georgeorgeorge

I want to take his face off. Face off.

concrete jungle wet dream tomato!

good luck to my baby’s sleep tonight

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

This looks more like you'll be able to create an alias of sorts for your current account; since you'll still receive emails intended for your "old" email address, it doesn't really turn the old one off. You could create a filter to sort it out for you but technically it'll still be there.

We were doing some mimicking this morning: Me: Mamamama baby: mamamama Me: baba baby: baba Me: bababababa baby: bababababa Me: * loud fart * baby: boooooot

Dear Diary, Today I broke a sweat cleaning a diaper pail

thots and prayers

some shit is about to go down

About half the time I type “have“ into my ipad with a keyboard, it‘s replaced with the word “haven’t”

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed.

been wondering how our miele vacuum has been so efficient and, seemingly, never needing a bag change. turns out the bag was mis-installed and now the inside of the machine is filled with crap.

hey that’s *my* neighborhood!

timeline cleanser youtube.com/shorts/hCQh5...

Dashboard Confessional voice: cat hair is everywhere

Just discovered the Twist works for this Strokes song and I’m the oldest 40-something on a dance floor in Bushwick

buying a pomegranate is an act of hope

Love it when a plan comes together

Having A Great Time With Phone Case Decision Paralysis

after changing my son’s diaper, i stop to scoop the cat litter before washing my hands me: i deserve a Black Belt in Six Sigma

Something extremely satisfying to finishing a meal at a pizza place and using exactly the fistful of napkins you grabbed from the dispenser

"Largest study of its kind shows AI assistants misrepresent news content 45% of the time – regardless of language or territory" www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

i enjoy Laufey‘s music but did anyone at youtube music read the description before putting her at the top of the list?

Someone is going to be a potato chip bag stuffed with a red envelope (stuffed with cash) for Halloween

Return to office be like youtube.com/shorts/XTScr...

Just watched There Will Be Blood for the first time, in a few stints across a couple days, mostly while holding my baby boy

When I was little my parents referred to a man by his last name, Black. I thought a color couldn’t be called the same. For a few confusing days in preschool, I kept screaming my crayons were missing “the other red.” No idea why I accepted that there were two different reds, but only one Black.

I've had my old (pre-2016) mp3 collection on shuffle and it keeps killing me over and over and over again Spotify could never

I was working at the US Open and briefly ended up in an elevator with Tyra Banks. We admitted to each other that we knew nothing about tennis nor how it was scored. I’ve since learned. I assume she has, too 🤷

@gamechangershow.bsky.social We’re doing this

I don’t know why we don’t use rootin-tootin to describe breastfed babies and their farts but we should

Doordash is expensive because they mailed me 87 postcards endorsing Cuomo. Here’s my referral link to their competitor: www.delivery.com/share?code=f...

dug up some folders with over 444hrs of mp3s i collected 1996–2016 and scratching an itch neither youtube music nor spotify could ever satisfy

The adrenaline rush wore off yesterday and I started crashing pretty hard last night. I’ve heaved a few times already. Feels like the hangover after working a four day conference with parties every night. Minus the regret.

i can't seem to sneeze without buying a new domain

Of course, George Kong's child is going to be late. T+1 (and counting)...

Pulitzer worthy

REPLACE ALL INSTANCES OF: "Does a bear shit in the woods?" and "Is the Pope Catholic?" with "Does the Pope shit on the Bears?"

When #midwives are by women's side through pregnancy & birth, health outcomes improve & women are happier with their care. To improve the health of mums & babies, WHO urges countries to invest in lifesaving #midwifery models of care. 🔗 bit.ly/4djYHWE #DayofTheMidwife

a scene from every millennial wedding youtube.com/shorts/KFQbg...

I've noticed something from working with older folks and their technology — some don't seem to grasp the subtle differences between windows-in-focus vs what's in the "background." The ability to quickly recognize where the device wants us to focus is a learned skill.

i'm haunted by music played by women-from-my-dating-life

List five famous people you’ve met but one is a lie: - Alton Brown - E. Jean Carroll - Lady Gaga - Malcolm Gladwell - Josh Gad