JP

Who else will die uttering "psspsspsspss?"

Casual Sunday flat pack furniture built. The parts list goes up to 11. The bags of parts go up to 12....

My weekend has mainly been work and an extraordinary case of hives so bad that I could have scratched my skin off. A wanted to call 111 it was so bad but thankfully seems to have died down now. I've no idea what sparked it but I've now got two weeks of flare-ups to come. Stupid allergies.

I'm currently operating a reverse FIFO policy on the black olives. First out the jar, first in my mouth.

Made my pot pie. Inhaled the veg. Having the other half for lunch tomorrow with extra extra greens. Yes, the veg is overdone but it was roasted, not steamed so actually not mush. Saved the second for my partner who loves a pie and is away with work.

I've been awake for most of the night kicking off covers because I'm too hot and having weird, intricate dreams (even by my standards). Now I'm at my desk wearing two jumpers and freezing. What gives?

I've decided to start on #Celebritytraitors. Never watched in. No idea who is who so this will be fun. S1E1 is on.

Morning #Caturday folks.. Have you started thinking about what to get your cat for Christmas? Well how about a cat sofa craftysharp.etsy.com

Still at the "it's too hot stage" All the women in my social circle are older and just laugh. All my colleagues are younger and don't understand. At least anyone I see socially knows why I'm still wearing a vest top in October. And my colleagues are all remote so it doesn't matter.

I've just realised the best thing about WFH. I can put stuff in the air fryer BEFORE my lunch so it's ready when I clock off for my break. Genius. (I usually cook properly but it's just me today so freezer fun it is)

The covid has cleared but the ENT irritation is ongoing. Everything tastes of metal and I'd like to drill through my ears. On the plus side, I've been invited for the double vaccine this time round so I'll be getting that as soon as I can.

Is "permanently clammy" a peri symptom? I'm just always too warm. I cannot wait for winter so I can freeze at night. I've always run a tad warm but this is stupid. I've lived in vests and big scarves since my late 20's. How can I wear even less now?

Going in. @jonnelledge.bsky.social

The heating is on. Not because it's cold, to kick start the hot water and make sure the radiators are working before we need them to. The actual heating won't be on for weeks yet. It's amazing how resourceful you become once you're on oil and can see it dropping by the hour.

I've been quarantining so my partner and cat don't catch this. Came down for something to eat and the cat LOVES me. Lasted two minutes of course but it was nice to be wanted for a moment. Back to bed now with #therestishistory podcast to get me through the night.

Eugh. I have COVID. WFH means I've not been ill for months but someone at the funeral must have had it. I feel dreadful. It's come on exactly the same as the first time I had it. Sore throat niggling for a day then suddenly everything aches- even my hair. Bed calls.

Logged into the work chat as part of my return to work set up for tomorrow. Message from bestest colleague begging me to come back so she can bitch at someone. I am *really* good at being the teams light relief and general cheerleader. Plus I make them all feel young. They are young.

Went for lunch with an old-friend today. Put the world to rights for 4 hours and yet barely scratched the surface. What would we be without our people?

Leaving tomorrow for funeral duties so tonight is empty the fridge onto a plate dinner. Cold pie with 3 kinds of mustard. Pickled onions (the good ones). A piece of sausage roll. Later will be houmous and cheese. Related - can I freeze burrata and halloumi?

I'm cringing in advance. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I very rarely watch TV but I've just seen a Tampax advert. "Last week a Tampax saved my day"??? Oh fuck off. Periods are fucking awful and annoying. Don't give us glam and glitz. Just give us shit that works. Your product deals with one facet of the whole horror, stop pretending it fixes it.

Why is it so humid? I feel grim.

Country life is weird. I can hear someone training her dog, or horse. Thing is, that field is HALF A MILE away! It's wonderful how still and quiet it is.

This lazy girl didn't wake up until after 11. Sleep is more fun than breakfast especially in a sunbeam.

There is an Apache doing circuits over my house. Can they at least 'do' something? A flare, jump or even a wiggle?

Dolly Parton did so much good in the world, which means we all have to do a little more to make up for her loss and honor her memory 🫡

if infrastructure is what connects people, holds them together, serves, supports, and endures, then Dolly Parton was infrastructure.

Went to one of the local pubs. As usual, the tiny sports car had a flock of attractive young women around it.... I lie, it was middle aged men. It is always middle aged men. My job is to stand and comiserate with the other WAGS while the men exchange car photos.

Wisteria is just jumped-up, middle-class ivy with better PR.

Looking at replacing a car. Unless there is a nice lottery win in my future I'm not allowed to suggest anything fun.

We are at the V.E.T for a check up. Suki decided what I really needed was a dirty protest on the way there in the car. Vet nurses are angels and took her in the back to clean her up. My dog would have NEVER. Cats are such drama queens.

And your point is, caller?

Breakfast of champions this morning. Big bowl of greek yogurt with just a spoonful of curd stirred through. Utterly delicious! Thanks to @kavey.bsky.social for the delicious breakfast treat!

I just pushed my sunglasses up onto my head because my face was getting sweaty then realised it was my actual glasses that I never wear and now they are tangled in my hair. I'm only wearing bloody glasses because I had 4 hours sleep last night and my eyeballs are like sticky dots. Ewwww

Nearing the Severn and I can already see and smell the smoke over Wales. This is just insane. Such extreme weather and so dangerous.

Is there a sleep upgrade I can buy? It's not the heat, it's the hormones. I'm exhausted and wide awake since 4. I could cry for lack of sleep. #peri #exhausted.

I remember watching the last eclipse standing next to a burger van on an industrial estate in Fife. What's your least glamorous eclipse story?

The morning after the night before.... I slept in. How is this possible? I wake up sweating at 5am every day, how can I actually have slept through that and my alarms? I don't have hangxiety. However, I am going to be very late for work as I am currently still 120 miles from home charging the car

This is the worst time of the year for some veg imo. No fresh sprouts, the new potatoes are all old and take an age to cook because they are massive. Yes, first world problems but I'm HUNGRY. I want to eat.

Speaking as a woman, why the fuck is my back still hurting today. This is not fair. I've done my allotted back pain for the month. I mean, apart from the chronic back pain. This is new. It better not be permanent. I'll be needing two new hips at this rate.

As an adult, what is the most boring thing you do when your partner is away? I'm making chicken stock. He hates the smell of it but loves the pie it will produce. I freeze all the chicken carcasses then once he's away I boil them all up and reduce into tasty stock cubes and freeze those too.