Mike Billips

America having a normal one. State Senate candidate in North Carolina is currently live-tweeting his pursuit by police. www.rawstory.com/amp/jonathan...

Pretty sure Shatner is gonna win the Enterprise bridge crew tontine.

I’ve been to a couple of Saddam’s palaces, Mr. President, and they are nowhere NEAR as tacky as the pictures I’ve seen of the current oval Office decor. I think you owe the late President Hussein an apology.

Flunked out of LAMDA in a dream last night because I quit on the calculus class midway through the semester. Dream me quite reasonably argued that an acting BFA shouldn’t HAVE a calculus requirement.

What the hell now, Pete, you drunken weirdo? Is France just too gay a country for the red-blooded troops?

This is outrageous behavior by Lindsey Graham. A $10 tip for $250 worth of sex? I hope Satan hears about this. www.instagram.com/reel/DezMIhN...

That does it, I am never voting for Lindsey Graham again.

Basketball is wild. The Valkyries played Atlanta step for step in the first half and fourth quarter but got blown out in the third. Both teams seem equally talented with the exception of Angel Reese, who is earning every dime of her superstar salary.

Good couples Halloween costume: red sweats and a purple fright wig. Pin a white circle with a sharpied number on it and boom! Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Not sure who’s more ignorant, fundamentalists about religious history or communists about the Soviet system.

Disavowing the Internationsl Brotherhood of Electrical Workers

Dumb ol’ Falcons, why ain’t you better?

Rising toward the top of the Democrstic agenda should be taking Starlink/Starshield away from Elon Musk. He is at best an adversary of US national defense policy and that is a key battlefield resource.

I see we're having a debate about whether it's okay to go back to "X," the site owned by a trillionaire fascist who is currently bankrolling the GOP's midterm, throttled Ukraine's war effort, and still winkingly allows vast amounts of CSAM on his service Answer: No, what the fuck is wrong with you

Angry phone call right now between Lorne Michaels and Trump. They have the sketch all written and mf couldn’t wait until Sunday to fire her?

Shaddup, nerd.

Not sure what’s more annoying, FB boomers posting “cute” AI slop or angry FB Gen Xers posting fake AI-generated food horrors on nonexistent menus and window displays.

Make a war film rubbish: The Dirty Baker’s Dozen

What? ATL, HOE! What? ATL, HOE! What? ATL, HOE! www.usatoday.com/story/shoppi...

All right, Knoxvilleans, you don’t have to stand for this shit. compassknox.com/2026/09/22/f...

Over/under on how many times Trump insults Paxton’s looks and/or dress sense tonight?

It’s called ornithology. Maybe you’ve bird of it?

The fuck? I’m in a starter pack? I am a nobody reply guy, folks, don’t expect too much.

People are misinterpreting this because of Trump’s fractured speaking style, which continues to worsen with dementia. “This is a very small price to pay” refers to gas prices. “Let them…” means, “wait til they nuke a US city, then gas prices won’t seem so important.”

This is the scale of project that gets announced by a mayor or local development board, not the US president in a national news conference. Governor-grade dog-and-pony show, tops.

This Georgia Tech-Stanford game was always gonna be an ugly game between two bad teams. But I did not anticipate the worst unit on the field being the officiating crew. #Holding

You shouldn’t take an iced coffee to a job interview because you need your hands free in case something goes down.

The most disappointing thing about Saturday’s big football game between Tennessee and Texas, their first-ever regular-season matchup, is that they will NOT be settling for all time which school is the “real” UT.

Respond with an image of your favorite James Bond (wrong answers only):

So an ethics complaint against Lauren Boebert claims she had sex with three staffers and paid them a VAST amount of hush money to cover it up. Sounds like something she’d probably do, but I wonder if it will be enough to stop her being reelected again. media.coloradotimesrecorder.com/wp-content/u...

Oh, god, he’ll be PERFECT playing that asshole. Can’t wait to see the elephants trying to plant and water him.

Please keep Michael Berryman and his family in your thoughts. On his way home from a convention, his house caught fire. Michael and his wife, Patty lost everything. We're working with his agent on this GoFundMe to lessen the burden Michael and Patty now face.

Mike DODGERS is too cowardly to show up to debate me.

OK, So the USA Rugby team is playing Hong Kong in France Nov. 8 but I can’t find a source ANYWHERE offering tickets for sale. What gives? #rugby #usaeagles

Speaking of chickens... Today is the day that I will debate...an empty podium. Because Mike Rogers is…well…

Nancy character flaw No. 3,216: selfish glutton.

I got in a bunch of arguments on Facebook with people who were convinced that McConnell was dead and Trump didn’t get his ear grazed by a bullet. They’ll probably claim it’s a body double when Mitch shows up. No, shut up, he has a fucking scar where it just touched his skin.

Men and boys at football games need to keep their goddam shirts on. Painted guys get a pass but if you wore a shirt to get in, keep it on.

Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the one ring.

Any restaurant I see using AI is getting a polite notice that I will eat elsewhere until they stop it.

Make a band edible: Spyro Gyro

Temu would definitely sell me more shit if I didn’t have to fight my way through five minutes of discount scams before being able to start shopping.

The last two new-tech ads I’ve seen have been bragging about their usefulness for people who can’t see well. So they’re trying to guilt us into using Chat GPT and Meta’s perv glasses in order to help the disabled. Good luck with that, fellas. Very selfless of you.

If It Happens today it’s gonna really screw with people’s attitude toward the date.

25 years

Maybe a top-five program tuning up on an FCS cupcake is not the best college game to put on Thursday night?

Uh, who gives a shit about heresy? You god-botherers can sort that out while you’re arguing about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

Is he gonna pay us this before or after the rebate we were gonna get from all the tariff revenue?

Forgetting about the attacks on 9/11 would be good and we should do it because the US response to 9/11 killed far more people and made America a less-free, worse place.