Martha O'Neill

Beds: How do they work? (A George Michael investigation.)

Maturity is being able to eat all the bacon you want but not doing it.

Tip for new moms: enjoy that wheelchair ride out of the hospital.

The internet is great and all until you have an apostrophe anywhere in your name.

If you support Bradford, you are endorsing a fascist.

Read this, please. So, so important. We need to talk about this with our young men. All men and women.

My pup got poop stuck in his tail so ran around the house like he was being chased by the ghost of Scooby-Doo, flinging bits everywhere! Then scooched over all the carpets! Happy Friday!

How I arrived on Bluesky.

A dimmer switch should only have 3 settings: 1. I've lost the back of my earring 2. Warm glow 3. Bow-chicka-wow-wow

My extremely inebriated friend Patton Oswalt narrates the epic saga of The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota on a brand new episode of DRUNK HISTORY! youtu.be/afXtQ6ghzsA?...

There are so many remedies for getting the smell of garlic off your hands, but I don't understand why anyone would like to get the smell of garlic off their hands.

Be serious. Bert and Ernie are not “in love.” Maybe they used to be, once

One good thing about getting older is that people don’t ask me when I’m due anymore.

Anyone else look online at floor plans of dream homes that you'll someday never build?

How can I eat him when I've already named him?! #Dennis

So glad he never apologized!

Anyone need a can of garbage? (forgot to put it out today)

Yo, recipe... stir CONSTANTLY?! Like, contantly constantly? Uh-uh. Nope. No time for that crazy talk.

😂😂😂 Everyone looking at Mitch McConnell leaving his home like:

Whatever I've achieved in my life, meeting 2 of James Brown's 4 wives is way up there.

RIP Bob Mackie. www.nytimes.com/2026/09/14/s...

Leviticus was such an asshole.

25 years ago, almost every plane that was over the North Atlantic when the second tower was hit was forced to land in Newfoundland. A call was on the radio: they needed folks who spoke various languages to come to the stadium to help organize the sea of humanity that just showed up at our door.

Weird how history repeats, eventually.

Not to brag, but our product has been foldable since 1828.

George Michael, deep in thought.

Come from Go Away

Next person who says to me "Really beginning to feel like autumn" gets spiced in their pumpkin.

I love how he's purposely looking awful for this appearance - scruffy beard, zits, no make-up, squinty-eye etc. "Look how I was brutalized!"

“You’re a little late…”

The way everyone SCREAMS Ontario.

Can the guy even swim?

The wrong 80-year-old died. RIP, Dolly. What a legend.

Dogs are so funny when you take them camping. 1st day they're all freaked out - "What was that noise?! What was that smell?!" By the 2nd night they're, "Ah, well, I guess we live in the woods now. "

I truly hope these guys made a ton of money from this one-hit wonder, because, PHEW, they were/are talented. McAlmont & Butler, "Falling" www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qgk...

👩‍🍳💋 ifloz.substack.com/p/king-carne...

Say no more!

Never felt older than my consistent mix-up saying "BTK" (serial killer) instead of "BTS" (super-hot Korean boy band, currently playing down the street from me.) #LeSigh

Also - please join me if you will in flooding Bluesky with Canadian culture. Music, art, film, TV. Let’s show the vibrancy of this place I’m proud to call home.

Someone tell the New York Post they are free to use the headline "Natalie Imbroglio"