John O’Donnell

Ok, let’s go through the measurements here. I million seconds is 11 days 1 billion seconds is 31 years 1 trillion seconds is 983,003 years And Alpha Centauri, our closest star, 40 trillion km away. Space is fucking huge. I cannot comprehend how big it is.

I’m going through the middle, wish me luck.

Whenever I am reading something and the phrase “cornhole tournament” turns up, I’m going to lose my shit. I have no idea what a cornhole tournament is, apart from some sort of anal sex competition, which I assume it isn’t.

Two of Jane Austen’s brothers became Admirals. And people wonder why the Brontë sisters were more relevant.

Stop wasting money, and a lot of hopes, on shit like this. The only cities they care about in Europe are capitals. It’s never going to happen.

You R’s. We didn’t fuck up. Marvellous scenes at The Cathedral Of Football.

I see Tom Skerritt has died. He always struck me as a quality character actor like David Straithairn or Jason Robards. They always grounded a film in reality that made everything else a lot more believable, which made it worth watching, even if the film wasn’t that great.

2Wet 2 Wild.

Maybe the BBC should get someone who actually knows what he is talking about then.

Not to go all Liz Truss, but look at this. This is the Ariane 6 rocket, the only European rocket capable of launching satellites, and possibly people, into space. Look at the flags, where is Britain? Why aren’t we involved in exploration of the final frontier. Disgusting. Even Ireland are in.

I have just found out that Michael Aspel and Kathy Staff were in an Oscar winning film, and I thought I’d share it, as I have no idea what to do with this information.

I was literally saying, “If Spurs get a draw out of this, at least they have a point.” Then United scored. Spurs are a fucking clown club, the only reason they exist is to give the rest of us amusement.

If I was a politician, and leader of my party, I would find it incredibly easy to decry Israel’s response to an attack on them, while also saying Hamas are wrong, and also say that the two state solution is the only one that will work. Hold on, I just did.

Was Tom Watson running out of money to feed his enormous gut or something? It isn’t just Gary Sambrook who eats big dinners.

The things you see on t’internet.

My guess? Cheese theft.

Ex Jeremy Corbyn spokesman. You can all make up your own jokes.

US Government does nothing to dissuade the world that America is a violent society that glorifies violence part 426,782.

All of it or just a boner part?

For five years, he kept this eel, up his ass.

A nice little quote from a random Redditor. “Mike Graham looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters, if Slimer was the ghost of a peadophile.”

I am not putting this up because that criminal, liar and fuckwit Archer has died.

Sounds about right.

On the bus up to the tube station, and someone in a Mercedes people carrier was parked in the bus stop on a red route and wouldn’t budge. Now people get away with this shit all the time, so you should have heard me laugh when a police car pulled up.

Being on a packed London bus full of tourists is always entertaining, how do we pay? Which door do we go out of? Why are people trying to get off to go to work telling me to get the fuck out of their way?

Another reason to bring back the 1735 Witchcraft Act, which made it illegal to claim to be capable of magic. At least we in the UK could lock up these con artists.

I see Quentin Tarantino plays The Witcher 3.

Just reading about this Flydubai incident. The whole thing is just mental. Passengers breaking in to the cockpit to save a pilot from being stabbed to death, a dentist giving emergency aid, and the absolute stroke of luck that there were two pilots travelling on the flight. A tale and a half.

Every message my mobile provider sends that isn’t pertinent to our arrangement, which is 99.9% of them, I report as spam. I know it won’t achieve anything, but I enjoy it.

Oh, what a surprise, I finally get on a train, and I’m stuck behind all the trains that have terminated early. I tell you, I’m seriously considering voting for any Mayor who wants to privatise these arseholes.

You notice they are both from towns rather than cities? Yes, because that’s where they breed the morons.