Matt Was Here

Pat Mahomes be like

Take a shot every time Collinsworth says freaky.

Bye Drew!!!!!!!

Dan Lanning is a public employee. Handling things internally and not answering to the public isn’t an acceptable option. Fire Drew Mehringer and answer questions without contempt for the people watching the games and buying the tickets. 🤡

Actor: “What about her?” Chef: “What school did you go to?” Actor’s girlfriend: “Brown” Chef: “Student loans?” Actor’s girlfriend: “No…” Chef: “You’re dying.”

If I wanted Russian gas, I’d eat these:

Vivek Ramaswamy should make a toupee from his hand hair for his giant forehead.

Accidental art.

Trump, Xi, and Putin in a room… together?

I love that the score bug just says “Nooo”

The Miami game was completely rigged to protect the only ACC team with a chance at the CFP. Change my mind.

Waiting for the Oregon game to start.

Few people know this but Elon Musk‘s middle name is Anus

Has anyone checked on Annie? I’m just wondering if she’s okay.

Que the State Farm Curt Cignetti ad now motherfuckers. I dare you.

Add "for Tax Purposes" to a movie: Mars Needs Moms for tax purposes Gone With the Wind for tax purposes The Spy Who Loved Me for tax purposes (2027) The Resurrection of the Christ for tax purposes

Susie Wiles out there looking like she entered the Matrix.

Well it’s been fun guys. ✌️

I hate that these are our choices for Oregon. Human Q-tip vs. baby voice MAGA.

James Franklin would’ve lost to Northwestern for less.

If I told you that the Trump administration was planning to just say fuck it and pave over the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, you‘d probably think it at least sounds plausible before disproving it. That’s how batshit crazy everything is in this timeline.

My mom and grandpa were born in Montana. I’ve visited many times and met lots of great people. You’re better than this Montana. Shut it down.

When you walk into the wrong room on Epstein’s island.

I apologize for using AI but I had a vision.

Do you think the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders perform at the funeral or no?

repost with an image of your favorite James Bond (wrong answers only)

Houston, we‘ve had a problem.

LAPD cops working for ICE contractors off duty — while the department fights to keep its moonlighting records hidden. That is the accusation now being leveled directly at LAPD leadership after a judge ordered the records turned over.

Please ensure that your seatbelt is securely fastened and tray tables and seat backs are locked in the upright position. Stow all carry-on baggage and place electronic devices in airplane mode. Once we reach cruising altitude you may begin to masturbate freely. Thank you for flying United Airlines.

"At some point in the early twenty-first century, all of mankind was united in celebration. We marveled at our own magnificence as we gave birth to AI." - Morpheus, ‘The Matrix’ 1999

I’m 99% sure that Mahomes wears his helmet so high to hide the little rat that controls his body.

You won’t convince me that Bagent is not Chad Powers.

I would expect this from Deshaun Watson but not Hurts