Meredith Haggerty

When Harry Met Sally and The Sure Thing are both directed by Rob Reiner and both feature a romantically-charged road trip of convenience between opposite sex strangers who go to the same college

People freaking Magazine wrote about this post as if it were real. If you have a normal brain, I cannot overstate how much People Magazine is usually a trusted source for celeb news, but they got duped. www.theverge.com/ai-artificia...

War’s fine and Youth is cool but is there only One British Boy?

Tonight for the first time I talked to a busboy and thought like “could I be your mum?” And yeah probably!

I am angry tonight. Because tonight ICE shot a New Yorker. They shot a New Yorker while his five year old child was in the car. ICE makes this city less safe. We want them out. Now.

Thinking wistfully about that little window after peak Covid but before AI.

The rudest thing that’s happened to me lately is Pluto starting a channel called “Quirky AF” and every time I scroll past it it’s playing something I like. I, Chungus.

Buy your booze news from Dave today!

NEW: For months, I've been reporting & writing this longform feature on "the ones who saw this coming" — AI safety researchers who have for years been warning about the risks of rogue AI. I was even with them on the day news broke of the OAI-Hugging Face attack. Gift link below.

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Street Easy listings should have comments sections

I still can’t believe Bush drew 9/11

By the transitive property of biopic parents, Anthony Bourdain and Priscilla Presley are brother and sister

I don’t like that we broke our reality into its component parts and now have it spit back in freakish reassembly

They're HERE

I just finished Jury Duty season 2 and I kind of think the casting department should be in charge of finding our elected officials

I fucking hate being Samuel

I used Just Salad’s “Salad AI” feature to break out of my same-same lunch rut and while assuming it was just cutesy branding recommending me a normal-ass salad, ended up with a lettuce-free bowl of cabbage and lentils wtf it’s so purple

I am coming to believe we need a better quality of AI booster www.theverge.com/ai-artificia...

One Night Only should maybe be illegal as a film but it is my only interest so I wrote this hoping to force more people to talk to me about it. (Gift link) bit.ly/4wQ6sgg

I barely caught what "the Purge but for sex" movie was actually about even though I've been forced to watch the trailer several times. @meredithhaggerty.bsky.social:

It’s so upsetting that I have no way to reply to this unnaturally aggressive message to tell Mark Kelly that Samuel has been sidelined by cyclosporia that he only GOT because his WORK WIFE absolutely BULLIED him into gorditas supreme

I’ve started writing fan fiction for Samuel in my head when these texts come in (6 since I sent this): he’s not donating because he spent all his money on custom Zazzle shirts celebrating his favorite show, 9-1-1: Lone Star.

My phone number is on some very normie Dem donor text list where they think my name is Samuel and it’s so much more annoying?? Having James Carville and Haley Stevens text me and call me “Samuel” makes me feel specifically powerless

The Five Star Weekend REALLY hits

EVERYONE CELEBRATE DAVE'S BDAY. SUBSCRIBE TO FINGERS.

Starting a rumor that the smoke is Odyssey viral marketing, turning everything sepia and invoking burning cities in ancient war

Eating no vegetables and breathing in smoke; I’m a Dickensian child

We can see this in the ICE flight data. Domestic “round-up” flights are spiking, and some activist flight watchers report the flights are getting fuller. But deportation and removal flights remain steady. This means the concentration camps are getting packed to the brim. It’s awful to comprehend.

I know this is not the biggest concern going these days, but it stresses me out that basically every artist/writer/critic is now expected to create their own tiny empire instead of getting paid by any existing entity to perform a job they've worked to get good at!!!!

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I’m genuinely so tired of knowing what other people think

My mayor is Muslim My bagel is Jewish My guitar teacher is Dan Smith Knicks in the fifth

Why does every brand tell me my order is “winging its way” to me? You just shipped it, it’s not Hermes, calm down.

pretty crazy how blatant the ending of the late show is just an act of government censorship lol

All sports posts are like vague posts to me, especially when they have proper nouns. Logging into social media, seeing the same word a bunch of times in a row, and realizing, “guess gotta find out who, what, or where a Wemby is.”

I would literally carry Grogu inside my body if they’d let me but I will not see that movie; this marketing anomaly should be studied

I blame Substack. The single worst development for the literary world in the last few decades.

I just don’t think it’s fair that the only way to get me to stop watching TikToks in bed is for ME to stop watching TikToks and also get up out of bed? Like we’re putting an awful lot of this problem on me, on my plate.

Running Point is charming and honestly I have enjoyed every one of Mindy Kaling’s shows except Velma which she notably did not write (I thought she had?)

Gotta respect the accidental coherence of: "So many people keep trying to murder me because of my widely reported participation in a sex trafficking ring of global elites, that I INSIST on having a golden, fortified ballroom." Like, yeah, I guess the same person would be into both of those things.

The Trump fake assassination attempts will continue on a regular schedule until his poll numbers rise. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Gonna get a little drunk and write “wow. kids???” on all the positive reviews of Michael on Letterboxd

What a week.

I watched three TV shows tonight (Margo’s Got Money Troubles, Abbott Elementary, and Your Friends & Neighbors) and all of them had an OnlyFans mention, if not a plot line if not THE plot line.

Something has happened and my Reels feed (which is mostly people being funny on purpose) is more pleasing to me than my TikTok feed (which is mostly strangers obscurely alluding to other strangers’ personal drama, with occasional updates on still other personal drama and tummy ads).