Clark Griswold

I’m new here so let me introduce myself- There once was a man named Griswold, Whose holiday plans were quite bold. With lights strung up high, And a reindeer that’d fly, His Christmas was wild and uncontrolled! Follow for more limericks

There once was a man named Donald, Whose dreams were both bold and unbridled. Canada and Greenland he sought, The Canal and Gaza he fought, In his quest, the world was quite startled. #51stState #Greenland #panamacanal #theGazaStrip

In circles where DEI is the tale, MAGA murmurs start to prevail. They insist it's a guise, To prioritize, Anyone not a straight white male.

In a house filled with lights all aglow, I wish you a Christmas to grow! With laughter and cheer, Family draws near, May joy be the gift that you sow!

In a world where roles were playfully spun, Elon's ventures were second to none. And by his side, with flair and sway, Was Donald, the First Lady, leading the way? www.huffpost.com/entry/jimmy-...

For Onion merch made with love and spite, Order soon to make your season bright. By Wednesday, don't delay, For holiday display, Priority shipping will bring delight!

In a school where young voices once played, A shadow of sadness is laid. For those little ones, so bright, Gone from our sight, Their Christmas dreams quietly fade.

In Madison's halls, terror took flight, While leaders offered prayers, not the fight. With each tragic tear, They whisper, "We're here," Yet action remains out of sight.

In Madison's halls, terror took flight, While leaders offered prayers, not the fight. With each tragic tear, They whisper, "We're here," Yet action remains out of sight.

Larry Hogan gazed up with a groan, Saw Orion and thought they were drones. "Invasion!" he cried, As the stars merely sighed, For their twinkle was all they had shown!

If Trump keeps controls tight on chips, America's edge won't slip. But if he lets them go, To China, we might bow, Mark this as the key to his grip.

Cousin Eddie in his RV so fine, Said, "The sewer's a real goldmine!" With a grin and a cheer, He toasted cold beer, "Here's to Christmas and good old moonshine!"

If fear of hell's fire makes you kind, True goodness you may never find. For virtues sincere, Need no threat to steer, In a heart where true kindness is lined. #ChristianValues

As holidays twinkle, CNN's plight, Ratings dipped low, a wintry sight. With stories so grim, Their sparkle grew dim, In a festive fall from viewer's delight!

In December, a letter was sent, By sixty who voiced their intent. For justice, they write, To make wrongs turn right, And bring hope where the sorrow was pent. apple.news/AlVc8pK5PTXO...

With laughter, I face each new day, As the world spins in its own way. Though my hopes may have dashed, And my dreams feel quite brash, I’ll embrace all the love on display! @jimgaffigan.bsky.social www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-gaf...

In the Delta, where shadows loom wide, Lies a barn where dark secrets abide. Emmett’s fate, a grim tale, Injustice prevails, Yet silence still tries to hide. www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/the...

With the holidays bringing such glee, I’m one follower short, can it be? On Bluesky, I’m close, To that magical boast, A hundred—oh, what a sight it would see!

In a world where care often seems skewed, Women’s health needs are infrequently viewed. Erectile dysfunction gets funds that are vast, At $1.24 billion, it’s quite a contrast, While endometriosis gets just $44 million, it’s rude! #womenshealth apple.news/AVQFfyNdBRSK...

On Thanksgiving, the Bears felt the sting, As late-game blunders took wing. Coach Eberflus gone, With hopes now withdrawn, Chicago seeks change for the spring! apple.news/A8WIRlB3ERXm...

In a twist of the holiday cheer, Elon chose Trump's home, it was clear. With a feast laid out wide, His own kids pushed aside, Thanksgiving with Donald, oh dear! www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...

Flava Flav’s thankful, it’s true, To Swifties, who always come through, With StubHub in hand, Flav’s making a stand, And gifting some tickets to you!

In the shadow of Trump’s loud reign, A father’s love turned to pain. With rants that were vile, He lost his own style, And left behind sorrowful strain.

With moisture that cooks from the skin, A juicy bird's where you begin, At three twenty-five, Let the turkey thrive, And avoid a Thanksgiving sin!

In Fort Lauderdale, quite a sight, Trump and Zuckerberg shared a bite. With plans to renew, And interests in view, They dined with holiday cheer that night! apnews.com/article/face...

In Moscow, the rouble's in plight, Gazprombank's sanctions took flight. VTB's leader explained, Foreign flows have been drained, Leaving markets to tremble with fright. www.reuters.com/business/fin...

The CEO of IKEA did say, “Tariffs will lead prices astray! As we deck out our halls, And make holiday calls, Wallets might lighten this holiday!” www.cnn.com/2024/11/27/b...

Optimism and doubt now collide, As hopes for the future divide. With polls that now sway, In a holiday way, America's heart seems to bide. apple.news/AZwY6ZKfhQsq...

Russ Vought dreams of a nation anew, Where Christian ideals guide all we do. With budgets to steer, He'll push forth his cheer, And reshape the state with his view. talkingpointsmemo.com/news/the-chr...

In a land where the tariffs could rise, Sheinbaum met Trump with sharp eyes. With talk of a fee, She said, "Wait and see, We'll respond, and we'll do it with pride!" #TrumpTariffs apnews.com/article/mexi...

In a town where the guitars do play, Trump's brand has come out to sway, But Gibson's not keen, On this strumming machine, So they've sent a cease and desist his way! www.guitarworld.com/gear/electri...

In the season where joy can be found, Epshteyn stirred whispers all around. With hints of deceit, His actions replete, In a scandalous game that confounds! www.ksdk.com/article/news...

On a festive day filled with cheer, Hegseth's plans bring a chill, that’s clear. A states' meet to rewrite, What’s wrong and what’s right, While the future seems dim, we all fear.

At the White House, I met him one day, Trump's comment just ruined my sway. He grinned, oh so crude, With such a lewd mood, "Dirty bastard!" was all I could say.

In a season where cheer should abound, A candidate's views are quite profound. With ties to Moscow she sways, And Putin she praises, Yet her skills in the role are less sound.

In a season of chaos and cheer, Trump's top aide faces scrutiny here. With lawyers in tow, The scandals will grow, Tune in for updates, lend an ear!