Marv

American cars are too complicated now. When will Detroit again make a car I could steal one piece at a time over several years?

New coworker had to have using a camera explained to her I'm going to collapse into dust

The biographical timeline at Little Rock's Bill and Hillary Clinton national airport is so funny because it gives "dedication of an airport that will fly you to DFW" and "stopping a genocide" even billing

Neither were horses but we figured it out

The relief I felt when none of the listed schools was a place I went, worked at, took money from, or gave money to. Also lol at Hillsdale being premier anything

I recently had an inheritance of about that much and it brought forward a refrigerator purchase. I guess imagine a sitcom dad claiming that's life changing because of the reduction in nagging you to fix the fridge agai

This is such fun easy bait "i think a pod of ichthyosaurs could defeat the USS Gerald Ford" "Ric flair could beat up the entire Swiss guard"

The “Kubrick Stare" is one of Stanley Kubrick's most recognizable directorial techniques, a method of shot composition where a character stares at the camera with a forward tilt, to convey to the audience that the character in question is at the peak of their derangement.

Once in my office hours a kid got hit with a "I mean we know each other, we're not really friends" and guys I would rather have been sat on a plane to Incheon next to a couple as one of them suggested divorce

People hate Matt Iglesias so much it makes them illiterate. Secretary of defense Pete I think you will find my proposal to aerosolize the dose of his tweets to be a worthy 6.1 basic research program

It's interesting to me that, contra this website, my brother in a traditionally creative field uses AI to rewrite his emails to strike the exact respectable tone he wants while my engineer ass just throws out sentence fragment replies followed by my initials

Yes it's funny that anthropic thought they could bribe or intimidate the guy who holds the Office of the Keys, but they're not even the first guys to do it

One time I was eating lunch with a friend in his truck in a nice neighborhood and we had a cop called on us. He was obviously annoyed and told us this was his second call of the shift and the first was about a guy playing NPR too loudly while doing yardwork

Oh. Did that work?

We simply need to find the people who are passionate about garbage collection youtu.be/Bz2-49q6DOI?...

It's this kind of thing that makes me like the DND alignment system even if everyone else hates it. I'm glad a third axis has been added, but I think any more will make it unwieldy.

1 that's a different problem. 2 who the fuck are you? 3 who do you think I am?

The gopher in my backyard is getting things delivered by FedEx

Emma Frost in X-Men (2000)

Most people hear remote and assume controller but the Google remote is actually mostly buffs and healing

I guess I can see how confidently arguing at length about something you don't know about and are wrong about could be an asset in law practice. But I also think that is a scathing indictment of the field.

Pleased that my 9 month old has abandoned her "fuck reading" stance. Even if she has entered a "demand to be read brown bear brown bear 5 times in a row" phase

When you equip the best stuff in Cyberpunk outfit

Excellent point we gotta increase the conviction rate for being young in public

Would you kindly cut the table ties with scissors?

I suggest anyone starting a new instrument to get a baby, my kid reacted to me tuning a banjo like I reacted to listening to scary monsters the first time

Brother in law is trying to learn remote viewing so he can win the lottery. I remain on team just get a job

Look at this wild build I saw yesterday

One of the only things you aren't allowed to say

Kagrenac posting

The best predictor for student success is an embarrassing crush that makes their professor slightly uncomfortable. To this end i suggest stylists who are given the keys to professors homes so they can throw out cargo pants.

When my grandmother died my grandfather sent paper plates and napkins from their house, but not the first edition Oz books. Those he donated to a local library. He did this because my mother already owned copies. He valued the books for what they were, not their accidental attributes.

I don't plan on it, but if I do have a years long meth fueled crashout I hope it results in some surprisingly competent arm tattoos and no professional consequences

Magic Missal

"if you don't do what the press wants they'll make sure the fascists win" is not an argument for doing what they want it's an argument that to be free we must kill them. I'd rather not, but I'm the one receiving the ultimatum not making it

Minnesota isn't Democratic, just the people who live there. Ok man let me poll some dirt....

The thing about anti vaccination stuff is how abstract does someone trying to kill my kid need to be before I'm the bad guy for, y'know, stopping it concretely?

Happy feast of st. Lawrence

Friends, I believe that we can work together to build a world where the biggest problems are teaching children to use the post office to keep in touch with friends who moved away and the letter V feeling unappreciated and underutilized

My work email is filled with people asking to be taken off an email list because the mail expander sends replies to the whole distribution list and apparently the people in the high performance computing mail list can't set email rules

Disproving conservation of mass by weighing the food I give my baby and the leftover food that's been thrown about

I'll bet if I knew more about Mario cart I could make a passable joke about this.

Imagine having the power to get maladjusted weirdos to stalk someone and commit property crime and using it on Will Stancil instead of like Russ Voight

Learning a new language can be very rewarding but you should do it for yourself and no one else. Especially because if you learn one for a girlfriend it gives your wife a pretty high expectation

One of my favorite weird yes anding things from antiquity is the claim that Rolands sword was Hectors and also it had St Peters tooth in it. Because it imagines Roland walking into a smith with a bronze sword and requesting that he add about 2 ft to it and *digs in pocket" stick this tooth in it

"buddism isn't a religion with supernatural elements" is one of the most inexplicably effectively propagandized ideas. Everytime I mention my mother in law some white person tells me it's odd that she leaves out food for spirits or prays because of some half remembered thing a hippie said

We already have this it's the ghost of Christmas past scenes they are exactly as long as they can be already. Dickens was paid by the word I promise he didn't cut even any fat

People say that divorce has largely eliminated women poisoning their husbands but as soon as I got home from a work trip my wife poisoned me (made me a salad)

You know who I think would be a good interview for Jiminy Glick is Martin Short