Alan Williams

Who says romance is dead?

For Carrie Frances: 🎂 ❤️

Trump: "I'm studying his body. I've never studied the body of a man before. It's not my thing. Nothing wrong with it, of course. But it's never been my thing. But I looked at his ass. I said, 'His ass, shit, it's like a pile of muscle.' Then I looked at his legs and I said, 'Man, his feet are big.'"

Since we’re renaming things, here’s a Trump, located along the Appalachian Trail in Georgia.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Ambassador to American Express, Kimberly Gargoyle!

I don't want a job. I want to be a writer. and if writing never becomes my job I never have to work. I haven't figured out the money part of the plan yet, I'm planning just to die first and then I won't have to write anymore. I have it all figured out. Just follow me for more tips

Sundae Gurl’s post inspired me…

Donald, Melania, and Natalie - a romantic triangle where every angle is obtuse.

He’s got numbers nobody’s seen, facts nobody can verify, and confidence nobody can explain.

Hard to imagine what that would be like

We know from discovery produced in the Dominion litigation that Laura Ingraham literally does not believe her own bullshit and considers it simply political propaganda needed to assure the support of Trump and the MAGA GOP. Here's another great example: bsky.app/profile/deco...

Pete’s gonna let me reenlist!

“Children who are circumcised at a young age are twice as likely to develop autism…” No, they don’t. And has there ever been another administration so obsessed with other people’s junk?

We have never looked weaker or more pathetic.

BELOW: If chlamydia were elected to Congress.

I did not have BoBo getting caught in a bisexual polycule scandal complete with $200k in hush money on my bingo card but I’m gleefully making popcorn for it. 🍿🥤

Okay, this got me.

PHOTO: Trump supporters debate whether or not it's okay to wear white after Labor Day.

UNFUN FACT: All this bullshit is just to protect a pedophile.

When the edible hits and you’re at the Taco Bell drive thru.

How it started: How it's going:

Protesters at the Irish Open. shitler’s international golf links and hotel Doonbeg, Ireland. Thank you, Doonbeg!

Indeed.

This just in…Charlie Kirk, like Generalissimo Francisco Franco, is still dead.

Nothing says “Make America Great Again” like snuff-film night at the convention center.

In Dante's circles of Hell, Treachery is actually an icy world. It's also the deepest level. youtu.be/Ww9umQGyqs0?...

Grindr’s fixin’ to crash.

Trump claims he was basically lifted out of the rubble on 9/11: "Two fireman, big strong guys, they grabbed me under the arms -- 'got to get our of here!' -- and they literally lifted me up, and they started running with me."

“Don’t tell me that you remember Sept. 11, 2001. I remember Sept. 11, 2001. But I heard her say she was there that day. I was there that day. I don’t remember seeing Hillary Clinton there.” - Rudy Giuliani