John Royal

New official flag of the City of Houston.

Hey @evan7257.bsky.social if I just write a bunch of first-grade taunts will you also publish me on the op-ed page?

I got one! @jenrice.bsky.social

I experienced the perfect moment in time last week and am still in awe. johnroyal.substack.com/p/the-rainbo...

“The French never rioted or burned things down before!” (I mean, if anything, this shows that immigrants have assimilated to French history and culture).

There is one (1) real transgender sports problem in Texas, and it is this: You cannot watch a single quarter of any televised sporting event in this state without hearing a bunch of politicians and their supporters stir up hate against trans people.

Is it bad if major defense contractors have their own foreign policies?

Did i ever tell you about that time I almost died on my birthday? johnroyal.substack.com/p/life-death...

A John Royal birthday story. johnroyal.substack.com/p/life-death...

Maybe it’s just me, but I for one would not keep pissing off Council Member Salinas.

Every time I think my hatred for Donald Trump might be at the my limits, I hear Andre Ware go off on coaches running a play from the shotgun on 4th and short and I go, yeah, I still have some space to grow my hatred.

I find it interesting that both of the baseball players Donald Trump has advocated for and/or honored this year – Roger Clemens and Pete Rose – were involved in the exploitation of girls who were no older than 15 at the time. What a weird coincidence.

NEW AD: Introducing SCANDUEL! The only betting app where you can parlay Ken Paxton’s scandals — and get paid! Here’s a tip: Always bet that he did the thing. 💰

Trump could let Iran take out Los Angeles and San Diego and the Colorado Rockies still would not win the NL West.

I don't understand. Mayor Whitmire specially said in council that the city was not seeking this grant. Surely Mayor Whitmire wouldn't lie, would he? www.houstonchronicle.com/politics/hou...

What happened to the Texans defense?

The Texans are so much better when Nico Collins is healthy.

I wrote about one of my favorite baseball players, Justin Verlander, and his retirement. johnroyal.substack.com/p/justin-ver...

I was at Justin Verlander’s first MLB win. He was one of my favorite players even before he was an Astro. What a career. johnroyal.substack.com/p/justin-ver...

Crying? I'm not crying. Why do you ask?

Guess who got himself some tickets to see Oasis next year? That's right, this guy.

Oh hell yes! This song rocks! And what a great video. Welcome back, U2! youtu.be/1mCN-RDh0-0?...

There's this United flight back from SFO years ago I like to complain about, but that's nothing on this...

Newman!

Zero fucks Chris Simms is something. (and by the way, if Ted Cruz and Heavy Nixon are in favor of it, you don’t really need to read the details to know it’s horrible)

Unlike the hateful Macklemore, I have respect for all the world's people—from the Jews of Israel to the Palestinians of Gaza to the Orchids of Asia. by Robert Kraft

Jimmy James got his Emmy! youtu.be/YhrnMbhMgmw?...

Dear ESPN, what do I have to to escape Pat McAfee? I no longer watch you during the daytime. I no longer watch College Gameday. I refused to watch the pregame show tonight. Yet here I am watching the game, cut to halftime, and there's Pat McAfee. Is there really that big an audience for this guy?

Back in July I spoke before Houston City Council. Now @embaleez.bsky.social has done a story for Houstonia Magazine about what it likes to speak before Council, and I'm quoted in the story. I think it's an interesting read, and not just because I'm in it. www.houstoniamag.com/news-and-cit...

This could have been written by Houston’s mayor; John Whitmire.

This is what happens when you build a constituency off Twitter and memes

Texans gonna Texans.

That’s the Texans offensive line I remember from last season.

Someday the Houston Dash will figure out what they’re doing. Maybe. Sigh.

If we've learned anything from Formula 1 this weekend, theres always a chance that this result is changed on appeal 3 months from now

Look, I’m just saying that in about 5 years there’s going to be a true crime documentary series about “Prediction Markets” and this Michigan game is DEFINITELY going to be an episode.

That was one of the most blatant pieces of cheating I’ve ever seen lmao

It was nice of the officiating crew to magically find that one second for Michigan.

I wrote a bit about Tim Curry and the joy of just being yourself, even it makes people think you're strange or different. johnroyal.substack.com/p/on-tim-cur...

Dear ESPN please get Pat McAfee off of my fucking TV already.

As soon as the next Democrat is inaugurated as President I want the bulldozers rolling on the ballroom and the arch and anything else.

Dear @mattlanza.bsky.social this is what happens when you move out of Houston.

Kat Rader is a really fun player to watch; as are all of the team’s talented crop of rookies. The Dash are building something good.

The story about Sean Lennon becoming a father is once again reminding me of one of my most tightly-held convictions: that if John Lennon had lived he would've spent the past 20-25 years sharing the most dogshit opinions imaginable and we'd all be constantly justifying our love of the Beatles.

Honestly if I was a Dem presidential candidate I would be touting that fact that we could pay for some of my policies by charging people for the opportunity to destroy some of the crap Trump has done. You could raise *millions* from destroying the ballroom, brick by brick, alone.

Hey @embaleez.bsky.social didn’t Houston City Council just vote in favor of his a couple of weeks ago? I think Salinas and Panzarella were the only ones to vote “no” and they both expressed concerns about Flock. www.texastribune.org/2026/08/28/t...