Funkhauser

Beddgelert (a) I’m 3 cans of Murphy deep and the M&S snacks have been opened. Cheers lads.

This is the best news for Brazilian wood since they gave Pele cock pills.

Please let there be at least one incidence of DCL rag-dolling O’Nein all over the place.

Funny how ‘diving’ used to be a cardinal sin in the game, but somewhere along the way it became absolutely standard and accepted for players to feign injury after almost every foul and 50/50 tackle.

Yer ma. The sequel.

Fucking. Hell.

Got 2 standing tickets for The Coral at the Albert Hall in Manchester tomorrow night. A school-boy error of getting my dates wrong means we can't make it now - so they're going to waste. Any takers?

What a line this is on the Beeb website. Someone should let Carrick know. “Oh, you watch a few games do you, you should have said!”

New Bicep album coming out soon! 💪🏼

Can’t put my finger on why - but James Maddison winds me up. Seems to carry himself like someone who thinks he’s one of the greats.

Chris Sutton has predicted we win 5-0 today on his BBC website prediction thing. The mad bastard.

I swear Owen Hargreaves uses a different vowel every time he says ‘Cole Palmer’ Cool Parma Cohl Pwarma Cahl Pooma

Got an agency job working for the Highways Agency in my teens. Thought I’d be cutting about the M6 in the back of one of their vans. Cushy number. Turned up at their depot at 6am and was presented with a bucket, sponge, and a mountain of traffic cones to clean. Lasted 2 days.

Shaka Demus & Pliers - Twist & Shout

Women be shreddin

Looks like the Lion Tavern is getting a long overdue lick of paint. #pubwatch

Double-dropped a Covid and Flu jab earlier and the comedown has hit me hard. Feel terrible here lads.

I see West Ham scored 6 and Piroe played 90 but didn’t score. Slightly concerned we get him back next summer. Intrigued to know what the trigger is for the sale to complete. #LUFC

Cracking game of Gazprom breaking out at the Etihad.

Two episodes into Time. Its obviously very good. Powerful stuff, well acted, etc. But.. The bit in the second ep where they're showing the mum around the wing and his cell, then the memorial service in the prison chapel. All feels a bit 'unlikely' for a programme about the reality of life inside.

Had a mate who hated the taste of beer when we started drinking in our teens (suppose we all did!). He loved an alcopop - was roundly mocked for it - so got back on the beers, and he pulled this face for every sip of beer he had for about the next 10 years.

Goal of the Month on MOTD there. Long-range bangers are back baby.

Has Rooney been using a Time Machine as well as the jabs?!

I'm largely in the 'not that arsed' camp on all this, but who amongst us wouldn't absolutely love the fume that would come from someone like Cherki or Enzo giving it the big 'fingers to the lips' celebration to the Kop after putting them 3-0 up.

Not sure I’m prepared for the full-on festival of integrity later from the koppites.

Be great fun if Spurs were shit again this year.

Is that last name a typo? Who the fuck is he?!

Turns out it was problematic…

Real shame Tanaka got a yellow. Suspect Farke will hook him before long. Strange half from Okafor. Looked a threat but almost every pass or cross seemed to go astray. Expect Bruno on in 2nd for them. Could be problematic. #LUFC

Some Junior Football to watch this morning. Big Danny Farke’s Super Whites on the TV at lunch. Dropping Mrs F off in Chester after that. The key to the rest of my day is if I’m expected to provide the taxi home later therefore putting an end to my plan for a takeaway and #cans.

James Blunt looks like my 70yr old auntie Pat.

New Jamie T is a belter lads

Funny. Fascinating. Terrifying.

Got tickets a while back to see The Coral in Manchester later this month. Just checked the ticket email. I’d forgotten I’d only paid THIRTY POUND a ticket. Honestly for a split second thought I’d made a horrible mistake and booked a tribute band. Can’t remember last time I paid that for a gig.

Some story this... Amazing that football still has this issue. I might be being naive here - considering some of the stuff I hear at Leeds match (from home and away btw) - but I'm convinced the majority would respond with a shrug of the shoulders to a high profile player coming out as gay.

BBC Executives 1964-2011

Absolutely going off in our back garden lads.

Just cut the grass and now having couple of garden #cans. In October! But yes I see that Bangkok is currently underwater. #weatherchat

Just deftly negotiated a Vinted disagreement with my 5 star rating intact. Send me over to Ulster lads. I’ll get it sorted.

Shame the shite sponsor lettering hasn’t stood the test of time.

Hope the BBC’s Safeguarding Officer is keeping an eye on Ross Kemp’s red wine consumption.

Orbital’s 1994 Glastonbury set AND Sasha/Digweed Northern Exposure both released this week. We are truly blessed. Any Garys?

Cocaines popular innit? It’s not for me though Clive.

The GBOL from the RNLI collecting donations at Central Station there. Loads stopping to contribute. Great to see. ✊🏼

Junior football watched. Fry-up consumed. Outfit selected. Into town for an afternoon of beers and merriment. Starting at Peter Cavanagh’s. See where the afternoon takes us from there.

I’ve had a go, but I just can’t give a shit about these Man City charges. So utterly disinterested in it all.

Ah man, what a shit thing to happen. Hope he can get back to making music again, but doesn’t sound likely.

Are you having a laugh? He's having a laugh, isn't he?!