teabiscuit

dog was like "this tube ain't shit" and put on another and passed out for two days

The problem with being married over the long term is all your stories get burned Did I tell you about the time I talked to Andy Dick? "Yeah, I think so." ...That guy sucked. "Yeah. It sounded like it." ... <sigh>

You, too, can make your own fun with nothing but an $800 dental procedure and whatever it costs for applesauce

might delete later

RIP to this man. This is a really powerful 62 seconds of video.

Prayers up for everyone who didn't get any coke because Billy Evans took it all

UPDATE: Other Mommy Can See 4DX: Streetfighter

Getting a little tired of these tie-ins tbh

Your Mother Can See Devils, The

It's giving Distracted Boyfriend meme but backwards 🐕

The next Democratic president should appoint 700 Supreme Court justices, and during their first session, without warning, they should all swarm Bret Kavanaugh and eat him.

Important update to desk decor

Just because the racist assholes are doing their special chant doesn't mean you have to show it on TV

Sorry you're too good at batting, Ty France. Milwaukee are too precious to play in sunlight, so that's you fucked

Oh damn, he's got the basketball pads

Violence in the stands should always be condemned, unless it's against Atlanta racists

Fans in the stands at Dodger Stadium right now are God's strongest soldiers

Give them their dignity. Give them a desk.

I harbor murder in my soul

What Cubs game?

With 30 lines of Python, I can automate being killed with a hammer

Can't find the button for 🔨 I'd Rather Be Killed With a Hammer

Just wanted everyone and @darthbluesky.bsky.social to see Stanley standing on stuff

Greatest thread, enjoy

It's very funny that so many average people, not in any position in the media or politics, feel the need to volunteer unprompted that they are willing to sacrifice the rights or lives of a particular group of people. Thanks man. Thanks for letting us know.

Sans rent dans ma tête

David Lee Roth for the entirety of 1984

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period.

There should be a Sniffies but instead of hooking up it just shows you how many folks also watching, at that moment, Elaine Stritch: At Liberty in your like zip code or whatever. It would be heartwarming. It would be community. Without the awkwardness and cleanup.

Simply can not express how much you need this hat in your life

Evergreen disclaimer

one in the breach; two in the observance

The union is ready to issue its demands

You're right; I didn't like this either

Okay, so I got the suit. Now how do I find a seer?

Today's Dream Thought That Made Me WTF So Hard That I Woke Up: snake labia