Joe Keenan

Meta's decision to end fact-checking makes this a good day to share Bebe Neuwirth's wry, lovely performance of a song called "Facts." When I wrote the lyric, the trend it laments felt new and, we all hoped, transitory. It has since, so to speak, Metastasized. www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJOZ...

We know Trump's lost a step 'cause when he rebranded AI he missed his chance to call it Machine Expertise, then write a million posts saying "Everyone agrees that the HOTTEST THING ever is ME!! Before ME America was DOOMED, but thanks to ME and ME alone we've entered a new GOLDEN AGE of..." [etc]

"No fatties, no trannies, no beardos, no weirdos." Hegseth's vision for the military always sounds like an old gay personals ad written by a fussy Bloomingdale's necktie salesman named Bryce.

❤️A Poem for Natalie❤️ Of course Trump loves Natalie Harp. Her manner is soothing, not sharp. She reads him his clippings And makes sure his drippings Collect on a washable tarp.

When I wrote for Frasier I never thought about what our apartment set was saying, except that Frasier was pretty posh and had a kitchen that rendered him inaudible to people six feet away. My niece Meaghan Roddy has thought about the set a *lot* and proves it in this terrific article for Dwell.

I’m so sick of the 🐝’s irrational prejudice against madrigals.

🎶 "Sit Down, You're Blocking The Vote!"🎵 Six years ago the great Brad Oscar and I borrowed a song from Guys & Dolls to mock Trump's refusal to concede the 2020 election. Satirical ditties tend to date fast, but 6 years later Trump's more set on denying his loss than ever. To which we still reply:

For a few years I've replied vaguely when asked what, if anything, I was writing. I try to avoid blather I might later regret about books started but not done, done but not represented, or agented but not sold. Today* brought some nice post-able proof that I haven't been idle. *My b'day! So, nice!

Pope Leo tells us that divine mercy is infinite, so I won't presume to guess Lindsey Graham's posthumous destination. But I do know for certain that whether he's now sitting next to God or to Satan, he's grinning obsequiously, slapping his thigh, and saying, "Good one, boss!"

Doctors say McConnell‘s chances are 50/50, but they’re confident they can save the geraniums growing out of his topsoil.

Doctors say McConnell‘s chances are 50/50, but they’re confident they can save the geraniums growing out of his topsoil.

Who’s booking the talent for this thing? Because the Witness Protection Program is missing a swell opportunity for mafia stool pigeons who can play an instrument.

I never knew that Republican congressman could develop depression themselves. I thought they were just carriers.

How soon before Trump bombs Algeria because he thinks that’s where algae comes from?

I can report that the episode's back. It was pulled because a KACL scene began with a test of the emergency broadcast system which—God knows why—the FCC now bans for entertainment use. (Talk shows have been heavily fined for deploying it in gags.) The replacement noise is absurd. But the ep is back!

This is unfortunate, yes, but “pond scum to Washington” may just be the “coals to Newcastle” update we’ve needed for decades.

Of course DHS Sec. Mullin is getting rich off addictive gas station drugs. With a name like Markwayne, what kind of graft did we expect? Black market harpsichords?

Trump declaring victory because Iran has agreed to talk some more is like a TV writer buying a house because he just scored a pitch meeting with Netflix.

I’m sorry, 22 doctors and not one taxidermist?

This is nothing. Imagine if he’d gone to the Tonys last night.

Ordure in the court.

Why would I be tempted to use AI in my writing? I've been getting things wrong on my own for years.

The shots fired near the White House will be so useful to Trump's ballroom arguments that the FBI should rule out political motives and start rounding up parquet floor installers.

Why has Paramount axed a single episode of Frasier from its streaming service? And why is it episode 2.3 “The Matchmaker,” my TV writing debut and first gay farce? I hear it’s disappeared from other platforms as well. Why! I welcome any inside dish that explains it. Crackpot theories fine too.

Well, there’s a relief. I thought a day-old escort was a bit young, even for him.

This is why savvy hitman try to lure their victims to the Brigadoon Hilton.

“I said to him, ‘This is an enormous privilege, Charles,’ and Charles, a grown king with tears in his eyes, said, ‘It certainly is, sir! I hope for you too.’”

Trump: I’m not a rapist! [music in] “I’m just a boy who can’t hear ‘No!’ Call me the Kisser in Chief! Each time a gal says,’Stop that! Whoa!’ I get a little bit deef!”

"How many more black tie dinners need to end after the salad course before the president's critics forsake their heartless pursuit of accuracy?"

Some mentalist, huh?

Trump now says that the image he posted then removed was meant to depict him as a doctor, not as Jesus. To prove his point he posted this screen grab from last week's episode of The Pitt.

It’s nice to know so far in advance what will surely be sci-fi/alien invasion cinema of the 2030s’ most frequently exploded object.

Does anyone else watch Trump and his war cabinet bluff their way through press questions about Iran and wonder how it might play as a musical number based on “The Press Conference Rag” (“We Both Reached For The Gun”) from Chicago? Just me? I thought so. Here’s how I imagine it:

The world may be going to hell but I’m glad that my garden and its current residents seem not to know this.

It’s only fair that Trump should be allowed to choose Iran’s next leader. Russia got to pick ours.

“Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas” sounds like a job where the uniform’s made out of cardboard and Reynolds Wrap.

Neve Campbell may not be our most versatile actress, but she's always managed to eek out a living.

Ever seen a hummingbird nest? Neither had I before spotting this one in the potted tree outside our bedroom. Here’s hoping the DHS doesn’t bust me for running a sanctuary ficus.

Right-wing Christians have done some pretty heinous things to turn gay people straight, but this goes too far.

Bondi: "Yeesh! The last Attorney General NEVER got asked about Nosferatu's victims, but since President Dracula took office it's all you people want to talk about!"