

Some say that Jia Zhangke's films' true subject is the nature of time. But they are wrong. His films' subject is wigs.

Nw. Took my Iranian grandfather to see this in the theater & toward the end I looked over at him & he had the most confused look on his face & when it was over he didn’t say a word to anyone in the car & went right to bed when we got home. Congo irreparably damaged our relationship. Two thumbs up

Herr Professordoktor Tooze only posts here now and that may be what finally moves me to this site. No offense intended, you guys are nice. But nice is not my thing.

Listening to my friends argue about if there’s a new Hess truck every year

You better not be a cunty Jack o lantern when I get there

Got an email from “Dr. Wig…” who I assume is a Roberta Bobby character

Fighting the urge to reread all the Akira comics. Not sure why I’m posting here and not elsewhere

And Just Like that confirms what we’ve long known: Charlotte got the gorilla grip

Corny ppl at work talking about trying to get invited here… gonna be bad soon

Comedians ‘N’ (Rupi) Kaur Getting Coffee

removing the green plastic penis from my flonase bottle cracking the lid and taking a little sip of that nasty juice inside

Working on a dramedy set at the Academy Motion Picture Home for aging actors and calling it Getting Entourage

Welcome to BlueSky. I’m the first gay guy here to be a little bit homophobic. All the rest of you have to get a new gig

Murdered by a werebear last night in my video game… happy pride

Checking my works comp docs to see if I still qualify for my bonus while in a coma

My work laptop is 2 years older than my tenure at my job and this bitch is even more ready to quit than me

I wonder if this website will ever have a post as weird as Mia Farrow’s about Myst

Now that I’m on freak mode, time to invent some new slurs!