karlaceguy.bsky.social

the pope is dead. good riddance to bad rubbish.

BREAKING! Affirmation Coyote has just learned that it is Yodel For Your Neighbors Day! YOU. KNOW. WHAT. TO. DO.

It’s not just that you elected a lying, cheating, lustful, selfish brain dead moron with the intelligence of roadkill. It’s that knowing all that, you elected them TWICE!!!

“My maid of honour for my upcoming wedding now says they’re a trans man! Shall I kick them off the list?” Well you clearly liked them enough to ask them before, but if your first thought now is ‘shun them’ perhaps they are better off away from your bigotry.

ME: *writing in my journal with the sole aim of pissing off future historians and archaeologists* I returned to my home - which is built in the usual style - by the normal way, and prepared and ate dinner in the way I often but not always do

hitler had multiple assassination plots against him by his own associates. You people are letting the side down.

Close Call

I’m here to make and respond to posts. I am not interested in chats or being your “friend.”

Going to the movies by yourself is one of life’s hidden pleasures. Just you and a large popcorn and some sour patch kids and all of your big goblin energy alone in the dark where nobody can see your shame. Priceless.

Ok two step plan. Step one. Set up a protest to get dumpy to do a press conference. Step two. Grease the steps.

*singing "no war but class war" instead of the pa rum pum pum pum in Little Drummer Boy*

Xmas music is kinda cute when you're 5 and don't yet know these songs are celebrating an omnipotent man impregnating a teenage girl without consent.

The Old Testament? I think you mean The Great Begatsby

Is there a union to replace and reset all those booby traps in ancient tombs?

Things to say in a confessional. “Remember father, when I said I’d kill you last? I lied.” “Daddy, I’ve been so naughty.” “Got any of those little cookies?” “Oh man, those beans are coming back hard.”

It’s Friday the 13th! In honour of Jason of the holy machete, let us skinny dip, drink, smoke pot, and have premarital sex!

Earth is a sphere. It consists of a flaky crust, over a thick creamy mantle of magma, and inner core of nickel, iron, and nougat. Mental note: don’t write these posts when hungry…

he got what he had coming.

Can i haz kisses?

Just a heads up. If your name is any variant of Elon musk. I will be blocking you. You’re probably a joke account, but I won’t be taking that chance. If you ARE a joke account, nothing personal.

Scenario: you are piloting a faster than light starship. You encounter a generation ship and offer them your tech. Their response? “No thanks, we’re good.” Discuss…

hm, lunch looks a little undercooked...

Don't shelter the old dog in favour of the new puppy, keep them both! How else is the new pup supposed to learn how to dog properly?

My pitbull puppy Shippi just had a spirited conversation with an empty water bottle...

Meet Shippietaro, she is my 9 week old adopted pitbull puppy.

As a kid i wanted to visit sesame street, but no-one would tell me how to get there...

for glory, for snacks! www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SbX...

Don’t you hate it when you get a song stuck in your head? “Zydrate comes in a little glass vial…”