GhostOfEmcee

what video game changed your life?

sup players? Felt gross, will delete

WIN: Virginia Democrats have officially banned convicted domestic abusers from purchasing firearms. Nearly every Republican voted against it.

If a guy named Pete can't ejaculate does he have to sign a nonCUMpete when he goes to the sperm bank?

She probably wants to spend more time lying to her family www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/m...

"Super nut nourishing ballm" GROSS

Old skool skater gear

All this time you thought af stood for “as fuck,” but TYL it actually stands for “ass fuck.”

In honor of Bluesky trends, ima let him hit it doggypile style tonight.

🎶The pervs are back in town🎶

1 save = 1 perv

I just had to do 12 flights of stairs

"like not nip out"

Welcome to Bluesky.

Please, call me Dinosaur Jr. Dinosaur Sr. was my father.

Munchausen sounds like a cute little German cafe.

"like not nip out"

I like the cut of your jizz

damn how sad is my life that the person asking me for boob pics is my daughter

the thing I'll miss most about summer is my tan

GIVE ME MENOPAUSE OR GIVE ME DEATH

Just started my period and I’m not trying to be dramatic or anything but can someone kill me?

your honor, you're so judgmental

your honor, I don't quite like your tone

the guy who runs a communist account I follow on Insta messaged me and said he thinks I'm "seriously beautiful." I think he might wanna be my cumrade. I'll bet he wanted to message me for awhile but has been Stalin.

podcast bros wanted to say slurs so badly that now most of our food has poison in it

Hey men, I bought you something

You can't spell degenerate without "g-r-e-a-t"

😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

my daughter showed her college friends a pic of me and they said, "your Mom's baddie as fuck" and I'm going to be riding this high for at least a week.

Shopping with my daughter and her bestie/roommate/“sister” today and if I hear “butt plug” one more time, ISTG. My Costco card fell out of my back pocket and they were like, “IS THAT YOUR BUTT PLUG MOM?!” I mean, it is, butt still.

I’ve had worse dates

Things I miss: 1. My metabolism 2. Civility 3. Someone I’ve never met but already love 4. My daughter 5. My old account 6. BBK 😥

I hate to use the c-word, but you’re a real chungus

When I get home and take off my bra at the end of a long day I like to sigh & declare, “ahhh, I rest my Ks.”

Oh, so only YOU can wear a robe, Your Honor?

I really love that my local Target has a Starbucks. Having both at the same location really makes it so much more convenient to boycott.

Turns out a pillow salesman with a selfish-ass brand name who used to be a crack addict doesn't make a good gubernatorial candidate after all. Hmmmm, who woulda thunk it? (Me. I thunk it.)

He never paid the filing fee then sued claiming he shouldn’t have to pay the filing fee. And lost. Because that’s what Lindell does - lose all the time, claim he was cheated, sues, then loses in court. Over and over and over again since 2021.